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Summary deletions result for:
Deleted SCP-3046 - Hallucinogenic: Self deleted at -6 votes, multiple criticisms and faults in my work kindly pointed out, as well as other things I wasn't happy with in the article. Decided to delete the article so I could improve my article and start fresh.
SCP-3041 is a dark figure with wing-like appendages on the opposite side of its form. SCP-3041 appears to be a being from another universe, possibly a far stronger version of SCP-106. SCP-3041 has the ability to teleport to any living being and envelope them in darkness. While this action may seem frightening, it is actually a sign of joy like when a dog wags it's tail, -41 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
This looks like you were attempting to write a -J article, particularly with the crosslink to another -J article which are typically considered a separate canon. Even so, there isn't a lot of substance here. If you weren't, then this is a far-sight from an interesting or well structured article.
On the basis that this is an attempt at a proper main-list Skip, while fear and horror tendencies are good when used correctly and can add flavor to an article, they ultimately don't do anything on their own. If I'm not scared of the thing, then there's nothing in the article for me. There's no mystery, there's no story, there's not even really an interesting monster besides being "too scary to see" - just a bunch of cheap-shot "It's bad" notes. At best, such notes add to an already fleshed out article. They should not make up an entry in and of themselves.
To go into detail a little more about this:
Dangerous isn't the same as more interesting. A stronger version of 106? I think the majority of people will tell you that 106 is scary because of its difficulty of containment and enigmatic motivation first, and danger as a second. It's used a lot more soberly. The SCP here just piles danger on danger without reason for doing so other than for its own sake.
Due to the Extraordinary power of SCP-3041, all personal shall pray to whatever god there is and hope that SCP-3041 will never become bored again.
The Foundation isn't a religious organization, so this is pretty out of place as an instruction.
Make sure at all cost that SCP-3041 is entertained or the world is screwed as we know it.
Screwed? This is a recurring theme in this article. It looks like an anecdote more than an official report. Using language as casual as this is the opposite of clinical tone, which you really should use in official documentation.
If you fail to entertain SCP-3041
Don't refer to a second person.
then lockdown the facility immediately
Thereby assuming that the one holding the document has the authority to do so.
travel about 1000 miles away from the site,
Please use kilometers.
and kill yourself before that monstrosity can get into your head.
Refer to an SCP by it's designation. 'Monstrosity' is a subjective term.
SCP-3041 is a dark figure with wing-like appendages on the opposite side of its form.
Figure? So humanoid? If they're wings, call them wings.
SCP-3041 appears to be a being from another universe,
Why? What is the reason we pull this conclusion from nowhere?
possibly a far stronger version of SCP-106.
Mentioned this before, but this is extremely uninspired. ''My SCP is better than this SCP'' will always look like you're ripping another article off and try to compensate by sticking more danger to it.
SCP-3041 has the ability to teleport to any living being and envelope them in darkness.
The Foundation is a scientific organization. 'Enveloping in darkness' is vague at best, and overly dramatic hand-waving at worst.
What's truly evil
Again, clinical tone is lacking. 'Truly evil' sounds like a campfire story, not official documentation.
once it gets bored it decides to "explode" and releases a dark substance into the air.
And the Foundation has made no effort to find out what this is exactly?
If this substance touches you then after a few weeks you will start to develop dark patches on your body.
Same as above.
By then it is to late to save your soul and it would be better to sacrifice yourself for the good of mankind.
Souls aren't a scientific concept. Sacrifice to whom? What happens to mankind if you don't?
This is because if your body turns completely black then everyone within a 1000 mile radius will die instantly, including yourself.
So not mankind as much as the people in that area.
But the creature will start to get into your mind and force you to try and not kill yourself.
How do we know this? How does it 'get into your mind'?
It's mind control is
Its*
also strong enough to force anyone around an infected to not run away.
So what's the point of removing yourself then? The place where you end up will have casualties instead.
SCP-3014 is delighted by the thought of seeing the pain and misery of the infected individual struggling to kill themselves.
The Foundation magically knows this?
What is truly terrifying is that every SCP is scared of SCP-3014.
This is a dealbreaker right here. It's the equivalent of saying 'My SCP is yours times 10.'
Remember SCP-682? When introduced to SCP-3014 it started screaming in a loud high pitched noise and attempted to kill itself.
So far we have a completely unnecessary reference to both 106 and 682 and the reasoning mentioned above seems to apply here as well.
SCP-49? Attempted to inject its own poison into its body when seeing SCP-3014 for the first time.
And a third.
But the scariest act of all is
No, you can't TELL us that something is scary, that's not how good writing works. The scare factor is what the reader makes of it themselves, not because an author instructs them to.
that it isn't afraid of [ http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-729-j SCP-729-J]. That's right, it isn't afraid of the very devil itself and SCP-729-J attempted to kill itself by jumping into a fire.
And fourth.
Yep, the most terrifying SCP tried to kill ITSELF upon meeting SCP-3014.
A reiteration that sounds like an anecdote again.
If this doesn't prove that SCP-3014 will be the death of humanity then I fear humanity has no chance of surviving any longer.
You're using the first person here and conclude the article by saying: "Yes, this is indeed very dangerous''.
I'm usually more constructive and I also try to believe that every concept can be done well with good execution, but I'm sorry to say that this is a mess. Uninspired concept, riddled with tone-breaking reiterations that it's indeed very dangerous. On top of that, there are no less than four hamfisted references to other SCP's only to tell us that this SCP is more dangerous. I could go on, but I hope this will help you put this in perspective and help you in the future.
Please refer to the How To Write An SCP Guide on proper procedures for writing and posting articles.
I would also highly encourage you use our Sandbox for working on drafts and our feedback forum to get good advice on them.
Good luck.
SCP-3090 is a Class Safe SCP that is friendly to all members unless SCP-3090 is treated wrongly ex. Hurt on purpose or called names etc. SCP-3090 has the Ability to Tell if your lying or not or hurting someone on purpose [SEE DESC]. SCP-3090 is made of a shiny membrane [Almost like SCP-999], -27 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
First off, there is no containment procedures. Even if the process is just keeping it in a minimally contained room, there still needs to be something.
Second, why is it safe? So far all I can tell is that it seems friendly but is also sentient. Which means it could be dangerous. Show us why it can be trusted. You reference SCP-999, but 999 also does a good job of showing why it is safe and can be trusted. Yours basically says "it's the same as 999 but it squeaks"
Decent idea but if it's pretty much the same thing as 999 then what makes this unique?
Are these beings from the same dimension? Same weird science lab? Aliens from another planet? If they are the same species, then is this a new skip or just a copy of another?
—-
A few other things to consider:
Always run your submission through some kind of spelling/grammar checker. There are several mistakes that could have been caught such as capitalization in the middle of a sentence, usage of "we're" vs. "were" or "your" vs. "you're", and some run on sentences.
You also make some claims that aren't backed up with the text. The skip can "tell if your lying" but this isn't shown at all in the description or testing logs. How can we tell? The description also alludes to the skip being friendly only to people who treat it well: "…is friendly to all members unless SCP-3090 is treated wrongly…". What about people who don't treat it well? Does it attack? Does it just avoid them?
Always make sure that if you make some kind of claim that it is supported in the text somewhere.
Oh, boy, this one is a doozy.
First off: Formatting: It goes like this:
Item #
Object Class:
Special Containment Procedures:
Description:
You switched the last two. That'll be an easy fix.
Now on to the trickier stuff.
The object itself is pretty cliche and almost a blatant ripoff "BFF" of 999. The premise reminds me of this one decommissioned SCP (i think it was 809-D) that served as another SCP's significant other. This idea doesn't work, and is cliche and kind of cringy.
Now, onto tone: The tone here is almost painfully informal, and sounds like a preteen girl's diary. Some glaring examples:
"I've never seen such safe SCPs, I give permission for them to be with each other anytime."
I'm no expert, but this sounds like something that no O5 would say under any circumstances.
is friendly to all members unless SCP-3090 is treated wrongly ex. Hurt on purpose or called names etc. SCP-3090 has the Ability to Tell if your lying or not or hurting someone on purpose
This sounds very unclinical. A major brush up is in order. I'd suggest going over to How to Write an SCP and reading up on the "Writing Style" section.
Other odds and ends worth noting:
SCP-3090 is to be contained in a 5mx5mx5mx5m Glass Pen
So this thing is contained in a 4-dimensional containment pen? Holy crap, this may be more interesting than I thought. Use three dimensions in this case.
known to modern science. and is believed to be the same species of SCP-999 but this is not confirmed.
More bad tone. i'd put: "known to modern science. SCP-3090 is believed to be of the same species as SCP-999, however, this is not confirmed.
LCZ, EZ, HCZ, etc. are an SCP:CB and a ROBLOX SCP term. I'd suggest ditching this.
CONCLUSION:
My final conclusion is that this thing is a boring, uninteresting "BFF" character, something that has little to no place on this site. However, this conecpt can still be saved. I'd suggest, maybe, that this could be an article about 3090's species, and how they affect humanity because they drastically increase dopamine and other endorphins, so much so that they can turn humans into walking piles of Anti-depression? I don't know, that's just a suggestion, but there area number of ways this could be fleshed out. I'd suggest going deeper. Make it more interesting, make it more dynamic, give this thing a backstory. Then maybe, just maybe, you will succeed. Best of luck.
SCP-3242 is a tall creature this is brownish-grey It looks similar to a man except it is 9 ft. tall. It shows no muscle mass, hair or genitalia. If it sees any human of some sort it will get mad and start charging towards the human and it will rip them apart. The Foundation has no explanation why it does this, they think it reminds it of someone, or something, -22 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Unfortunately not even these guys can make Witches of Hemwick challenging.
All kidding aside, wow is this article pretty similar to the Bloodborne Mad Ones. I think it's a coincidence, but still, jeez.
Also, we have a format for a reason.
Imperial measurements, non-clinical tone, poor explaining of what the object is (it looks similar to a man aye? So it's bigfoot…Which we've already got on the site).
Overall, this feels like you wrote it up in a minute and cold-posted it to the site. -1.
SCP-3604 is a manifestational entity of a sphere, able to float at will. SCP-3604 can seemingly change into other shapes, such as a triangle, square, or a rectangle, Subject seems to have no main form, and is able to communicate with telepathy. When a human is emotional to SCP-3604, SCP-3604 will not do anything for except, when it's aggressive, will vocalize sounds that range from high pitched screeching, to noises that are designed to damage any hearing within a 10-mile radius, -18 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I'll be honest, I really don't understand this SCP. The whole thing is a little basic, it's pretty short and underdeveloped.
" a television with ██████ channels to keep SCP-3604 entertained."
First of all, it doesn't really make sense to censor the amount of channels 3604 gets to watch. Second, if you've written a numerical value in there, that's hundreds of times more than the amount of channels that exist on Earth. Third, it doesn't really make sense to give 3604 a television in its containment chamber; it doesn't appear to have eyes.
The entire article raises questions such as these. I think the most confusing thing is the nature of 3604 itself - I'm not entirely sure what it IS. What does "when a human is emotional to it" mean? If it's emitting a sound loud enough to damage hearing of around a 10 kilometer radius why is it only Euclid?
The censoring in this is also over-the-top; we don't need to censor what the thing is interested in talking about. Overall, I would suggest either fleshing this out to something interesting or starting over entirely. It's not really interesting as it is, and isn't really a cohesive idea either.
SCP-3171 is a phenomena that can take place in any bathroom. SCP-3171 changes any bathroom it is inhibiting into a standard bathroom similar to those that are found in usual houses. This bathroom is known as SCP-3171-A None of the appliances in the bathroom appear to hold anomalous effects, rather, the bathroom itself, -17 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
If I were you, author, I wouldn't tag articles right away because people usually tag them incompletely as you have done here. If you can only think of these two tags, wipe the tags and let the tagging team do it. (Crayne explains this more eloquently in the comment above.)
So is it really Safe? You haven't mentioned any "range of effects" or anything of the like, which suggests to me that this phenomenon could occur anywhere in the world. That sounds like a Euclid to me, at least.
And following on from that, the Special Containment Procedures don't actually contain anything. Does it only happen in that one Site? If not, the phenomenon is not contained. I don't know how they would contain it, but the current procedures are inadequate. Perhaps they would wait for it to inhabit a Site bathroom and then leave the door open so that it can't demanifest?
-1 for now, but I think if you explain the anomalous effects and their limits more carefully and put the Special Containment Procedures through SCP-914 on the "Fine" setting, this could be a competent article.
SCP-3131 is a malevolent entity from the first dimension. SCP-3131 is a sapient "line", imperceptible even to advanced technology. SCP-3131 cannot exist in the third dimension without a host, whom it physically connects itself to. The host, known then as SCP-3131-1, requires an emotional connection to SCP-3131 in order for it to attach itself to them, -16 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
First of all, it's obviously incomplete - there are SCP-XXXXs in the text. Second, there are numerous typos (Homo sapien, for example). Third, the sentences are long, convoluted and rambling. And, well, it's… a psychic thing that kills things? It's not very interesting.
-1
You put a lot of effort into this and have a good concept, but I think the downfall of this write up wasnt the concept or the scp but the length. Way too long. And also a little cluttered, like the experiments on the scp part came right after the interview then we had another interview after that, lots of jumping around. You have potential so keep writing and don't stop! (But do try and shorten stuff for brevity and constant reader engagement)
SCP-3360 resembles that of a typical horseshoe magnet, weighing no more than 850.368 grams. Notable anomalous characteristics of SCP-3360 is its dark glossy coat and immeasurable magnetic flux that can strongly repel (but not attract) any and all kinds of metals in all shapes and sizes, SCP-3360's magnetic strength is to be recorded after further testing, -13 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Downvote for tone, and weak execution (specifically, your pacing is really weak. YOu've got tons of sections, but not much content).
One thing I'd like to point out though, measuring an object to the microgram is…improbable. Just use grams going forward, if it's less than 1 kg.
SCP-3014 is a highly-mobile phenomenon of mechanical vibrations5 acting in a localized spherical-area with a radius estimated to be 10m. SCP-3014 is naturally invisible and can only be detected through sound or with Schlieren photography. SCP-3014 can not be detected by electronic equipment designed to detect sound, why this phenomenon is not detectable by certain electronic equipment is still in question, -12 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
The core idea (addictive sound in a set volume) has potential, but the execution is weak. Having described the idea, the rest of the skip wanders without adding anything interesting or surprising. There are also a number of instances of weak tone ("bliss", "music 2.0", "jurry-rigged").
SCP-3079-1 through SCP-3079-9 are discs from the popular home workout DVD, Insanity. Visual appearance of SCP-3079 is identical to standard Insanity discs. Video is also identical to actual Insanity discs, however after viewing, multiple symptoms of disease are prevalent anywhere from two hours to ten days of a viewing, -12 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I see a few problems with this SCP.
While the actual idea of your article is humorus and entertaining, there are things you should consider to fix it.
Maybe try giving a more in depth summary of what the SCP item actually does, rather than just explaining the diseases that manifest.
Try giving a connection between the diseases and the actual video itself. This could help authenticate your SCP article further.
Your Containment Procedures are extremely rough, and should be refined a lot more. How you refine them is up to you.
There are a few grammatical errors, and your text could be simplified much more in order to give a more interesting read.
-1
SCP-2744 is an anomalous entity that creates and maintains accounts on a variety of video-sharing websites. Invariably, accounts created by SCP-2744 lack any sort of common identifying features. Usernames consist of apparently meaningless characters, ex. 'b8AZn2og[0w', '*271nZΩe0', and '████████████', -10 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I'm not quite sure exactly what's going on with this at all.
Other than being random videos of ordinary things, I don't quite understand the danger in having the videos uncontained, because I can't seem to comprehend any sort of consequence from a Crypsis event happening.
Maybe I'm missing something, but the uncontained example doesn't give me any indication that reality or perception was changed in any way. I understand thatsomething happened, but not in a way that makes the rest of the article click in an "oh shit," sort of way.
I also don't understand why the interviewed subjects -B designation would be black-boxed.
Non-hostile anomalous behavior is to be monitored, but not immediately considered 'hostile'.
This is vague and I don't know what this means.
and may result in [DATA EXPUNGED].
I'm not buying the use of expungement here.
When SCP-2744-A undergoes a Crypsis Event, it ceases to exist, leaving no trace that it was uploaded, but recordings remain unaffected, remaining the only direct way to discern the previous definition of an altered SCP-2744-A focus.
This sentence is overwrought and should be separated into two sentences.
The camera view moves closer to the subject, at which point it extends one of its appendages and [DATA EXPUNGED].
This feels like it's just removing something interesting. Or maybe its only interesting because it was removed. Either way, it's a little cheap.
Content: [DATA EXPUNGED]
I don't see the purpose of this entire entry.
Overall, you have the beginnings of "something is weird, something is wrong", but none of the logs or the incident progress this beginning in any way.
The main problem with this piece is its inarticulacy. It took me more time and effort than I'd like to make sense of the basic information about this thing, and there didn't seem to be reason why that should be. I don't think the idea is necessarily bad, but I feel like this needs a redraft since it's not conveying its information clearly.
I think there's a nugget of niftyness buried in here, but the writing just isn't conveying what the anomalous effect is very clearly. If I've got it correct,
a) The videos (SCP-2744-A) depict mundane objects, with commentary by SCP-2744 implying that their normal functioning and behavior is anomalous
b) Those who view the videos begin perceiving the "focus" of the video in the same way (i.e. doors are perceived as anomalous)
c) After an instance of SCP-2744-A is viewed enough times, a 2744-A-Crypsis event occurs, during which 1) all evidence of the SCP-2744-A instance disappears, and 2) reality changes such that the depicted behaviors of the "focus" are in fact anomalous.
d) The only evidence of c) is the memories of those people who are immune to the initial effect of the video, who are designated SCP-2744-B, and who remember the pre-Crypsis behavior of the video's focus.
As presented, most of the videos basically fail to convey the effect very well. The "Doors" and "Bookshelves" ones do the best job, as they depict the perception of a video when it has been, respectively, contained (so the commentary by the videographer about the door's behavior seems nonsensical), and allowed to undergo a Crypsis event (with the implication that bookcases behaved significantly differently prior to the disappearance of the described video).
One spin on it this that could be interesting is if there were hints in the videos they were documentation for, or being monitored by, an SCP-type operation run from an alternate facet of our reality, and the Crypsis events are an existential containtment operation…
This feels disjointed — it starts off strong, I like that effect, but everything about the crypsis events just fails to interest me — other SCPs address the "reality changed and nobody remembers" concept a lot more satisfyingly. I recommend keeping the setup and taking this in a very different direction.
Also, too much of the logs go about subverting the premise you should be trying to reinforce. It's light on "straight" examples of the anomalous effect, and also on descriptions of how people actually behaved differently after viewing.
SCP-3029 is a bowl that contains approximately 2 cups of borscht. The bowl SCP-3029 is contained in has approximately thirty-two scratches on it. SCP-3029 shows no chemical irregularities and appears to be an ordinary bowl of borscht soup. However, SCP-3029 evaporates and turns into a gas at 70 degrees Fahrenheit, and turns solid at only 40 degrees Fahrenheit. When SCP-3029 is consumed anomalous effects begin to manifest. One to two hours after consuming SCP-3029 subjects will begin to have mild hallucinations of which the most common is a black silhouette of a man wearing a trench coat, however, this can vary as cases of a black silhouette with large claws have also been reported. This is accompanied by emotional distress in subjects and a lack of trust in anyone, with subjects stating that they are being tricked or are being led to their death.
Deleted at -11 and three votes.
In its present state, SCP-3127 is a small plush doll displaying similarities to a Caucasian human female of about 12 years of age, wearing a pink and black dress, with hair consisting of two long blonde pigtails, with pink ribbons wrapped around them, as well as a black bow at the base of each pigtail. SCP-3127 randomly changes its appearance about one time around the month of July.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-3043 is an abandoned office building located in ███████. The building has been deemed SCP-3043-1. SCP-3043-1 seems to disobey the laws of gravity, allowing visitors to place items on walls and ceilings with ease. However, once an individual enters SCP-3043-1, it will begin to animate, fluctuating in size, shape, color and detail. SCP-3043-2, a shadowy human figure with no features other than three glowing yellow eyes. SCP-3043-2 is extremely hostile, assaulting visitors until their retreat or death. SCP-3043-2 only manifests approximately 15-60 minutes after entry of a living human.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Author:
You've got two primary weaknesses in this:
1) Lack of depth. This article is very short, and provides little to nothing in terms of story. You've got a generally interesting idea, with a building with localized gravity, but do basically nothing with it.
2) Lack of focus. You have a half dozen things going on in this article, when I feel it could be served with just one. Localized gravity within an office building can work. You just need to come up with either a why, or a how, or something meaty for readers to sink their teeth in to.
Some specific highlights:
SCP-3043-1 seems to disobey the laws of gravity, allowing visitors to place items on walls and ceilings with ease.
Scientists don't say things "seem" to be. They describe them as what they are.
SCP-3043-2, a shadowy human figure with no features other than three glowing yellow eyes. SCP-3043-2 is extremely hostile, assaulting visitors until their retreat or death. SCP-3043-2 only manifests approximately 15-60 minutes after entry of a living human.
This doesn't really add anything to the story, and just comes off as generic scary monster.
Overall, the idea of the office building is interesting, if you significantly expand it.
SCP-3164 is a World War Two era Soviet T-34 tank, with numerous visual references to Communist leadership and ideology. SCP-3164 was found in [REDACTED], Ukraine. SCP-3164 is void of all production numbers or manufacturing labels, with the exception of the name “Soviet Fire” carved into the turret.
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
SCP-3103 is an anomalous astronomical void located in the local galactic cluster. SCP-3103 manifests as entirely empty space, ranging approximately four thousand five hundred ninety nine (4599) parsecs in diameter. SCP-3103 is extremely unstable, composed of sub-atomic particles similar to [REDACTED], but 35 times stronger. SCP-3103 is known to expand at an increasingly rapid pace, growing 186,282 kilometers per hour.
Deleted at -16 and three deletion votes.
CP-3444 is a black-grey gas of indefinite shape, with a color slightly darker then that of smoke. When inhaled, the collective of gas will rush into the body of whoever inhales it, sending them into a 20-24 hour period of unconsciousness. Once the subject awakes from the unconscious state, they will assume the personality of SCP-3444-1. They will begin speaking a language similar to that of [DATA EXPUNGED], however it is a variation that is not understandable by translators. At the time of writing, it is currently unknown the goal of SCP-3444-1. However, once SCP-3444 is "finished" with it's host, it will [DATA EXPUNGED] the host's body, leaving the previous host of SCP-3444 [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-3444 alone is not sentient, but SCP-3444-1 carries out the functions of a normal human, often reacting confused to new technology. SCP-3444-1 reacted [DATA EXPUNGED] to it's containment when it was first contained on ██ / ██ / ████, but has adapted since then. SCP-3444-1's behavior includes staring at the wall for hours on end, yelling at nothing, and acting fearful, often going to the lengths of [DATA EXPUNGED].
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
SCP-3102 is a Brownish-Blue Colored Diary book. If a human picks up SCP-3102, The human will then feel the urge stab themselves with the lock key of the book. Then the book feeds off of the blood coming from the human and then the human will shrivel up and die.
Deleted at -27 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
There isn't enough here. It's a diary that kills people when they pick it up via a compulsive effect. It falls into a lot of old cliches that are pretty well on their way out, and does it in less that 100 words.
We need a lot more to grab us, to get us psychologically or emotionally invested in the object, its effect, or its story. To really keep a bunch of horror/speculative fiction super-fans engaged, you have to be a cut above.
SCP-3085 is to be kept with D-3085 at all time, any violates to this will result in arrest or death. A Specially made Class-D cell is to be made prior to the arrival of
D-3085. D-3085 is to be tested and used for scp testing on a regular basis.
Deleted at -35 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
This article is out of proper format. That alone is enough for a downvote, and it demonstrates a lack of rigor in the attempt.
Second, it's a magical invulnerability orb that's frostbite cold but feels warm to the touch? That's not how temperature works, they're very tightly linked. If there's some perceptual craziness going on, you should specify that.
Also, it doesn't make any sense that it took the Foundation so long to figure out such a simple effect, or that it took almost 100 attempts for the best doctors and scientists in the world to successfully implant this thing.
And a 2 month old baby? Nah. The Foundation might be cold, but I can't justify them being down with baby murder unless something really drastic is going on.
The concept doesn't pass the sniff test. Sorry.
Scp 2, an article in reference to a quirk of the r/scp bot.
Deleted at -20 and three votes.
scp.xxxx.audiolog.mp3, an incomplete audio log transcript, summarily deleted for being unfinished work, with Zyn and ProcyonLotor witnessing.
SCP-3535, The Candyman, self-deletion by me.
SCP-3095, failed self-delete, summarily deleted. Lily witnessed.
SCP Wiki Administrator | Earth: We're all in this together.
SCP-3116 appears to be a peanut shaped stress ball made out of what seems to be foam measuring: 9.525 cm in length, 5.08 cm width at the larger sections, and 3.175 cm width at the smaller middle. SCP-3116 is activated by squeezing it like a stress ball. SCP-3116 rapidly lowers the stress of the user while creating an electromagnetic pulse called SCP-3116-1, -22 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Firstly, I think this should be a Safe class item. All they need to do not squeeze it and the electromagnetic pulse won't be emitted.
SCP-3116 lowers the stress rapidly of the user
The structure is incorrect, it should be: "SCP-3116 will rapidly lower the stress levels of the user"
minuets
minutes*
it is based only on the stress level of the user
You already said this at the beginning of the description, so this is redundant.
I know that SCP-3116 appears to be Safe, but I'm sure that we can all agree that electricity is very important to containing many SCP here.
To me, this seems pretty casual for a researcher to say. What I think it should be like is:
"Though SCP-3116 appears to be Safe, I don't need to remind you all that electricity is a necessity for the containment procedures of other items."
Keeping the clinical tone is important, even when it comes to a direct quote from Foundation personnel.
Overall, I don't find this skip to be very interesting. There's no hook to draw the reader in, nothing that makes them feel invested in the article.
-1
Hiya, author. There are quite a few things about this skip that don't work for me. I've given some more detailed feedback in the collapsible below, but here are some general points:
Pedantry
Euclid
As EclipseOperator said, if you can shove it in a locked box and it does nothing, it's as Safe (as opposed to safe) as anything can get, really.
SCP-3116 must not be accessible without level 2 clearance, but should be accessible without requiring power to nearby mechanisms and electronics.
This sorta implies it's okay for supervisors to just walk in and start playing with it?
preferably locked
I think the Foundation can afford to buy a few more standard safe-class storage lockers/
No vital electronics should be within ██████ of SCP-3116.
Don't redact containment procedures! If you're not cleared to know the distance, why would you be cleared to read the document in the first place?
SCP-3116 appears to be a peanut shaped stress ball made out of what seems to be foam measuring: 9.525 cm in length, 5.08 cm width at the larger sections, and 3.175 cm width at the smaller middle.
'Appears to be' implies it's actually something else masquerading as a stress ball - I wouldn't use it unless you're trying to develop that further. Measurements seem overly precise and should be in prose.
electromagnetic pulse called SCP-3116-1
Personal preference here - if the pulse's creation is anomalous, but not the actual pulse itself (i.e. it acts according to the normal laws of physics) it shouldn't have its own sub-designation.
Tests have shown that SCP-3116-1 is not hampered by any obstacles and it is based only on the stress level of the user and the radius of SCP-3116.
Could we see some of those tests? Well-written and creative test logs can provide the 'wtf factor' that can make an good article
Reference: So far SCP-3116-1 has been recorded to have shutdown: 16 soldering irons, 3 server computers, 2 personal computers, 5 watches, 7 cellphones, 1 street light, 1 small heater, 1 power supply, 1 electric cigarette lighter, 5 work station light, 1 small radio, 2 large generators, 1 smaller generator, and 15 simple battery powered lights for testing purposes. SCP-3116 has indirectly shutdown various other machinery after shutting down multiple generators.
In-universe, who cares exactly how many things this has effected? Out of universe, I certainly don't.
Recovery Report
This seems very by-the-numbers, particularly with the redaction. It seems to be here because you thought a log should be there, but it doesn't add anything new to the article.
I know that SCP-3116 appears to be Safe, but I'm sure that we can all agree that electricity is very important to containing many SCP here. Therefore, in order to insure it doesn't end up in the wrong hands, it should be classified as Euclid in order to protect against containment breaches and help prevent problems from arising. Also, please don't use SCP-3116 for recreational purposes.
This doctor sounds like he's talking to a group of kids. He's in charge, and he should have an air of authority this lacks. Also, Foundation personnel aren't idiots - they shouldn't need telling not to play with the anomalies.
Next time, it's probably worth trying to get some more feedback before you post, either from the chat or the forums. I'll admit it can be a pain to get sometimes, but having eyes on a draft before it's posted is a great way to pick up the problems before it hits the mainpage, where people will judge it as a finished work.
No vital electronics should be within ██████ of SCP-3116.
This alone made me downvote. Having something hidden in the containment procedures is just not a good idea.
Think about it;
You've just been assigned to this SCP and been given this document. It tells you that no vital electronics should be within ██████ of SCP-3116. You're confused, "why didn't they tell me the distance?" and don't know how far away to keep electronics. You take a wild guess and put some super valuable electronic equipment (like a massive server that controls all of the containment cells in the site) within what seems like a reasonable distance. SCP-3116's effect activates and shuts it down. This spirals into a full on massive containment breach. The whole world explodes. All because you weren't told how far away to keep electronics.
If you can't figure out why this is a bad idea from my little example, then I woe for anyone who'd be assigned to anything you wrote (yes, I'm scared for fictional characters, that's how not gud it is to hide something in the containment procedures).
EDIT: This.
Therefore, in order to insure it doesn't end up in the wrong hands, it should be classified as Euclid in order to protect against containment breaches and help prevent problems from arising.
Have you read SCP-1025? It shows that just because something might end up in the wrong hands, doesn't mean it's that it's instantly a Euclid/Keter. Something having the potential to do something bad if it ends up in the wrong hands should have no effect on the classification of the object. I'd downvote again for this, but you can only downvote a piece once.
SCP-3044 Is a 1 foot tall candlestick that has been warped due to extreme heat; the candlestick is now bent in the exact center of the stick, and the upper half now leans slightly diagonal. Scorch marks covering the surface of the candle. From the weight and sound generated when hit, It has been surmised that the metal making up SCP-3044 is copper, -20 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Right off the bat, make sure that "SCP" is capitalized in the title and that the article name doesn't appear on the page itself. It should just read "SCP-3044" and not "SCP-3044: Warped Candlestick"
Second, I like the idea for this scip but it doesn't seem to be written with a clinical tone. For example:
Scorch marks covering the surface of the candle.
From the weight and sound generated when hit, It has been surmised that the metal making up SCP-3044 is copper.
its’
Warping will end once the candle has completely burnt out.
All objects are affected by SCP-3044, including biological substances.
During the final phase, the subjects began screaming as their biology was affected by the candle.
The last test on SCP-3044 was on █████
This one is totally your call, but for the addendum, I feel like that would be a good opportunity to throw some backstory and intrigue into the text. Maybe the candle was found in a suspiciously warped building. Maybe used by some ancient cult that worshiped a warped god. As is, its just kind of bland and doesn't add much to the story.
As is, this is a -1 for me but it has a lot of potential!
SCP-3177 is a Société BIC S.A Number 2 Mechanical Pencil. It's lead size is 0.7 millimeters and has a Grip. Externally, SCP-3177 has no anomalies. However, internally, the mechanisms inside the object appear to be missing. Only one 0.7 millimeter piece of lead is contained inside. A typical Pencil of similar design is able to have the tip of the pencil and the eraser be removed, -16 and three staff votes.
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Fundamentally, there are two major flaws with this piece:
There are two options for proceeding. You can either ditch this concept entirely (which I would strongly suggest, as I believe your efforts would be better suited to plotting a story-based SCP) or you can rework the basic concept of bringing things to life with an emphasis on more engaging test logs.
Whenever SCP-3081 is viewed in a tranquil state, SCP-3081 is shown to glimmer in between male and female. SCP-3081 is of a German ancestry, and has been heard to speak German at times. It is believed SCP-3081 received these anomalous powers at some times in their mid-life. SCP-3081 refuses to identify their genuine name, but instead says to be referred to as “Mimico.”, -13 and three staff votes.
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This has major clinical tone problems right from the start, with things like "gleaming plastic" and "sparked out." You have to find and use the technical or at least formal terms for things for this to be taken seriously. There's also times when it feels excessively personal (using its name) or the action isn't reported well. For an example of that, faking a show to display its abilities is a good opportunity for storytelling and characterization in something like a log, but just feels out of place in the description.
On to more important stuff. You get multiple paragraphs into the description before we get a basic description of what this thing is. If you don't start with that, we won't be able to follow the article.
As for the object itself… It's a mimic, which isn't exactly a new idea. The description of what it does to or with clothing was hard to follow, and shorting out tracking devices and teleporting things to an unknown location is also a really generic idea by itself. The twist with the game piece is based on the fact that they gave it a board game in the first place, which feels pretty contrived here.
It's just a really basic idea, and doesn't do enough to stand out. -1
Based on the into to the description, I'm going to go ahead and assume that this Skip looks like a German shepherd, since the description doesn't really describe it that much at all.
Otherwise, this just reads as an x-men Skip, with the Foundation being far too relaxed on it. -1
Containment specifies 'gleaming plastic' coating for the furniture, but I don't find anything in the description to warrant it.
SCP-3047 is a Caucasian male of unknown origin covered in micro-script tattoos containing the entirety of the Oxford English Dictionary as of ████. Its true age, identity and history is unknown, although according to SCP-3047-1 its name is ███████ ████ of ██████ ████, placing its age at ██. Due to the nature of SCP-3047 this information is unreliable, -11 and three staff votes.
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A few too many test logs, I feel. And for a level 4 clearance, I don't really think you need a memetic kill. That's more an O5 thing. Why even is it level 4 access?
Feels a bit sueish at times, and it would be helpful to link to the SCPs it was crosstested with.
SCP-3541 consists of a collection of albino tapeworms. The worms each have red stripes down one side of their body (henceforth known as SCP-3541-A). Their skin is approximately 257oF. When organic material comes into contact with any instance of SCP-3541 they suffer third degree burns on the contacted region. In the burn, it has been discovered, -16 and three staff votes.
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They must be liquidized in a thin layer of liquid nitrogen at all times.
That word means "to make liquid", when the author apparently meant "keep covered in liquid". Which they literally said the sentence prior, making this one uneccessary.
Then theres…
If contacted directly, contaminated person must be sprayed with liquid nitrogen to negate any effects from SCP-3541
Which not only has poor grammar (should be "affected person" not "contaminated person"), but would leave major frostbite on said person (as liquid nitrogen has a temperature of at least -195.79°C), if not kill them outright.
Then theres…
Their skin is approximately 257oF.
Which, again, has grammar and tone issues ("SCP-XXXX instances have a skin temperature of about 257°F" is better), and also uses imperial measurements instead of metric, a big no-no.
There's more like that, too.
SCP-3541 is to be put into a fishing worm container with liquid nitrogen covering all the sides.
*A fishing worm container? You know a lot of fishing worm containers are plastic, right? Why a fishing worm container? Why not just… A metal box?
burns on contacted region
capable substance to be able remove the burns
While red stripes burn contacted skin, blue stripes freezes
To restore the skin, it must be thrust into molten iron for exactly 15 seconds.
to be due to how the blue stripes also have a thin layer of a lubricative substance preventing the iron from sticking and dropping the skin to such a low temperature, the heat has no effect on it.
called ████ ████████
from a mysterious man
The Foundation took it to try to see what caused the burns.
when doing so seems to kill the host from the pain.
they [REDACTED] through the
Overall, they are just worms with weird temprature physics and a "touch and see" test which doesn't add much. What did the foundation expect to happen if somebody touched superheated worms that are hot enough to cause severe burns? Why would they test that? If they wanted to know what caused a guy severe burns wouldn't it be the super hot worms in the container? Who's this mysterious man? Why were these things in a pet shop? Try answering these questions and improving the weird physics of the article. Too many loose ends, and not much meat on the object itself leads me to a -1
Hope I helped! <3
SCP-3990 is a 1.8 meter cube of a highly resilient mahogany-like material. Each side of SCP-3990 are etched with a black symbol of unknown culture. SCP-3990 is covered in 4 170-cm long openings resembling slash marks. SCP-3990's entire mass expands and contracts at approximately 2.8 second intervals in an action similar to breathing, implying some form of life, -14 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Alright, let's crack this thing open.
First thing that springs to mind is that the circumference of the cell doesn't tell me much. A sphere? a cylinder? Any reason there should be no corners? Also, the size of your area of effect seems to be big for bigness's sake.
Looking at the description, this seems about right; active radius of only 12 m. No need to devote so much floorspace to this object. A 2-3m buffer around the active zone would be plenty.
I'm also a little disappointed in the superficial nature of the object. A thing that conjures "your worst fear" and either kills you if you fight it or cures you of it if you face it. The aspect of the object is vaguely menacing without getting specific and strikes me as a kind of stereotypical. I also don't agree with designating the target of the effect as a -2 and the manifest entity as -3. Probably would stick with "target" or "subject" and then designate the entity as a "-1".
Reading the material in the collapsible, I see how the big containment is necessary in context, but the entities you list are a little… Flat. It's flat. This isn't how fear really works in humans outside the context of specific phobias. Most of us are more afraid of getting cancer, or losing a loved one in a car crash, or drugs, or diseases, or a destabilized political climate, or of dying alone and unloved with no accomplishments and a ton of regret. Phobias are like a starting point for fear, not the whole ball of wax.
Lastly, we come to the interview log. The dialogue here doesn't strike me as natural, and by the end of reading -B's diatribe, I can't help but expect "My cure is most effective" or some other in-universe cliche. It doesn't add anything to the article in my opinion and can be mostly done away with.
Overall, I'm underwhelmed. It looks like you put a bit of effort and creativity into the monsters, which is kinda nice, but they aren't unique enough to let the thing stand on their shoulders alone.
SCP-3084 The stair way from Harry Potter, scp-3084 is a stairway with a room under it.It’s entrance is a oak wood door.Located in a [INFORMATION EXPNGED]with no building any where around it. If entered the door will shut behind the victim and teleport them to a different dimension known as SCP-3084-1.SCP-3084-1 Is a what is know to be a infinite room full of SCP-3084, summarily deleted at -10 with Joreth witnessing.
SCP-3048 has the appearance of a 12 year old child wearing a jesters outift and a pure white smiling mask. The SCP is a safe class as they are harmless unless provoked enough. SCP-3048 was obtained by Agent [REDACTED] on ##/##/##. SCP-3048 was found wandering Washington DC, handing out strange items to random people. Three of the presumed 20 objects have been captured and deemed SCP-0348-1,2, and 3, summarily deleted at -6 with Sirens witnessing, as it was an exact copy of another page recently posted.
