Narrowly upvoted on the surveys - love the notion that the Foundation is their boogeyman, and by extension perhaps some of our anomalies are things just kinda observing us in a mututally exclusive way.
But why the massively strong containment, if they can't move while observed? Just leave the motion sensors on, that must count as observation surely. I'm probably just being dense.
Not bad, +1 for the surveys, though I do have two minor gripes. If it was found in Italy why can we be sure that the entities both speak English and accept dollars as a currency. Also wouldn't it have made more sense if the foundation asked for their full address in the survey? That would provide more information, allow the surveys to be matched to said addresses and entities, as well as raising less suspicion.
Both good point that hadn't occurred to me. I'll change it.
Wait, wouldn't the people wonder why the survey is asking for a full address but it got delivered to their mailbox at what is presumably their mailing address??
What happens when the Foundation tries to explore beyond the two roads of the block?
Also, how do the mannequins conceive of themselves? If any of them get injured, presumably they break or scratch, but don't bleed, so they know they're not human. Plus they don't age. Are there animal mannequins - dogs and rats made of resin?
It could be that, instead of moving when not seen, they jump to new positions at infrequent intervals, like a video with a very low framerate… but from their point of view all the intervening moments happen.
Anyway: easily upvoted.
What happens when the Foundation tries to explore beyond the two roads of the block?
SCP-2298 covers a space of 94 m2, and appears to be "boxed in", as the edges of the city block lead to solid plastic walls painted to look like a skyline. Further analysis reveals that the sky directly above SCP-2298 is also a ceiling placed 2 km above ground level.
Why are you so sure they remain as mannequins when you can't see them? :)
For some reason, the following passage really grates on me.
As of ██/██/██, attempts have been made to contact SCP-2298-1's. On ██/██/██, a letter written by Dr. █████ was placed within 26 of SCP-2298's mailboxes.
I think the text should be modified to read as follows:
On ██/██/██, contact with SCP-2298-1 instances was attempted through a survey by the Foundation front company S&C Plastics. Twenty-six copies of the survey were delivered; text is below.
I also find the prospect of a plastics company asking its customers about their belief in the paranormal odd, and I'm sure the 2298-1 instances would, too.
I'm also not to sure how I feel about one of these plastic dudes knowing about the Foundation. I mean, I can see why you'd have that as your "Oh shit!" moment, but that particular "Oh shit!" moment has been done before, specifically in the form of a skip that worships the Foundation because the Foundation accidentally did something good for them. I really wish I could remember the number offhand, because I liked that skip.
I was skeptic at the beginning since mannequins are kinda generic and overused. However I did like the notion that the Foundation poking around the place made them be the anomaly to the anomaly. It could have been explored a bit more with an extra survey or two, but it still works the way it does. I do find the surveys to be rather "unprofessional", if you catch my drift. Yeah it has the normal survey questions that you expect, but that last question seems too out of place. Maybe inch towards it more subtly from the previous questions so it doesn't stand out as much.
That last interview. What a clever way to get information from the inhabitants of an anomaly, though. I like this for that and for being something more than spooky, creepy mannequins. That said, the second footnote and the sentence preceding it could stand some rework, possibly excision (it's a little too explainy, and then it's over-explained with the footnote).
The door opens both ways.
This turned my upvote into a neutral vote.
Same here. It feels sort of like a scare chord rather than an organic extension of the premise. Nothing really builds up to it, and I'm left wondering how and why this individual knows about the Foundation.
Actually, it sort of feels like something that would be behind a poorly executed [DATA EXPUNGED].
Edit: Oh wait, just got it.
So, the tone of the final message is rather informal, which suggests that the writer is acting as an individual. Even if he had explored the Foundation's world with everything frozen, how did he discover the Foundation itself? Assuming he isn't constrained to a box the way we are when exploring, he would have to hunt down S & C Plastics, realize that it was a front1, then explore it to the point where he knew what was going on. All that would require time and leave traces on our side.
That's pretty much my idea of what could have happened, though currently there's nothing to reflect that. Perhaps some addenda or incident reports would help? Detailing how this individual managed to snoop around pretty much all of site-21?
Got a few thoughts, having trouble pinning them down. My apologies for the rambling mess you are about to be subjected to.
First, I think the article as it is now is fairly tightly written, and I'd be worried that an incident report would disrupt the flow. Put it after the surveys, and it could feel like a let down. Put it before and it runs the risk of reducing the impact of the "The door opens both ways" line.
If I were writing it, I'd probably thread references to an incident throughout, maybe once in the containment section, once in the description, then have the incident report be in another page, with a line like:
"investigation into a possible connection between SCP-2298-1 and 'incident blah' is ongoing"
Second, I'm imagining what the incident would look like. First obstacle the snooper would have to overcome would probably be a securely locked door. Overcoming that might take more than one trip, to get things like lockpicks or an axe. Or maybe they got lucky and came through while the door was open.
Once through, how do they go about searching?
Do they take the time to clean up after themselves when they are done?
Do they leave things like fingerprints (and if so, are they plastic)?
Why did they choose to let the Foundation know that they knew something was up? Would answering these questions detract from the mystery of the article?
How would the Foundation link the incident to 2298 (a battered down/lockpicked door might be a decent starting point)?
It would probably form the impetus for stronger security measures.
The more I think, the more I am interested in who the snooper is, and the less I can decide if I actually want to see it elaborated on.
I think the tone and concept are dead on, but I'm neutral on this one right now because of the mannequins. Kim Cattrall … Andrew McCarthy … James Spader … I just feel like "mannequins that stop moving when being observed" has kinda been done. Hopefully I'll build myself a bridge and get over it, because I really want to upvote this.
It's got good pieces to it, I like how the anomaly functions and that the mannequins have individual behaviors, and the concept works for me, but the surveys felt like a letdown. no vote.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!