The Debtor King and the Chest

Summary:

A chest leads to a medieval world ruled by a formerly destitute Hungarian man.

The Debtor King and the Chest

Dr Gills 25 Feb 2021 10:26

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): Drama/Emotional

Page Layout (Optional): Nothing extraordinary

Elevator Pitch: A chest that when opened is a portal to a medieval European castle and city. The citizens are all loyal and obedient to a King, who is a normal human from outside to chest.

Central Narrative: An explorative task force sent to investigate the inside is revered by the citizens, saying that all their past rulers have come from the porta. They eventually meet the king and discover that he was a destitute Hungarian man who discovered the chest in his attic while looking for things he could sell. He decided to escape reality inside and became revered by the people as a new king. The readers grow sympathetic to the King, before he suffers a heart attack in front of the task force.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: Exploration of an anomalous reality, interview with an interesting non-anomalous human, and a medical emergency in a difficult to recover situation.

+ show block

Additional Notes:
After the heart attack, I’m not exactly sure where I want to go with this. I have a few ideas.

Idea 1: The king is extracted successfully and survives, but in an effort to be nonlethal, an operative is captured. A mission is sent out to recover the operative and his equipment, including modern weaponry. The army ambushes using their new divine weapon, and then and tries to invade through the portal to take revenge on the gods and reclaim their king, who is still in treatment.

Idea 2: The king dies before medical attention can return, and the guards capture the operative who was performing CPR. The guards ambush the medical team, and the story wraps up similar to idea 1.

Idea 3: Completely different take, the king is already dead before they get there, and the guards try to appoint the task force as the new rulers, but a misunderstanding results in a bloodbath.

Idea 4: You tell me! If you have any alternative ideas you think work even better in this premise, I’d be happy to consider them.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 26 Feb 2021 07:22 by Zyn Show more

Re: The Debtor King and the Chest

Impperatrix 26 Feb 2021 04:55

Hi, I'm Flight Officer Impperatrix!

+ Let me take a look at your idea

First of all: if you're here, you looking for feedback. I can't say to you if I like idea X or Y, you should know the way you're going with this skip.

Focusing on the idea itself, the narrative is interesting until you simply kill the king with a heart attack. If you were killing him with a coup or after a battle with the Foundation it would be more interesting, but you're murdering an important character without a good reason. About the king, I suggest you focus on who's him and who are the previous monarchs. What they have in common? Why people from inside the box simply accept people from outside as their leaders?

Now, I also noticed that you spoke anything about the inhabitants of the chest. How are they? What differs them from common humans? What do they do? How is their society? You can also respond to questions about the chest. Who created it? Why? When? Where?

Chose the idea that better fits you and come back for feedbacks about it. If people think the narrative is weak, they will talk about it and then you come with another idea. The process of creativity is yours! You are the creator and the accountable for writing this article!

Good luck and good writing!

Last edited on 26 Feb 2021 04:55 by Impperatrix Show more