SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES:
Public airline companies of each country are to be required to report every relevant events, and all crew and passengers are to be administered amnestics.
Restate as "All public airline companies worldwide have been instructed to report occurrences of SCP-905-JP. All witness aboard the affected planes are to be administered amnestics."
I'm concerned with how well this strategy will work. When are the crew and passengers going to be amnestized? After the public airline company tells the Foundation? Who's to say someone in the company won't tell someone in the mass media?
THOUGHTS: I don't think the containment procedures will work that well. They basically rely on the Foundation being the only people to learn about the incident - but if I were caught up in a situation like this you can bet your britches I'd be telling someone about it as soon as my flight landed.
DESCRIPTION:
SCP-905-JP is a phenomenon occurring on a commercial airliner in service in English-speaking countries
"that occurs in commercial airliners that service", not "occurring on a commercial airliner in service in".
English is such a ubiquitous language that it's spoken on every country in the world. Do you mean that the country needs to have English as its primary language? If so, you need to clarify that both in the description and containment procedures.
When SCP-905-JP manifest, every noise made by the passengers, crew and pilot (which includes footsteps, door-opening and closing sounds, sneeze, etc.) start beating out a certain rhythm.
"When SCP-905-JP manifests, all noises made by the passengers in the aircraft (such as footsteps, opening and closing doors, sneezing, etc.) will occur in such a way that they create a recognizable rhythm."
30 minutes after the manifestation of the phenomenon, these noises converge to a characteristic rhythm of "We Will Rock You".
"After 30 minutes, the rhythm becomes identical to that used in the song "We Will Rock You"."
People inside the airplane will experience a sense of "unity and elation à la live event" amidst the synchronised rhythm, usually producing clapping and stomping sounds.
"All persons within the airplane, including the crew and pilots," instead of just 'people'.
Putting the phrase "unity and elation à la live event" in quotation marks implies that many people who experienced SCP-905-JP actually described it that exact way. As in, if there were an interview log, someone would say "I experienced a sense of unity and elation a la live event."
Unless that's what you mean, you'll have to come up with a more technical way of describing the feeling, since 'unity a la live event' isn't a very scientific term. One possible way of describing it is "Passengers in the airplane become much more cooperative and sociable with each other, producing clapping and stomping sounds to accompany the rhythm".
After which, a number of physically identical male humanoids of Indian descent around age 30 (hereby SCP-905-JP-1) appear from various entrances in the airplane (including vacant lavatories, crew rest compartments and unoccupied baggage compartments). The number of SCP-905-JP-1 instances that appear at once ranges from 3 to 37, and the interviews with exposed passengers show that SCP-905-JP-1 instances are perceived as "Freddie Mercury".
"Immediately after, between 3 and 37 physically identical Indian males (termed SCP-905-JP-1) will appear from various entrances and compartments within the airplane (such as vacant lavatories, crew rest compartments, and unoccupied baggage compartments). Passengers exposed to these instances report perceiving them as the late singer Freddie Mercury."
"Freddie Mercury" does not need to be in quotations, since that was his stage name. If the humanoids are only perceived as Freddie Mercury, that implies that they have a different form that can be seen on cameras. But airplanes don't have cameras inside. Could somebody have recorded an occurrence of SCP-905-JP on their cell phone, and the phone recording showed somebody who wasn't Freddie Mercury?
Not sure if you already knew this, but Freddie Mercury isn't an Indian. He's technically a Parsi who lived in India before moving to Britain.
After the appearance of SCP-905-JP-1 instances, they will sing songs from the album "Queen" with acoustic equipment providing the accompaniment to them.
You can remove everything before the comma, and then replace 'they' with "SCP-905-JP-1 instances". Where does the acoustic equipment come from? Does it just appear with them?
Furthermore, sound sources for the accompaniment are non-existent on the airplane.
So is the acoustic equipment there or not? Mentioning the equipment gives the impression that it's there, but this sentence contradicts that.
During the occurrence of SCP-905-JP, severe vibrations has been observed in the airplane; these vibrations are occurring in accordance with musics
"During SCP-905-JP occurrences, severe vibrations will occur in the airplane, coinciding with the rhythm of the music."
Lighting equipments flicker in synchronization with performances, emitting the red/blue/green color rays and irradiating lasers for visual effect - how this occurs is unknown.
"Lights in the plane will flicker in time with SCP-905-JP-1's performance, and emit colored beams and laser visual effects like those in concert performances."
You can remove the part about not knowing how this occurs - that's implied by virtue of being an SCP.
According to flight recorder, airplane is not controlled enough against violent vibrations. This suggests that the pilots are affected by SCP-905-JP. Although 7 people (in total, to date) were injured by the vibrations, all were minor injuries.
"Flight recording data indicates that the pilots of the aircraft are also affected by SCP-905-JP. To date, no deaths have been reported, though seven people have suffered minor injuries."
Attempts to interrupt the anomalous effects of SCP-905-JP were made in the past, by a Foundation agent who was on board by chance. However, airplane crew and passengers were highly excited and ignored the agent while SCP-905-JP was occurring.
"One attempt has been made to interrupt the effects of SCP-905-JP, by a Foundation agent that happened to fly on a plane that was affected. This attempt was hindered due to the crew and other passengers becoming excitable and ignoring the agent."
Although the Containment team was alerted by agent and besieged the airplane after landing at airport and traced SCP-905-JP-1 instances to the locations they were last sighted, it failed to locate them.
"The agent alerted the Foundation mid-flight. A containment team was dispatched and searched the plane immediately after landing, but could not locate any instances of SCP-905-JP-1."
Interviews with crew and passengers have given inconclusive answers. After this incident, agent in question was proven that he is under the effect of SCP-905-JP and taken into custody.
Inconclusive answers about what? What questions did the Foundation ask? How did the agent prove that he was under SCP-905-JP-1's effect? Does this mean that the effect lingers even after the -1 instances disappear? Does the disappearance of the -1 instances mark the end of the phenomenon? If so, why are these facts not mentioned earlier?
Interviews by Foundation agents revealed that passengers who were exposed to SCP-905-JP get a strong belief that "Freddie Mercury is still alive"
"Following an occurrence of SCP-905-JP, affected persons will begin to profess the belief that Freddie Mercury is still alive."
The last section shouldn't be in quotes.
Moreover, Occult-related network monitoring team reported the rise in certain conspiracy theories whereby various dead celebrities were purported to still be alive. Possible existence of unconfirmed SCP-905-JP variants is to be considered.
"Occult-related network monitoring teams have reported a rise in conspiracy theories regarding celebrities having faked their deaths, which may indicate the existence of unconfirmed variants of SCP-905-JP."
I thought the airlines were supposed to tell the Foundation if SCP-905-JP happened? This only serves to prove the uselessness of the containment procedures.
THOUGHTS: It describes Freddie Mercury popping out of airplanes and then adds a conspiracy bent, but there isn't much of a story, even an implied one, and it isn't very fun to read.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Novote or downvote. It's boring to read. You describe the anomaly and mention interview logs, but that's it. There's no real hint of why the anomaly exists; there's nothing to spice it up; there's nothing beyond 'Freddie Mercury performing on an airplane'.
