SCP Idea: "Dead Mans Feast"

SCP Idea: "Dead Mans Feast"

Tex Natobo 17 Jul 2021 21:05

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): Horror

Page Layout (Optional):

Elevator Pitch: A Feast that is to die for

Central Narrative: The Victim will enter a hall resembling a Feast Hall of Traditional appearance based on the local culture or the victims own culture. Upon entering the Victim will find a large table with many foods from the culture that the SCP is featuring as well as a Musical ambiance that also comes from the culture. This is the last moment a victim has to leave safely. When they sit down a drink from the culture appears on the table in front of them. After drinking said drink a number of foods will float off the tables platters onto the Victims plate forming a 5-star meal or better. After consumption the victim will disintegrate over the course of 3 hours into a pasty white goo that reforms into a platter with food on it. Only Victims with Type O Blood are able to leave without disintegration and reformation. Upon either death or departure the site will relocate to a random spot on earth with even ground.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: It is a feasthall that you will most likely die in if you partake in the feast

Additional Notes: None at the moment

Re: SCP Idea: "Dead Mans Feast"

ZG1906 17 Jul 2021 22:58

Hello!

+Crit

The biggest issue I have with this is that I don't see any real story happening. This pretty much just reads as a "Banquet Hall What Kills People" and doesn't seem to have any real depth to it.
There are a lot of ways you could take this, though. I just think its going to need more work as it stands in order to truly grab readers.

So the question I have here is: why?

Why does it turn people into food slurry?

Why couldn't the Foundation locate it and just… not let anyone inside?

And on that note:

Why should I, as the reader, consider this horror?

While "being turned into food that other people then unwittingly eat" is certainly a creepy concept, its unfortunately been done quite a few times in a variety of media (the spirit feast from Spirited Away comes to mind). You also have to remember that this is the Foundation, where eldritch horrors are the norm and people get eaten unfortunately (but unsurprisingly) often. So this is going to need something a little deeper or more interesting happening to grab your readers' interest and really drive that "horror" part home.

Some advice I always give is if you find yourself having a difficult time expanding on the idea, you could always try asking yourself some sort of "out-of-story" questions as you go:

What made you want to write about this?

In your own opinion, what is the most interesting/scary/unique part of this idea?

What is the story you want to tell?

If you have answers to these things, leaning into those feelings/thoughts can make your writing both easier and more interesting to your readers who may appreciate those same things.

Overall, the idea is just a little to broad/bland at the moment for me, but its definitely one of those ideas that can be taken above and beyond on the wiki with the right mind and motivation, so don't give up on it, but definitely give it some more thought. ^__^

Good luck! If you have questions or want more feedback, feel free to PM me! Otherwise, I won't get notifications if you reply!

Re: SCP Idea: "Dead Mans Feast"

Tex Natobo 19 Jul 2021 00:20

Shall I edit OP or send a new reply?

Last edited on 19 Jul 2021 00:21 by Tex Natobo Show more

Forum Criticism Team - Captain Post

Zyn 19 Jul 2021 06:02

It helps to edit the top post, as that's where most reviewers will look first when writing a critique.