This was not done badly, but it's been done so often.
Date: 19 Mar 2010 00:40
Number of posts: 62
RSS: New posts
I can't help but feel this would be creepier if the tunnels were more cramped. Currently it sounds like there's plenty of head room, as well as plenty of room to turn around. This makes the possibility of escape more plausible, and the idea of exploration seem much safer.
If the inside dimensions of the tunner were smaller - say, just enough for a person to crawl through - it would really play up the claustrophobia angle that seems to be the primary fear element at work here. Particularly if the passage is too small to turn around in, forcing anyone inside to either back out slowly or search for a "loop" in the maze to double back. Imagine crawling into this thing, hearing some horrible screaming up ahead, and having to keep moving towards the sound because there's no going back otherwise.
It might help if there's the suggestion that interference or mysterious hardware failure makes unmanned robotic exploration of the place impossible… that would add to the plausibility of the expedition reports, for one. I think there's enough potential here to distinguish from other portal-to-a-creepy-tunnel SCPs we have, but in its current state it just isn't that interesting, or nearly as scary as it could be.
Anyone else think that image looks like a screenshot of the old maze screensaver from windows 95?
I … I don't even wanna say what I thought the image looked like, at first. :x
Agree with Yoric, plus, there are several areas where the writing seems unnecessarily subjective, such as describing it as an alarming disparity, etc…
Plus, yeah, been done a lot of times before.
Maybe the 'thing what leads to a space much larger then it is outside' needs to go in the big list of SCP cliches.
But please, make sure to use "than" and not "then" if/when it does.
I like this, mainly for the potential it has for some decidedly unsettling test logs. I agree to a certain extent with tombones that making the tunnels more like crawlspaces would increase the creepy-factor, but that would also limit the possibilities for 'interesting' incidents. Speaking of test logs, I'd happily collaborate on one if you run out of ideas!
I'd favor taking about a third of the expungement in the earlier test logs / materials and elaborating in its place. To be clear, I love the test logs, but the expunging is far too predictable, and screams "cop-out" at points.
You might want to use SCP-093 as an example, though I believe some think it divulged a bit too much.