Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Summary:

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Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Zyn 11 Dec 2016 21:49

All Staff-enacted Deletions are carried out according to the Deletions Guide.

Summary deletions result for:

• Articles with malicious intent
• Pages that are clearly unfinished.
• Attempts to "game" site procedure, such as re-posting a non-rewritten article in an attempt to get around downvotes.
• Blatantly plagiarized material.
• An article posted outside of the current range.

If an author attempts to self-delete their work and fails to do so properly, including either by blanking the page or renaming it, it will be deleted properly by Staff.

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Zyn 11 Dec 2016 22:00

SCP-2857 is a 1 x 1 x 1 in. cube of refined granite soapstone rock. Many large scratches and dents can be found along the surface of the faces. The anomalous properties of SCP-2857 don't become apparent until SCP-2857 comes in contact with water or any other moisture. When SCP-2857 comes in contact with water it spontaneously reaches temperatures of under -500°C and freezes, all matter affected by SCP-2857 is referred to as SCP-2857-B, -28 and three staff votes.

Feedback ported: LilyFlower

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Okay, this is really bugging me;

When SCP-2857 comes in contact with water it spontaneously reaches temperatures of under -500°C

You can't get colder than 0K, which if I recall is (around) -273°C. It's important to get the science correct when writing for the site and this is pretty simple stuff. Also, solid CO2 is a rediculously impractucal way to contain it- keeping it submerged in oil would stop any moisture, again basic science. Overall the anomaly isn't that interesting, but this stood out to me as a glaring error.

Try and get crit before posting a scip either in chat or on the forums, and if you don't get the science you're using, ask someone who does.

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SCP-2258 can create an illusion in your mind of what it looks like. No one is positive about looks like but it is theorized that it has one independent form. It lives in the sea giving the facts that it can survive in any condition. SCP-2258 does not eat animals but plants such as seaweed and grass. SCP-2258 is not known to harm any living creature including humans, -24 and three staff votes.

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SCP-2921 is a light-blue and dark-purple sphere approximately 5 feet by 5 feet by 5 feet. The ground around SCP-2921 is barren and unable to support plant-matter, and no wildlife will step within the 30 foot by 30 foot perfect circle surrounding SCP-2921. SCP-2921 is dormant and will remain dormant as long as no organic or man-made object steps within 15 feet of SCP-2921, -22 and three staff votes.

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Zyn 11 Dec 2016 22:05

SCP-2381 is a load carrying vest physically identical to a 6sh112 tactical vest currently in service with the Russian millitary. The label indicates that the vest was manufactured by Tehinkom (Техинком) industry in March 2007. SCP-2381 is primarily constructed of high strength polyester that has so far shown minimal wear and damage, -21 and three staff votes.

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SCP-2791 is a memetic infection with symptoms simulating disease such as the "flesh-eating" necrotizing fasciitis. SCP-2791 is very slow and nonlethal in its infection, only effecting the epidermis and dermis, and attributes an antimeme that disallows strangers, or people that are not emotionally attached to SCP-2791 victims, to see the symptoms, -18 and three staff votes.

Feedback ported:

sirpudding

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I like the idea of an infection that hides itself antimemetically, but this execution could have been tightened up. A few thing that jumped out at me:

• Image is broken. It looks like you never uploaded the file.
• "Mental asylums" aren't really a thing nowadays.
• I question the existence of an entire Amnestics Department.
• Since the disease is real, why aren't they treating it with antibiotics? Antibiotics are chemical compounds and can't carry antimemes.
• Why not use mnestics to look for this?
• Explanatory notes at the end are pretty cliché now, and this one seems especially pat.

ETA:I uploaded the image from your sandbox for you, but it still seems to be broken.

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The disease was defined as progressing with an ongoing depression; it's the mental state of the SCP-2971-1's that give them more symptoms. Antibiotics don't help with depression.

Antibiotics ought to help with this part:

SCP-2791 is a flesh-eating bacterial infection

I'll consider editing the article in accordance with some of your other notes, but I still don't know what do with the image. It worked fine in the sandbox…

Yeah I tried to troubleshoot it for you, but other than there not being a file there originally, I don't know what is wrong.

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So are antimemes. So is the memetic model being valid in the setting for that matter. So far, antimemes and mnestics have gone together in every instance other than SCP-055.

I am not suggesting that this needs to exist in a setting with mnestics, but I am suggesting the author might consider it.

Scorpion451

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On the mental asylum thing: the old "bedlam house" type lunatic asylums have gone the way of lobotomies (and good riddance), but their modern replacements, Psychiatric Hospitals, are still sometimes called asylums or institutions. It's not very common or well received, however, given the words' attachment to a more barbaric era.

Major dedicated psychiatric hospitals do have at least a wing specializing in the long-term care and rehabilitation of those with extreme mental conditions or brain damage which render them profoundly unable to function in society or a danger to themselves and others. These are much less common, however, than short-term treatment facilities and wards dealing with "crisis stabilization"- essentially trauma centers to the major Psychiatric Hospital's rehabilitation center or hospice. Like a typical hospital, the goal is to stabilize the patient to the point where they can return to their lives and continue any needed care as an outpatient.

Cue rainbow star thingy.

Tutwater

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Okay, first off, this idea of the symptoms being unnoticeable to certain people makes the disease MUCH scarier, and I like it. There are a lot of infohazardous-disease SCP objects on this site and I feel like that one detail gives this one enough difference from the others to give it merit.

I feel like there's a lot of fluff in the description that doesn't need to be there - compared to the actual anomalous symptoms and transmissions of the disease, a weirdly long time (like, the entire second half of the description?) is spent on explaining how it's hard for the infected to show off their sores. I understand this was an example of how the disease has different rules whether relatives are looking or not, but I feel like it could have been done much less clumsily. For example;

"Individuals which SCP-2791-1 considers 'loved ones' will perceive SCP-2791-1 as being entirely asymptomatic. This effect extends to all forms of perception, including physical contact - outside observers will be unable to perceive the extent of a SCP-2791-1 instance's dermal symptoms, and while complications such as skin degradation and dermal growths would greatly encumber SCP-2791-1, these complications are halted under observation, only resuming when SCP-2791-1 is in an isolated environment."

Just an idea?

Otherwise, I think you've got a great idea here, the description just needs a second pass to trim down fluff and to sound more formal; phrases like "a great deal" aren't awfully scientific, and contractions need to be avoided. And it's "personnel", not "personell".

Good luck! No-vote for now, because I'm really fond of the concept.

LordSpy

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"What if depression was something physical?" is just one of those subjects that must be handled extra-carefully for them to work. There's some extremely successful works here (and, honestly, throughout the entirety of human history) that use allegories of it, but here the symbolism is too heavy-handed, as well as overly reductive of all the different forms that depression can have.

The "hey, you're infected (or something)" bit on the image's description also felt cheap.

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Decibelles 11 Dec 2016 22:38

expedition log 2384-Pip, deleted due to being a duplication of this article, Tuomey Tombstone witnessing.

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Decibelles 11 Dec 2016 23:12

2384 Pip, ditto above, with Tuomey Tombstone witnessing.

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

(account deleted) 12 Dec 2016 03:29

SCP-2952, a set of chairs, left cruelly un-sat-upon at -30 and 3 staff votes
SCP-Hohoho-J was struck down during his conquest of Mars at -30 and 2 staff votes

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

ProcyonLotor 12 Dec 2016 03:59

Agent Ross's Personnel File, summarily deleted for not having any articles, let alone three, with Decibelle witnessing.

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Decibelles 12 Dec 2016 23:25

SCP-2016-J, summarily deleted due to it being plagiarized from this reddit post by HappyLittleRadishes, with ProcyonLotor and Tuomey Tombstone witnessing. The user who plagiarized is now banned.

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Decibelles 12 Dec 2016 23:56

Scp-4000., summarily deleted due to being outside of posting range, with Tuomey Tombstone witnessing.

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Zyn 13 Dec 2016 00:07

Expedition log 2020482, summarily deleted for trolling with Deci and Tuomey and Coony witnessing.

Re: Deletions 39: We're riding in a wonderland of snow

Zyn 13 Dec 2016 00:09

The Breach, this was gathered from class d cell during containment breach 1000 error error starting object 1: RoSes are red violets are blue i Love u ObJECT 2: game boy + it had Mario in it the Italian dude ObJECT 3: UNKWON DATA ERRROER KILL KILL KILL, -40 and three staff votes.

SCP-2621, Scott 2621 is to be contained within a 5 . 5 . 5 square metal hollow cubicle that is floating by a cable in the air it is restricted to level 1s only :Description: Scp 2621 is a human who possesses anomalous powers He is to be contained At all costs He has shown telekeinetic abilities throughout testing Do not let him out, -30 and three staff votes.

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