Wielka Altana

Summary:

The Fae Kingdom of Corbenic

Wielka Altana

GoldN4 21 Jun 2021 06:05

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: GoI Format

Genre: Drama/Emotional and Historical in a Foundation/Three Moon perspective

Page Layout: Examples of Format: Pravoslavia, Stella Secundus

Elevator Pitch: Not all the faeries escaped to the forest outside of normative space during the battle of the Factory in 1911. Many were killed. Those who die on Earth go to Corbenic. So it is safe to assume the same was for the dead of that battle. South of the Greenlead Woods is the resting place of all faerie that were slain during that fateful battle.

Central Narrative: The faerie have lived in Corbenic long before the appearance of Earth L1 in the sky and the founding of the Lunar Dawn Initiative. Many of them found solace in the new purposes and names that their new goddess gave them in Corbenic, but some still hold a grudge for the battle lost all those centuries ago.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: The faerie population is aware of the past life of the Three Moons Initiative, as all iterations of dead in that battle appear in Wielka Altana. Three Moons is aware of the possible threat that the faeries hold against the Initiative, but the history between their goddess and JALAKÅRA hold back an all-out war.

Additional Notes: While the faerie citizens of Wielka Altana will avoid direct conflict with the nation of Saklovai, they still will be a mild nuisance to the Three Moons and living iterations of the Foundation.

Re: Wielka Altana

GoldN4 03 Jul 2021 22:42

Working on the idea more. The narrative is a little tricky to get from the faerie's perspective, seeing as it is a document from the Three Moons Initiative.

A majority of the story would be told from the perspective of an agent of the Lunar Dawn Initiative on a surveillance mission whose team comes across Wielka Altana. During their time there they take notes of the region and learn the history and relationship of the faeries and their goddess.

Forum Criticism Team - Captain Post

Zyn 25 Jun 2021 06:46

Since this thread was on page 6 of the forum listing with no feedback yet, this is a quick reminder from staff for the author. Please remember to contact reviewers directly to request feedback as needed, if you haven't done so already.

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Re: Wielka Altana

fairydoctor 25 Jun 2021 17:26

Heya!

I really like that you're planning on doing a GoI format! The last I read about Corbenic was in early 2017, so I might need a quick synopsis. Regardless, where can I find example templates of the format?

Moving on,

Not all the faeries escaped to the forest outside of normative space during the battle of the Factory in 1911.

Is this a reference to SCP-4000?

[…]appearance of Earth L1 in the sky[…]

What is Earth L1?

Overall, I like concept but I would like to know more about Three Moons from your perspective before I can help more.

P.S. Feel free to PM me or find me on IRC if you respond to my post. I don't get a notification otherwise. Be sure to include a link to your thread in the PM.

Edit:
Per IRC chat:

fairydoctor: i wanted to ask you if you could summarise your narrative in two sentences?

GoldN4: The faeries that died fighting the Foundation at the factory came to Corbenic without their names and still hold a grudge. They found a Conbenese goddess that gave them new names and stop them from attacking the Three Moons when they appear.

I'm giving you a greenlight !

Last edited on 30 Jun 2021 06:36 by fairydoctor Show more

Re: Wielka Altana

GoldN4 26 Jun 2021 16:35

I sent you my notes in a PM, just posting them here for anyone else that wants to review.

+Came out longer than expected

Yes, the reference to SCP-4000 is intentional, but more-so to the Factory. It's mentioned in 4000 that only a few of the faerie managed to escape after the battle at the Factory, the rest were killed. When it comes to the scope of the Corbenese Kingdom though, they don't even know where the survivors are. Just that their not dead. As for Earth 1L (had it backwards in the post). That's the first iteration of Earth that became a moon in Corbenic after being transported there by SCP-3319. JALAKÅRA already sorted out a system to tell the different worlds apart.

When it comes to my ideas on the Three Moons, they are a much more strict and bureaucratic organization than the Foundation, the GOC and MC&D Ltd. combined. Ironic since they are that, but under the influence of a god who has a domain in bureaucracy, JALAKÅRA. They not only try to uphold morality among humans in the multiverse, but they try to do the same across Corbenic too. They could be seen as great aid or invaders to the other countries of Corbenic though. They also are bound to JALAKÅRA's will. So any action they take goes though him.

Getting deeper into headcanon territory. The way that things arrive in Corbenic is different geographically, depending on species. Humans just so happen to arrive in the giant desert, another place called the Blue Abyss exists where aquatic life arrives, as well as Bifrost where pets arrive. The faerie appear in an area near the Greenleaf Woods, which is where trees arrive. When Earth essentially died when transported by the Lotus, it went to where the dominate species would have arrived, but just over it.

After the Harvesting War with the striders, the Lunar Dawn Initiative extracted every possible resource out of the Earth and explored the world below. Over time they learned of other countries and the different princes/princesses of Corbenic, and found a way to send machinery to any of the living worlds with JALAKÅRA's help, including SCP-3319. Over time another Earth, 2L, activated it's Lotus and came to Corbenic, another Harvesting War with the striders. Rinse and repeat with Earth 2M for the third moon, each time with their tech getting much more advanced. Now they're capable of traveling to far off lands in Corbenic and have been doing diplomatic missions and military surveillance across the countless countries of the definitive afterlife.

I already have a good chunk of the details written out so far, I just have to put them to a sandbox.