Can't wait to hear what everyone has to say about this SCP.
Originally I wanted to write something around the CotBG. Then I remembered that pic in the fuelbuckets. And so on.
Criticism welcome.
SCP-808 / Discussion
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There's an SCP-XXX left in there, the doll seems to have two pairs of arms, so it should be six limbs, and Evac Point Alpha seems to be missing.
You could also up the creep somehow, like making it incorporate the resonated metals into itself, or making the resonance strong enough at some point that chemically bonded metals are affected as well (such as the haemoglobin's iron).
non-electronic machinery affected by this resonance will spontaneously start up on their own through unknown means.
Could shorten that to simply:
non-electronic machinery affected by this resonance will spontaneously activate.
Also, what constitutes non-electronic machinery? Devices with no electronic components whatsoever, or only the non-electronic components of such devices as have them?
I'm not sure how I feel about this one, all in all. It's definitely not bad, but the humanoid effigy feels tacked on and clashes with my personal image of the broken god and associated artifacts - that it and everything to do with it is distinctly inhuman.
I like this one.
Now, I assume that because the resonance activates things it doesn't let them shake themselves to utter destruction?
Or am I wrong?
Either way, system.out.println("upvote")
I like this one. That being said, a few issues:
In the first and third paragraphs, you state that there in a human effigy atop it. I would get rid of the mention in the first paragraph; it's just redundant.
I feel like this one is cut off early:
- Scary Robot, cool
- Human effigy, cooler
- Crazy shit happens when it isn't well maintained, awesome
- Potentially lethal scream, slightly cliche but still cool
- Crazy shit includes….machines turning on. Neat, now what do they do?
- Run.
- So?
- …that's it.
See what I mean? You have a cool foundation but you don't quite build on it. At first I thought this was actually a giant automaton, and was expecting it to run around all giant or something, which would have admittedly been pretty cool (if a bit too Gundam-esque). Point is, you need to up the creep in some way. Withholding vote for now.
I'd love to make it mobile, but I was afraid of being accused of implying a "Church of the Broken Gundam". I've edited a bit to say it's unfinished and that the Church is growing without the Foundation knowing.
"Church of the Broken Gundam"
I'm still meh on the article, but let the record state that I have upvoted this phrase.
Agreed.
Please please fix the "it's" in the first paragraph!
it's = it is
its = belonging to it (as in: his, her, its)
I love the picture of the top part, but given that it is against a white background I feel like you should just say we removed and contained it separate from the rest of the rusty factory nightmare
Well, I had it contained within PVC. The background is the containment tank. Clarifying.
I fixed your "noises'" that should be "noise's". Learn how to possessivize.
/forum/t-303078/scp-808#post-
