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Summary deletions result for:
May I ask why 42 was closed? It was only at 13 pages.
All these threads have been locked at around 12 - 14 pages.
I thought it went on longer than that, but ok. Works for me.
SCP-2654 is a 35mm Leica M-3 film camera manufactured in the mid-1950s. Operation of SCP-2654 is nearly identical to that of a normal film camera, except that the photograph produced will show two ghostly figures, known as SCP-2654-1 and SCP-2654-2, in the photograph, regardless of whether or not the figures would logically fit into the area they are pictured in. -17, 3 staff votes.
Photographs produced by SCP-2654 are to be kept in security locker S-A-24 but can be studied at researchers' leisure.
"leisure" feels like the wrong word here. Maybe something like "at the request of researchers"?
Operation of SCP-2654 is nearly identical to that of a normal film camera, except that the photograph produced will show two ghostly figures
"ghostly" isn't exactly a clinical term.
The night after viewing the developed film, SCP-2654-A will experience a dream in which it is being pursued by SCP-2654-1
What if the photographer doesn't look at the picture?
SCP-2654-A will be able to notice SCP-2654-1 watching it from a distance, or from behind corners, with increasing frequency
Is notice the right verb? Or are these more like hallucinations.
Photographed: hallway ██ at site ██. SCP-2654-1 is shown hanged in the left foreground, SCP-2654-2 is shown partially obscured by a support pillar in background.
Result: Subject D-9134 is strangulated while asleep by SCP-2654-1.
Perhaps this is a nitpick, but hanging and strangulation are not the same thing.
Photographed: Basic containment locker ██████ at site ██. SCP-2654-1 is shown lying against back wall, having been strangulated. SCP-2654-2 is standing over SCP-2654-1.
Result: Subject D-9135 is stabbed repeatedly by SCP-2654-1, and bleeds out 1.3 hours later.
These are entirely separate actions all together. I think you may have misworded your description.
SCP-2654 is not to be taken within 50 meters of SCP-895 without O5’s approval. Operation of SCP-2654 within 50 meters of SCP-895 requires further O5 approval.
Aside from both of these objects being recordings that induce hallucination, what connection is there between the two that justifies this crosslink?
Author, ultimately this article is a fairly uninteresting concept, with little done to make it interesting or unique. There isn't really any narrative or backstory to keep a reader engaged, and it reads like a relatively boring and cliched magical object.
Also: Please source your image if it is compliant with our CC license. If it is not compliant, please remove it.
SCP-2651 is a young male teen who can switch into a adult male who is not very understood on what he is able to do. SCP-2651-1 is a young male teen who doesn't show anomalous activity himself and is 163 cm in height. It is a normal humanoid being in this stage, until it "taps into his imagination," to which it then transforms into SCP-2651-2. -19, 3 staff votes.
Very well, so the foundation has a reality bender that can do anything he wishes?
SCP-2651 is a young male teen who can switch into a adult male who is not very understood on what he is able to do.
First, check your grammar, second, the "who is not very understood on what he is able to do" doesn't belong in a foundation document. It sets the tone off, and the person who wrote the report would at least try to describe his abilities.
to which it then transforms into SCP-2651-2.
it cannot do anything SCP-2651-1 does not want to do
So -2 can't do anything unless it's with -1, but -1 transforms into -2? How does that work?
This article looks like a generic dude with abilities, except he's two. Not very interesting without some entertaining addendum or a twist.
Next time, get feedback before posting your article here. Be sure to write the SCP in the SCP sandbox and show that to various people around the site. Good luck with writing a new, better story.
SCP-2879 is a board game of operation that, instead of having the usual components it has plastic pieces resembling that of human organs including the heart, lungs, liver, pancreas, etc. SCP-2879s anomalous affects are activated when the game is played. If one of the organs are removed, the corresponding organ will vanish completely from the person playing. The body will continue to function as normal. -18, 3 staff votes.
SCP-015-J is a 6x3m billboard sign with the text "Speeding. What's your excuse?" on it, along with text written in marker saying "HELPING YOU BASTARDS PAY FOR YOUR DONUTS", with a happy face symbol on it.
Deleted at -21, 3 staff votes.
SCP-2672 is a large bipedal creature that measures 4.1m, however studies have found that others can reach heights typically 3.8m to 4.7m. Its weight is not proportional to its body, weighing at 153lbs. SCP-2672's appearance resembles that of multiple creatures from Earth. -18, 3 staff votes
Despite a few veins of interesting ideas running here and there, the overall feel of the article leaves much to be desired in the way of clinical tone. There also seems to be a lack of an overall focus in the anomalous 'properties', as well as questionable descriptions.
SCP-2684 is a metallic humanoid shell made of titanium steel. Standing 250 cm tall and weighting 500 kg heavy. It resembles an armor of a knight back in the medieval ages. The entity appears to have gold decoration, supposedly for viewing purposes and to look shinier. -13, 3 staff votes.
This is a highly informal article. "Tip top shape"? "Needed medical attention quick"? "From back in the medieval times"? Please rewrite slang or informal sections of the article to make them more clinical.
The idea isn't bad, it's just a little underwhelming. A living suit of armor that attacks people - okay? Is there a hook that I missed?
Also we need image sources and licensing. If they aren't yours, you need to cite the permission that you acquired.
That first image is both low-quality and a very obvious photoshop. A good photo won't save a bad article, but a bad photo will sink a good article; keep that in mind.
Additionally… you note that the crown is SCP-2684-2 in the first image, and show a photo of a sword being labeled as SCP-2684-2 as well. Which is -2?
SCP-2871 is a door that is 2.5m in height, and 1m in width. Entering the door will lead to an endless hallway with decorated carpets for flooring, along with decorated walls, however the flooring and walls appear to have dust, graffiti, and rust on them, and the decorated wallpaper for the wall is torn up. -18, 3 staff votes.
This is just a very generic SCP. It's a door that leads to somewhere else, and through the door is a strange humanoid who kills people.
In regards to the concept itself, it's just very basic and fairly uninteresting. This reads like a re-tread of 087, and not in a good way. There is some potential here, but it's buried very far down. For example, what is SCP-2871-1 like? Make them a character. The SCP wiki is all about stories, and that includes the SCPs themselves. If you look at any recent SCP that has done well, you'll see that they tell stories through the constraints of the SCP format. So my question to you, is how can you tell a story through this concept.
Aside from the concept, there are several other issues present. I'll touch on them briefly.
Object Class: Safe Euclid
There's no reason for this to be Euclid. Object class is based on ease of containment, and not danger. Even if it were, the -1 entity doesn't seem to leave the door's world unless someone attacks it. So just shutting the door and not letting people in is all containment would need. Human exploration is not a necessity. Drones can be use as well.
SCP-2871 is to be contained in Area ███ locked, only able to be open up by SCP-███.
Several things here. First, this read really badly. It's a very confusing sentence. Second, having an SCP be involved in the containment for another SCP is a really bad idea, especially if the other SCP is blackboxed. Even if the SCP is thaumiel though, it should be specified what it is.
I also want to know, is there a reason the door couldn't be locked with a normal lock? Why would an SCP be used at all? It seems unnecessary.
All personnel is allowed to be tested in SCP-2871
Grammar error here. "Is" should be "are." This is just a single instance of bad grammar or bad wording throughout this SCP. This doesn't seem like it was proofread very well, if at all. Remember to spell and grammar check everything in an SCP. It can help to read it out loud to try find the mistakes. It can help you with sentence flow as well.
It's pretty clear to me that little to no feedback was gotten before this was posted. In the future, I'd suggest making a page on our sandbox site and getting feedback from the drafts and critique forum. I'd also suggest just reading a ton more SCPs, to help get a better feel for the site and its expectations.
Scp 2679 appears to be a demon-shaped figure with black eyes. It seems to have signs of communication and emotion. Any class-d that enter the chamber start to hallucinate and start to hear screams of familiar voices, from the class-d's family members or friends. -22, 3 staff votes.
There is something called Clinical tone. This is supposed to be a classified document that someone is writing for a superior. This means you have to be less informal. For example, change " Scp 2679 appears to be a demon-shaped figure with black eyes" into " SCP-2679 is a humanoid creature with horns protruding from its skull." The idea is also somewhat bad, as it's just a thing what kills you. As with any idea, it depends on the execution. I recommend getting a sandbox and getting feedback. http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/
This SCP doesn't follow the standard template specified in the How To Write an SCP guide. Take another read through that. This is missing the item number, object class, and proper formatting for section titles.
I also want to note that the first image is very clearly a drawing, and the second image is a giant jumble of text that isn't loading properly and is making my browser lag.
Overall, this SCP, I really hate to say, is a mess. I'm not going to critique the whole thing, but I want to point out the more grievous issues. Before I do that, I want to mention that I'm not going to talk about grammar or spelling, any further than this. This needs to be put through a spell and grammar check. There are capitalization issues throughout the entire piece.
be contained in a 5x6 (ft) container
We use metric on the sight, this is imperial.
plated with titanium on the interior and exterior
Why is titanium used? There's no reason for it to be used, and no context in the article is given. A lot of new writers think of titanium as this magical metal that can easily contain things because it sound cool. It doesn't. The containment procedures need to contain an anomaly in the cheapest, most effective way possible.
Scp 2679 appears to be a demon-shaped figure with black eyes
Lots of cultures and mythologies have depictions of demons, and a lot of them are different. Christian demons are different than Japanese demons. Polish demons are different than Polynesian demons. Do some research. Give specifications. Describe it.
This goes the same for the use of "parasites" in this article. There are a ton of parasites in the world that come in all shapes and sizes. Do some research, and give explanations for things.
My biggest suggestion to you would be to read more of the wiki. Don't get super excited and try to post stuff right away. Take your time, and come to understand what the community expects. Jumping in headlong is a recipe for failure.
SCP-2783 designates a set of 25 standard, 4 cm long nails with a diameter of 2 mm when measured from the middle. SCP-2783 is comprised of an ██████ alloy previously unknown to the Foundation that has shown no signs of possessing a melting point and can remain in a solid state indefinitely. -18, 3 staff votes.
Scp-2759 are high frequency sounds from an unknown location. These frequency can be heard through a radio on channel [DATA EXPUNGED]. They were found when Scp-██ asked for a radio to listen to. -19, 3 staff votes.
The Full of Fuck Saga Hub, a hub to a saga of April Fools tales from 2017, that were indeed full of fuck. Deleted at -15 and three staff votes.
Mobile Task Force Omega 2 Watch Dogs summarily deleted after failed self deletion.
Witnessed by Lily.
SCP-2834, -22 and 3 staff votes, failed self delete.
There are two major things about this entry that just don't work for me:
Security camera footage shows that it first appeared when [REDACTED].
You just redacted what could have been the most interesting thing about your object. I understand that keeping things somewhat vague is a good way to help readers use their imaginations, but your audience still needs at least some sort of guidance. As it is, all we know is that a vibrating box appeared somewhere.
Further testing has shown that instances of SCP-2834 are unaffected by other SCP items.
This is another major missed opportunity to flesh out your article. There are thousands of anomalous objects in the SCP universe, running the gamut from alien mind-control broadcasts to creepy staircases to extradimensional doorways to ennui-inducing sea monsters. Very few of them have anything to do with each other, and many of them are mutually exclusive. So why is it that your object is one of the only things the entire SCP catalog has in common?
If you successfully explored one or both of those avenues, this might actually be an interesting entry. But as it stands, there's just not enough here to hold my attention.
SCP-3883-1 refers to two spatial anomalies currently located within Marine Site-05. SCP-3883-1A is located within a Low-Threat Containment Chamber. SCP-3883-1B is located within a supply closet 37 meters from the chamber. SCP-3883-2 refers to two near-identical copies of Marine Site-05 that can be accessed though SCP-3883-1. -13, 3 staff votes.
Eh, this really doesn't bring anything new to the table. It's not suffering from incompetent writing, but there's not a lot going on in it and the exploration log feels lacking with unnecessary expungement keeping away anything that was potentially of interest.
I'm not sure if it's bad form to compare something to your own SCP article, but it reminds me of my own SCP-2322. There's the potential for something cool with the entity taking on the form of whomever has entered it but there's absolutely nothing done with it. Also, why would this be Euclid if you can contain it by having a guard just stand in front of the entrances?
I think you're relying pretty hard on the twist+expungement at 5th end you carry this, but it doesn't quite.
The rest of this reads as a lot of build-up. The description setting it up is pretty long for what it gets across, and still isn't entirely clear. -3 never really comes into the story at all. The banter in the exploration log isn't particularly anything new, although the subtle detail changes were a nice addition to the description text. Both the description and the log had me in the mindset of world-as-video-game, with each iteration cranking down the graphics a bit. That boarder idea has been done a few times on the wiki.
Edit: This also reminded me of SCP-970, which had something of a simpler description. I'm thinking the -letter designations you have right now aren't helping with clarity.
I donno. You've got a few trends set up that are potentially interesting, as is the final twist, but the final twist isn't "slam down the expungement curtain and call it a night" good. You've got to do more with what we're given.
-1 for now.
SCP-2571 currently takes the form of a foundation issue pistol, due to the effect it has on guns around it. SCP-2571's harmful effects are that it, when fired, the bullet disappears from the chamber, and another bullet, that looks the same1 appears from the area the gun is fired at. If the gun is fired at a person, the gun will appear in the hands of the person being shot at, and will be fired normally at the original holder of the gun. -17, -3 staff votes.
You might want to change 'gun' to 'firearm', since it sounds a bit more professional.
SCP-2571's harmful effects are that it, when fired, the bullet disappears from the chamber, and another bullet, that looks the same appears from the area the gun is fired at.
This sentence is hard to read because of the structuring. It's a run-on sentence and the footnote that explains it being the same bullet makes it worse.
If the gun is fired at a person, the gun will appear in the hands of the person being shot at, and will be fired normally at the original holder of the gun.
Again, a messy sentence. Try structuring it something like this:
''If SCP-2571 is used on a person, SCP-2571 will appear being held by the intended target, which will fire at the original shooter instead.''
If the gun is shot into the horizon, or the sky, it will result in [DATA EXPUNGED] with no chance of the subject's recovery.
How are the two different? The expunging feels unnecessary. Is there something there or couldn't you think of anything to put there?
The gun came to the foundation's
For clarity, refer to an object by their SCP designation. Please capitalize 'Foundation', since it's a proper noun.
after a series of what appeared to be suicides in strange places in the town of ███████.
Strange places? What does that mean?
All of the dead had been holding guns, and had been shot, usually in somewhere that would be hard to shoot at on their own, judging by the positioning of the corpses.
The sentence structure is strange here as well. Try to use multiple sentences in cases like this.
I'm stopping here to focus on a larger issue:
For all intents and purposes, this isn't interesting enough as an SCP. At best, it's an anomalous item, but even then it wouldn't the first that does something like this concept.
The spelling errors and tonal changes won't change that it isn't enough of a concept to be interesting. The origin and test logs show that you might be aware of that, but it's not enough to have a good hook.
SCP-3064 presents itself as a standard pair of stainless steel scissors, approximately 8 meters in height and approximately 7 to 9 meters wide, with no sign of any wear or rust. Currently, SCP-3064 is known to appear to cut through most natural and man-made materials, apart from osmium, reinforced concrete, and radioactive materials. -20, 3 staff votes.
The big problem with this article right now is that it's just a thing that destroys other things in a fairly standard, uninteresting way (cutting them)—it's a pair of over-the-top scissors. The idea is, in itself, a pretty hard starting point, and no matter how good you execute this, I have trouble seeing it as a working article.
SCP-2576 is a pine wood paintbrush measuring about twenty cm from the tip of the bristle to the end of the handle. SCP-2576’s anomalous properties manifest when paint any writing or drawing material in excess of 25 milliliters or milligrams is within a ten meter radius. The material will evaporate or disappear, depending on the state of matter, leaving no residue or vapors, and will fill the brush head of SCP-2576. -16, 3 staff votes.
SCP-3009, a non-hostile humanoid apparition, able to cause psychotic break downs through visual contact. -13, 3 staff votes.
SCP-2841 is a sphere of an unknown substance that has no obvious physical properties emitting light as well as SCP-2841-1. SCP-2841-1 is a substance of an indistinguishable state of matter. Nothing done to the sphere slows that rate and attempts to block it ended in failure. -17, 3 staff votes.
SCP-2639 appears solely to be a normal Class-D official, but upon closer examination, the man's leg appears to be covered in SCP-106's corrosive substance. -26, 3 staff votes.
Issues:
-Unoriginal: Not a cliche (I think), but still heavily based off of SCP-106. Most SCPs are pretty independent and are able to stand on their own. It also sounds like a Mary Sue scip (It's a D-Class who has a 106-corrosion leg that can also enter 106's pocket dimension), and those tend to burn out faster than 106's corrosion.
-Grammatical and spelling errors: I can only assume 'lore subject' means lure (whether a typo or misunderstanding, i don't know), among other things wrong here.
-Tonal errors: SCP articles are meant to be detached, unemotional, technical reports, and terms you use like 'Infected' or 'Play' aren't good terms to use in a technical paper.
-Lacking detail: It's very short. That itself isn't a big problem, but short articles usually don't require a lot of details, while this needs a lot more than one paragraph.
-Anomalous Properties, Object Class, and Containment Procedures: You don't explicitly state what it does or why the containment procedures are necessary. An SCP's nature or abilities are essentially justifications for containment procedures. It's class is Keter, but it seems like it's more like a Euclid. (Also, the corrosion on the guy's leg would have stopped by now.)
Advice: I'd recommend maybe coming up with something independent enough to warrant a separate page, while this sounds more like an incident report or something. Also use the Sandbox or the Drafts & Critique forum, those can help you a lot too.
(SCP-3018) The Nightmare Table is a normal, oak table with a wax shine which was found in an abandoned Ikea in the small city of ██████, Poland. If you touch the table with bare skin, you are guaranteed to die as you experience the voice of the dead man who hang above it in your head and his voice tells you that "you must die" and that "there's no way out". -22, 3 staff votes.
I would suggest reading the How to Write an SCP guide (linked in the sidebar). Errors include:
-Referring to SCP by name, not number
-Incorrect page title (SHOULD be SCP-3018)
as well as others.
Not going to do a LBL, but the effect - "you kill yourself if you touch it" - is uninteresting. The flat out explanation of the effect lessens the gravitas even more. Take another look at this, introduce a hook/twist and try again. -1
SCP-3008 (aka Hi I'm Ronny), a "levitating telepathic Salmonidae" that speaks in the first person through out its article. Lost a fight to a specific toaster at -27 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Huh. I actually really liked this one. The perspective was nice, and it was definately humorous, but it's not quite there yet. The salmon is somewhat too childish and inane; or maybe it's just the right amount, but the grammar errors was killing it for me. *shrug*
I'd like to see this reworked, +1 as a vote of confidence.
This seems like it's been done before (toaster, library, squid, fish sex), yet at the same time weirdly refreshing. It's oddly adorable yet unnerving and quirky.
I would offer to rewrite if I had any idea how to make this more unique, but I rather liked this despite its many faults.
SCP-2514, an animate porcelain ballerina figurine that never stops dancing. Can perform a routine to any sound it hears, and is able to manipulate organisms into joining its dance. It also will literally steal your heart. Deleted at -12 and three staff votes.
You had a bit of a contradiction in the description, but you fixed it.
That aside, this feels like a very standard, by-the-numbers sort of SCP to me. It's not a direct rip-off of any one particular article, but it still feels overwhelmingly familiar and derivative. It's a cursed object that makes you X until you die, which was a prominent trend in Series I, and the tragic backstory at the end doesn't really offer anything we didn't see in the tragic backstory trend of Series II. That's not to say the concept is bad, necessary, it's just too safe for my taste. With over 2000 of these things, there's really not much room for safe, filler articles.
It's a downvote for me this time, but it's still pretty well put together for a first showing (which I believe this is; please correct me if I'm wrong). When coming up with ideas for your next one, I'd encourage you try to be a bit more adventurous. It's easy to look at successful articles and form idea of what an SCP "should" be, but virtually all the most popular and well-remembered articles were groundbreaking in tone, style, or concept at the time they were posted.
I really liked this SCP until it started getting into it's 'rage' state.
So- it breaks your legs if you don't die? That seems kind of silly. And they've tested this on amputees so if they don't die they just get a free pass? Does it break the animals' legs? The microorganisms'….flagella??? I don't know if you really need the SCP to be able to effect such a wide range of things.
The 'people's hearts turn transparent thing' is…..really cartoony to me. Do the hearts just float out of their chests without breaking the skin? Are the hearts still attached to arteries or have they been disconnected?
Don't get me wrong, I liked the rest of how it freaks out in response to the names- the dissonant music, cracking skin, and weird contorting parts are great.
No vote for now because I think this could easily be a decent SCP.
I'm getting kind of tired of skips what make you feel sad for them, which appears to be a common theme in Series III.
Sure, I liked Scarf and all, but this doesn't do it subtly or anything – it just kind of feels like a cheap "WHY AREN'T YOU CRYING YET" over the head. The bit with the hearts turning clear and gravitating towards her is a prime example of this in action.
-1 for narm and anvils.
SCP-3812 is a reptilian creature approximately ten metres long. It is very similar to dragons depicted in Chinese mythology, and possesses the ability to fly despite having no wings or other flying mechanisms. Its head is remarkably similar to that of Tyrannosaurus, but with two eyes on each side of the head, none of which contain eyeballs, but rather an orange dot which glows in the centre of each eye socket, -17 and three staff votes.
Other than general tone issues, there are a ton of things that kinda disengage the reader.
SCP-2687 is a pair of modern black and white glasses with 2 lens of +2 Diopters each. The glasses were found in █████, ████, on Friday 02/08/201█, in a Chinese Shop where multiple glasses type similar to SCP-2687 can be found, but none of them having the same properties as our subject.
Its anomalous effects were discovered due to a customer (European male, 31 years old), -18 and three staff votes.
The concept and its effect are just to vague to derive any real story or meaning, and the expungement of data doesn't help. We know there's a Target, it gives information, and…?
Essentially, it feels like you've cut the article's narrative off by the end.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? November 2nd, 1985 Agent Kerry sat in the rec room, watching intently as the television displayed helicopter footage of the smoldering ruins of New York City The rotting corpse of a tentacled abomination sat on top of what was left of the Institute for Extraspacial studies on Fifth and Seventh. A ring of burnt corpses surrounded it, all soaked with blood, -17 and three staff votes.
watching intently as television
'The television' might feel a little less awkward here. Otherwise, it's unclear whether you're referring to a set or all of television in general.
searching for any survivors. From up so high, they looked like little white bugs searching for food.
'Searching' is redundant. Recommend changing the second one to 'hunting' to strengthen the analogy.
a young scientist with an obvious coffee stain on his collar.
A young scientist said?
“…Good point,”
Don't believe the 'g' needs to be capitalized.
“What are we gonna have to about this?”
Have to do?
Even if it was just barely.
This is awkward. Would recommend changing it to 'Even if just barely."
long brown hair and hair
Unnecessary hair.
outstretched his hand for a handshake
Redundant hand. Would recommend just having 'extended his hand' - the offer is implied.
As he shook the bearded man’s hand,
Supra-redundant hand. Would recommend shortening to 'as they shook.'
Yes, I suppose you can say that
'You could' might work a little better.
He had a deep English accent. A Northampton one to be specific.
Would recommend merging these two via a dash where you have the first period.
a lot more different.
Rather redundant - would recommend just using 'different.' It's more subtle.
This simply cannot just be an one-time event”
Period.
As far as PC candidates go, Watchmen is an excellent choice. Staging the narrative following the events of the novel is also an interesting design decision - however, in its current state, the article's dialogue is awkward and hamfisted, and although much of the imagery is decent, it fails to really convey the character of Veight as he was sold in the novel, or do anything that exploits the potential interactions brought on by the article being a member of Project Crossover.
Regretful -1 - I do like the picture, though.
—-
re: Veidt
I haven't really much experience with his personality outside of the film version, so I'm not all that qualified to speak on the minutiae of his thought-process, but it seems like he lays down waaay too easily in the face of the Foundation's threat of force. He's the most intelligent man in the world and also probably the most rich - if we're taking Watchmen and Foundation Universe Prime and throwing them together, you gotta imagine he's already heard of them, and it's not too much of a stretch to figure he's at least made some inroads to the paratechnology sector. MC&D would've been practically screaming his name prior to him, you know, committing horrific genocide. Plus, the guy's at his physical and psychological peak. He'd put up some sort of resistance prior to getting his head beat in by Type Blues and Orange Suits.
For a Watchmen crossover tale, this isn't anywhere near to scale or size that I'd want a crossover to be. Lackluster and incredibly short.
“Tell me how we are going to do this,” Adrian said.
“The people of the world are expecting another incident. For what is an invasion without multiple attacks?”
“Dear god…” Adrian whispered as he looked out onto the city. He reached out and placed his open hand on the glass.
I'm not buying that Adrian hadn't considered this. He's the world's smartest man; he's thought of everything. I would suggest starting with the assumption that he knows about the foundation.
You also need to address why the foundation didn't contain Dr. Manhattan.
SCP-1308 is a young Asian male named ████ ██████ dressed in kāṣāya1 meditating in the Lotus position. SCP-1308 is constantly in state of hibernation, and has been for an unknown amount of time. Any attempt at waking SCP-1308 has been a failure. Within the ██ years the Foundation has had SCP-1308 in its containment, it has never moved See Interview Log-1308A, -19 and four staff votes.
There's various problems with this SCP article, including it just being a bit bland - there's not really a strong narrative, so it's not particularly interesting to read through.
Where you lost be personally, however, was here -
SCP-1308 first came to the Foundation’s attention after field agents in █████████ reported rumors of a Buddhist monk who had been meditating for 6 years at a nearby monastery and were ordered to investigate.
It doesn't seem very realistic that The Foundation would somehow, for some reason, be contacted over a normal-seeming human doing a normal thing for their lifestyle, just for an unusually long time. Buddhist monks do meditate for long times, as well as practising their religion in other ways throughout the day, as you can read about here. But honestly, this is where you lost me, because I just couldn't see this containment happening. I kept reading, but it felt like a slog, as it was increasingly dull and clear that there wasn't going to be a plot put in any time soon.
I would advise you to get more feedback on the forums and in the IRC chat before posting this again. The feedback you got on your thread was a little superficial, and people on Reddit don't always know all the rules/guidelines for writing an article here.
I am seconding what Maxwell said about seeking more feedback from the wiki.
Other than that, it seems that every item number except the title is incorrect. I did like the hint that this one guy is preventing the surfacing of anomalies, but that idea seems to be more of an afterthought than the purpose of this article. Overall, you have a workable concept, but it needs more before I would feel comfortable giving it a +1.
This is probably just a pet peeve on my part, but the whole thing with researchers being all "Are you ok with us calling you by your Foundation-given designation?" is really redundant in a finalized article unless it possesses some form of substance to the story. I might be wrong here, but it just seems unlikely that personnel would even bring that to light, as, again, it's just a designation, and the majority of personnel, even though some might care about the feelings of anomalous beings, are still pretty much required the majority of the time to act clinical around these entities, unless certain conditions come up which doesn't happen in this.
Aside from that little thing I agree with the fellows above me.
Hmm. I very much like the basic concept behind this one, actually - the idea that this guy is somehow interfering with or interacting with a certain form of anomaly. The problem is that the idea isn't fleshed out enough. I can't believe that the doctor just says "No further questions" in response to that, for one: I have so many questions. If this is a serious and demonstrable threat, I would expect the Foundation to ask him to teach a Mobile Task Force how to do this. It's unrealistic to expect one person to do it - what if he dies? What if something happens to him?
Expand on this a bit more. It's definitely a workable idea, and I really look forward to seeing something come of it. Feel free to discuss with me if you need ideas.
SCP-3032 is a moderately worn-out pickaxe discovered in Custer County, Colorado by ████████. Analysis of the chemical composition has shown that the handle of SCP-3032 are made out of oak wood, however the head of SCP-3032 is composed of an unknown metal, but it has been speculated to be an alloy of ████ and ██████. SCP-3032 weighs about 10.5 pounds, while normal pickaxes weigh about 2.5-3 pounds, -21 and three staff votes.
Well… it was going alright until the end.
Most of it was… ok. It seemed to be just 'a thing that makes you do things', but then it did gradually get a few unique aspects that made it relatively interesting. Granted it should probably have been taken a bit further, fleshed out a bit, either in additional features or documentation. A few nitpicks would be: the object didn't seem Euclid, seemed pretty safe (just don't touch it). Also, you don't need to say they have only one, that's implied, and the level of the guards aren't necessary. But regardless, it was ok.
That was until the end, where you just… ruined it.
Seriously, the final note just ruined the whole article for me. Aside from the fact that if it was destroyed it should have the object class of 'Neutralised', and there really should have been more to it if this was a leak of something that destroyed 3 SCPs, it made the whole thing seem completely pointless. It kinda made me feel I'd wasted my time reading it, I mean, what was the point if it had just been destroyed? I really do think this article would be a whole lot better if you just removed that last note, not the best (it needs more) but it would have been passable, and could likely be expanded into a good article.
I'm gonna presume you didn't show this to anyone else on the site (as in, on the forums or site chat), because I seriously doubt anyone here would've thought that final note was ok, as evidenced by the rating this has. In the future, I seriously suggest you do that.
Edit: I see that you've removed the note now. That's good, but I fear it's too late to avoid deletion. Yet, I'm sure this could be rewritten to work someday, I do see potential in your writing, perhaps you just need to get yourself acquainted with the site more. At least it shows you're willing to listen to feedback, unlike on some new articles I've seen recently.
On a side note one little extra piece of feedback I noticed: you should probably be using the metric system i.e. grams/kilograms not pounds, and centimeters/meters, not inches. Remember the Foundation is scientific, so they would use metric.
SCP-3078 is a large mammal that appears to be a cross of an American Black Bear and a Grey Wolf. Recorded measurements and weight when the subject in question was found was 2 meters from tail to snout, and the height from paw to spine was around the average height of the human male, 5 foot 6 inches. The weight at time of retrieval was roughly 210 pounds, -24 and three staff votes.
I'm not completely sure where to start with this but I'll start by listing the things that stood out to me the most:
SCP-3025 is a concrete floor found in a prison.The floor seems to be indestructible and is always extremely cold. Scp-3025 was discovered in a prison that suddenly blew up. Every thing was destroyed except fore one area on the floor. When something emerged from the floor it was immediately killed and the foundation was informed. Randomly it brakes open and a creature that will be classified as SCP-3025-1 will come out of the hole, improperly self-deleted, cleared by me at -6 with Decibelles witnessing.
