"Our First Gift" [Seeking Critique / Greenlight]

Summary:

A torch, bearing a flame that creates materials instead of burning them.

"Our First Gift" [Seeking Critique / Greenlight]

eggsalad 29 Jun 2021 21:14

Page Type: SCP Article

Page Layout (Optional): Containment procedures, description, test logs, and interviews / e-mails.

Elevator Pitch: This proposed SCP is a torch that bears a green flame. This flame does not burn materials in a traditional sense, but instead "creates" more material (IE: igniting a log will cause the log to grow more wood). The flame can ignite certain materials that are not normally flammable — such as concrete or metal — but can still be extinguished through oxygen deprivation. This flame still generates heat, but not quite as much as traditional flames do.

Central Narrative: I possibly want to make a connection to the ancient Greek myth of Prometheus; the titan that gave humanity the gift of fire. Maybe this could've been the original flame that he gave to humans, or a recreation of it?

Here's how I'd flesh it out more:

The torch is first discovered during an archaeological exploration, contained within some kind of ceremonial chamber. It's held on a pedestal with engravings that read "This is our first gift. Treat it well." The torch is brought into Foundation custody — where it is contained and tested. The actual narrative should focus on the engravings, and what the Foundation thinks it might mean.

Hook/Attention Grabber: As said earlier, I think the possible connection to Prometheus's gift could be a good topic.

Additional Notes: None yet. But any feedback / criticism on this concept is greatly appreciated!

Re: "Our First Gift" [Seeking Critique / Greenlight]

fairydoctor 30 Jun 2021 07:02

Heya!

The actual narrative should focus on the engravings, and what the Foundation thinks it might mean.

What's on the engravings? Is it going to be the myth of Prometheus? What does the Foundation think the engravings mean? Is anything else found at the site? How does the Foundation experiment on the object? What experiments do they do? Who are the head researchers tasked with this object? What do they as individuals think and feel about it? Is there an actual Prometheus attached to the object?

"This is our first gift."

What are the other gifts given? Are the other gifts mentioned in the engravings?

Overall, I really dig this concept and I would love to know more about it!

Hope this helps!

Edit: P.S. Feel free to PM me or find me on IRC if you respond to my post. I don't get a notification otherwise. Be sure to include a link to your thread in the PM.

Last edited on 30 Jun 2021 08:48 by fairydoctor Show more

Re: "Our First Gift" [Seeking Critique / Greenlight]

eggsalad 30 Jun 2021 18:26

Hi! I'm glad you like the concept. Allow me to elaborate on some of the things you've asked.

What's on the engravings? Is it going to be the myth of Prometheus?

+ Response

The engravings carved into the SCP's original chamber are simply the words "This is our first gift. Treat it well." (written in Greek). I was thinking about including Greek murals at the site of discovery, but these will be worn down and difficult to recreate due to weathering over time. Could these murals depict the myth of Prometheus? The short answer is maybe.

I want the Foundation to first ask themselves: "What does the engraved phrase mean?" They probably use context clues (and the presence / composition of the chamber's murals) to determine that the phrase is an allusion to Prometheus. This is probably something they realize rather quickly. What's important is that those two sentences should be the most concrete connection that the Foundation has between this SCP and the myth of Prometheus.

The second (and more important) question that the Foundation asks: "If it really is connected to Prometheus, then why is the flame different from regular fire?" In ancient Greek mythology, Prometheus was punished for giving fire to humans by having his liver pecked out by birds. What if humans were also punished for accepting his gift? Perhaps fire — instead of having the power of creation — now has the power to consume and destroy? This isn't a concrete idea, and I was thinking that this could be something a Foundation researcher hypothesizes.

Essentially, there isn't a direct connection to Prometheus, but there's just enough evidence (especially within the original site of discovery) to pique the Foundation's curiosity.

How does the Foundation experiment on the object? What experiments do they do?

+ Response

First, I should give a brief rundown of what the SCP actually does; the blue flame will "create" materials, based on what it's burning. The Foundation will probably begin with simple, inanimate objects. They'll try to burn wood first, which will cause the flame to slowly grow more wood, until the log becomes a large, amorphous lump of wood. They'll do the same thing with other materials, such as cloth, steel, and gold.

Next they'll test more complex objects — like a framed painting. Similar results will happen, as the painting will eventually grow into a mixed pile of glass, wood, canvas, and other stuff.

The most interesting test will be on a living subject. This will include an element of body horror — as the affects of the fire's material-creating properties will basically cause any living subject to grow tumor-like lumps of flesh and biological matter. I was debating whether or not the Foundation should test the SCP on a D-Class or just on a random animal, but that can be decided later.

Those were two of the bigger questions that I wanted to talk about. If there's anything more specific you'd like to ask, I'm all ears!

Last edited on 30 Jun 2021 19:03 by eggsalad Show more

Re: "Our First Gift" [Seeking Critique / Greenlight]

fairydoctor 03 Jul 2021 20:42

Heya! Came from PMs.

The short answer is maybe.

Personally, I'd just straight up make it blatantly the Prometheus myth.

What if humans were also punished for accepting his gift?

Now this is really interesting. This reads like a different take on the mythos. How did the gods punish humans? Who out of the gods did this? What's the story here? What happened? Is this like a pandora's box thing, where one human in specific was cursed but it held over onto all of the other humans too?

This will include an element of body horror — as the affects of the fire's material-creating properties will basically cause any living subject to grow tumor-like lumps of flesh and biological matter.

A story or mythos related to this can be referenced in the "Humans being punished for accepting the gift" thread.

I would like to know:

In two sentences the narrative of your story.

Re: "Our First Gift" [Seeking Critique / Greenlight]

eggsalad 05 Jul 2021 22:35

Hello, again! Here's some more insight / responses:

Personally, I'd just straight up make it blatantly the Prometheus myth.

I kinda wanted to hold off on this, since I really liked to create an air of mystery, but I've actually come up with some kind of retcon that will allow it to be a more direct connection. Besides, if it's more engaging that way, that's good!

How did the gods punish humans?

+ Here's an elaborate response, with a lot of extra details that I thought would be great.

Originally, I was going to have our current understanding of fire be the punishment. At first, I wanted the story to implicate that the SCP (the torch and the flame) was the original kind of fire that Prometheus gave to humans, and that fire was changed to what it is now as a punishment.

I gave this idea some thought and decided that it's not actually what I think would be the most interesting implication.

So, instead, what if it was the other way around? What the fire that we know and use today was the same fire that Prometheus gave to humans, and that the SCP is actually a kind of "punishment" created by the gods, akin to Pandora's Box? That would explain why the SCP's flames eventually turn things into large, misshapen masses of matter. The flames cause the order of humanity to devolve into an incoherent mess — and it instead becomes chaos.

What I'm thinking of now is that the Foundation originally believes that the first tale (the one I originally came up with) was the most likely theory, but they eventually discover the flame's true purpose.

As a side note, I also wanted to change the engravings found on the torch's pedestal to something else, most likely something that has to do with hubris (since that's both thematically important in this narrative and in most of Greek mythology). More brainstorming will be required to come up with a fitting phrase.

That's about what I could come up with now. As per usual, any criticism / feedback is appreciated.

EDIT: Forgot that last part! Here's how I'd sum up the narrative in two sentences:
The SCP Foundation discovers this SCP — an adorned torch bearing a blue light — that has unusual matter-creation properties. Through plenty of hypotheses, and through analysis of on-site clues, the Foundation discovers that the flame was intended to be used by the gods to punish humans for accepting the gift of fire from Prometheus.

Last edited on 06 Jul 2021 00:49 by eggsalad Show more

Re: "Our First Gift" [Seeking Critique / Greenlight]

fairydoctor 12 Jul 2021 03:02

Hey again! Sorry for the late response!

The SCP Foundation discovers this SCP — an adorned torch bearing a blue light — that has unusual matter-creation properties. Through plenty of hypotheses, and through analysis of on-site clues, the Foundation discovers that the flame was intended to be used by the gods to punish humans for accepting the gift of fire from Prometheus.

At the moment this reads like the run-down on your anomaly and how the Foundation found it. I'd like to know the story you want to tell with this! At the moment it feels like the punishment/hubris aspect is the central theme you want to focus on. Tell me more about this! How does the Foundation figure this out? Who figures it out? How is the flame tested? What shenanigans occur because of the flame?

Re: "Our First Gift" [Seeking Critique / Greenlight]

eggsalad 17 Jul 2021 05:11

Just got back from vacation. Here's what I have to say;

+ Open

I'm assuming what you're asking for is a rundown of the plot structure, which I can help out with. Here's the basic story:

The SCP is first discovered within a subterranean archaeological site near the Mediterranean, most likely in what is now Greece. The SCP is found inside a chamber, bearing murals along the wall, and an engraving on its pedestal that reads "Our first gift must die with our hubris."

Several things begin to happen at the same time — the Foundation contains the SCP (thus beginning testing) and the Foundation seizes control of the original discovery site.

What the article will first describe is the tests conducted with this SCP through various test logs. They will start with inanimate objects and materials — noting the effects of this SCP in great detail — until a test is conducted on a living subject. Next, the article will show a collection of e-mails between Foundation staff and a handful of archaeologists at the original discovery site; they will discuss their findings with each other.

Through these e-mail logs, Foundation personnel and the archaeologists (and, by extension, the reader) will gradually begin to make more connections between the test logs and what the workers find at the discovery site. These workers will inform Foundation staff of the contents of the chamber — including the message on the pedestal and the murals of Prometheus that line the walls.

This is where things become less pragmatic and more philosophical. The Foundation will try to bridge the connection between the SCP and Prometheus, and they will come to several conclusions before they determine their most accurate theory, which is what I stated earlier.

This is generally the entire story so far. I really like working with mystery, so some details will be intentionally left out unless they're needed for clarity.

I don't know which researchers should be assigned to what positions (or what names to give them). That's what I'll work on next if I reach the drafting stage.

Sorry for being so late! If there's anything else I want to add, I might do an edit or two. :]

Last edited on 25 Jul 2021 21:31 by eggsalad Show more