I really like this one- suggestion, though, you could remove the part about variation, I think it works better if it's 100% exactly the same scene every time.
Date: 11 Jan 2010 00:27
Number of posts: 31
RSS: New posts
I'd actually disagree - the fact that there's variation implies that it's more than just a recording of events being replayed, but is the events themselves repeating, which is far more interesting.
I first read this after the references to variation had been removed, and I still thoroughly enjoyed it.
On the other hand, if there were some way to make clearer that these people are locked in the same repeating 11-second shootout for eternity (if that is indeed the intent), I think it would enhance the creep factor to a great degree. Otherwise, as was noted above, this might just be a "recording" of the events… which is still quite unsettling but not entirely horrifying.
Also, I have to wonder how "all attempts at interacting with the scene have failed"; if any of the doors or windows can actually be breached, even with unusually strong force, it should also be possible to (for example) shoot through the opening and kill the SWAT team as they enter, prior to the scene resetting.
I'm not actually suggesting you change anything, more musing about the possibilities. Editing an article of this quality should be handled with kid gloves, if handled at all.
I think that bit makes it scarier, actually. My opinion is that the Foundation hasn't tried too hard to disrupt the time loop because they don't want to neutralize the SCP. In effect, they're keeping these people in hell because they don't want to risk losing their anomaly.
How are we keeping these people in hell?
For them, it's only been 11.6 seconds.
(….. or HAS it.)
The original version of the article implied there might be some minute variation, but that was changed. I get the feeling this version is actually less awful. Maybe.
Don't know, but I've always loved it.
I too thought about shooting the attackers - then I thought you might have to shoot the surviving scientist instead.
First, let me just say that this is magnificent. Great work, Raven.
if light can get out… can light get in?
Can we measure stuff in there by bouncing lasers off it?
I assume we've done spectrographic analysis of the machine's Burst Of Light… most forms of radiation involve particle emission… particles have mass — mass that's negligible at the macroscopic level, but still mass…
I'm thinking of time and space being equivalent.
I'm thinking about why it's so impossible to get things into that room… about resistance, about potential energy… about gravity wells…
I'm thinking about event horizons… and being on the wrong side of one. Light can emerge from there… can it go back in?
Consider, again, the particles emitted… and think about Hawking radiation.
Could this time loop be - very, very slowly, AGONIZINGLY slowly - evaporating?
How about having comments on the hairstyles of the researchers, in order to estimate when the timeloop machine went out of control for the first time?
Telescopic observation of the computer monitors to see what they're reporting?
(It'd be nifty if the only computer whose screen can be properly seen is running an application designed for Windows 3.1, I think.)
What the hell makes you think this SCP involves anything remotely as simple as a "timeloop machine"? Be creative.
Late comment, but I really enjoy this one. It's one of the more memorable pieces on this site.