SCP-414 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-414.

Bouncl 18 Dec 2009 03:18

Kinda meh on this. I feel that the writing needs work, though.

Agent Circeus 18 Dec 2009 03:29

I always find it difficult to organise something where I have come up with a lot of details. I have a few test log ideas too I want to add (especially the one with a gay couple).

pooryoric 18 Dec 2009 03:53

See, that's an excuse. I'm with bouncl on this one. I like the concept more than I expected to, but the writing is really shoddy and needs a lot of work. Stop making excuses and do so.

carriontrooper 18 Dec 2009 05:30

Thirding and home-basing this. Fix the mispells and the misgrammars and we're good.

Noaqiyeum 18 Dec 2009 20:43

The story behind how the Foundation found this one is what sells it for me.

Sorts 29 Dec 2009 08:57

I love it, it's freaky and weird and has just a little bit of tragedy on it. The writing didn't put me off right away, but I suppose it could be tightened up.

Ryebox 07 Apr 2010 08:27

I agree with most of what everyone's already said. I rather like the idea but the writing could definitely be improved.

Dr_Schubert 21 Aug 2010 23:31

"Even when the occupants were, for example, intensely busy performing heavy construction work, having sex, or similar activities, it will not be detectable on them."

Suddenly, you're no longer sweaty! Seriously?

MrUnimport 22 Aug 2010 00:38

I'm honestly a bit tired of the whole "good-old fifties American wholesomeness" mode of creepy. To add to that, this article is a little prescriptive, instead of descriptive: it uses "will" a whole lot, instead of describing observations, which adds to the effect of a thing what makes you enter a creepypasta.

isochronous 22 Feb 2012 22:18

"Once the visitor is greeted away, the occupants will either seemingly disappear if the house was empty…"

What does "greeted away" mean?

daioni 16 Jul 2012 17:59

I sort of want to know what would happen if conjoined twins wiped their feet at the door.

Aridorn 19 Jul 2012 16:29

I would guess that the SCP would either register them as the same person or simply a group of people to be welcomed. The SCP wouldn't work very well for its "downhome wholesomeness" effect if Bob and Harriet showed up at the door, Bob wiped his feet and got invited in, but when Harriet tried to carry the apple pie she'd brought over inside, Little Timmy hit her in the face with his Gimbal's-purchased baseball bat.

Aridorn 19 Jul 2012 16:34

In general on this SCP I agree with MrUnimport. (Two years back. I know, I know. But I only comment on these when I have something to say.) The idea of of "wholesome fifties Americana" being somehow terrifying all on its own is really kind of lame. This would work perfectly well without all the jazz about a nuclear family and trying to present as wholesome clean-cut Americans, including the bit of tragedy at the end. In fact it would probably work better if the people were trying to present as upstanding members of their community, wherever their community happens to be… toss it on a French porch, the young married couple inside is trying to be the best French young married couple they can be. Works the same if you use it in different cities in different parts of different countries and so on. It actually lends a timeless nature to the attempts at fitting in and seeming "normal", rather than a forced fifties vibe.

The "Ohnoes Pleasantville!" thing just seems like an attempt to cash in on the idea that, rather than just being another period of time in our history, the fifties were some sort of self-imposed Hell for all Americans where they were forcing plastic smiles 24/7 and constantly praying for death. People still try to fake being "normal" in this time. In any time, really.