There's something wrong with your interviews; there are what looks like excerpts at the start of each, before the description of when the interview took place.
SCP-3093 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3093.
I wanted to go for an artsy type of format, but I guess it's being misinterpreted. Fixing shortly.
I like the concept but I feel the formatting needs to be tightened up a bit. The interviews seem…off. Hard to place my finger on it.
Also, -3 is mentioned but never defined.
It's a ghost that only appears when there's strobe lights?
(0.55, 0.08), to my knowledge, is not the way to describe color on the electromagnetic spectrum. That's measured in nanometers, for wavelength. What you did seems like a coordinate grid.
This reminds me of the glasses that, when put on, show these gorilla-type things that are everywhere. The way they come about isn't exactly the same, because this is light and that's glasses, and in this they can write and kind of communicate, but that's what sprang first into my mind while reading the incident log. It's kind of the same general concept of things that are there that you cant see.
Also, it's kind of weird that you named the color after your username.
There's something here in the idea, I think. The writing, however, isn't supporting it well enough, and there are a lot of other little issues dragging it down as well.
SCP-3093-1 is to be guarded and placed under surveillance for a minimum of 20 hours per day. SCP-3093-1 has been instructed to notify any personnel of any recurrences of EE-3093.
This sort of thing is containment procedures info, and doesn't need to be bolded. (Putting something in the containment procedures is already the in-universe equivalent of writing it in giant red flashing text with skull emojis around it.)
The interviews and characterization attempts also aren't grabbing me. There're hints of a workable story there, but you're not providing enough context or buildup to sell me on an emotional connection with the characters. That means it's just coming across as "There was a girl but she's gone now", which I don't think is what you're going for.
On the technical side: A color space doesn't just identify wavelengths. It maps the combinations of light that we perceive as color. This is an important distinction, and actually works in your advantage here, because it allows you to pinpoint not only the wavelengths of light involved, but also things like relative luminance, saturation, and the exact combination of competing wavelengths involved. The preferred modern system is the CIELAB, which addresses numerous issues with earlier CIE standards like RGB, the most important being that it is device-independent and has a larger gamut than human vision. That means it remains accurate no matter what you're using to create said illumination, and can map colors of light that we can only-sort-of see, such as what you're describing here.
Also, concerning the characters, the intention was to have them come and go without development. I didn't want sympathy to be generated for a character who is only going to be seen once. It's an SCP, not a creepypasta. Cold and clinical is the tone I was going for.
I liked this. It needs a bit more meat to the interviews, but pretty good aside from that. +1.
I like this, but there's a stray reference to a nonexistent 3093-3 that should be changed or removed.
This feels like the very start of a story, but it's not developed enough to become actually interesting. Shapeless Greek-writing humanoids that get angry and kill people is a bland place for this to end up. The discussion between the doctors at the end is also strongly against the viewpoint of the Foundation, and science in general. They've confirmed an anomalous effect that is potentially dangerous; that's not a signal to stop doing research.
Also, the use of the D-Class seemed pretty pointless. If they wanted to know if he could see vulvide, ok, that requires testing human perception, but what purpose does "go stand in the being" serve, and why do you need a human to do it? No communications attempts?
The final moment really didn't help. How and why do you encrypt four letters? How would someone solve a four-character encrypted message in a reliable way? The only logic I got there is "encryption sounds mysterious, so it was encrypted."
-1
How did Dr. Vaughn prove the existence of SCP-3093-A? It doesn't seem right. I think, if you are to keep that "A" entity in, i think you should add a little more suspicion from the doctors. After all, there were only 2 people ever noticing that event and there is no proof they could be lying about not knowing eachother.
Hope this helps improving your article!
/forum/t-2309753/scp-3093#post-
page revision: 1, last edited: 25 Feb 2021 03:57
