My first SCP Concept

SCP-6623 “The Man of the Bayou”

AussieGamer2589 24 Feb 2021 05:49

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): N/A

Page Layout (Optional): N/A

Elevator Pitch: A humanoid creature living in a swamp that can shapeshift and imitate animal noises

Central Narrative: It is discovered by foundation agents dispatched to the area after the disappearance of local fishermen and authorities. It is then captured and held at Site-19.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: It can shapeshift and imitate animal noises and body temperature. It also impales it’s victims when they enter a 4 meter radius of the subject. It also is made up of multiple different organisms forming a bigger organism, like how Polyps form coral. If a chunk of it’s flesh falls off, it will become another one, albeit much smaller, eventually growing into a full size one. It also has water in it’s containment cell that after three days, turns red and can heal the creature. Therefore the foundation has to clean and replace the water every 3 days to prevent this from occurring.

Additional Notes: Please tell me what else I should add if needed and give helpful feedback. It has been my dream to publish an SCP on the official website. I also know that Series VII is not open yet, and I am more than willing to wait for it to open so I can publish the SCP on the Mainlist.

Last edited on 10 Mar 2021 06:12 by AussieGamer2589 Show more

Forum Criticism Team - Captain Post

Zyn 24 Feb 2021 06:21

Author, per the required reading forum guidelines: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282684/required-reading:how-to-use-this-forum-ideas please fill out the concept template to seek feedback on your idea.

Remember to please edit your previous post using the "edit" function under the "options" tab to the lower right of your first comment rather than creating a new thread.

Once you have revised your post accordingly, please reach out to reviewers to request that they look at your thread. You can find a list of ways to contact reviewers in this thread: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews

Also, please note that Series VII is not yet open—if you post an SCP with a number above 5999 to the mainlist, it will be summarily deleted for being out of range.

Re: My first SCP Concept

cybersqyd 25 Feb 2021 09:33

I also know that Series VII is not open yet, and I am more than willing to wait for it to open so I can publish the SCP on the Mainlist.

As a note, Series VI is open and you can add the SCP to that list when it's ready; there's possibly also open slots in earlier series too but generally you're looking at something in series 6.

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At the end of the day, the big question this pitch raises in me is "So what are you actually doing with this?": you spend a bunch of time telling me exactly what the SCP does but like, what do the Foundation do? What does the article contain beyond just describing the SCP? How are you creating a sense of horror with this? What are the action scenes you may be including?

At the moment, this comes across as a generic murder monster and you're really going to have to do something more interesting with it than just that to make this work.

Re: My first SCP Concept

AussieGamer2589 26 Feb 2021 05:10

Thanks for the feedback. After brainstorming with some friends, I have added additional features to make the SCP more interesting and worthy of being an SCP.

Re: My first SCP Concept

cybersqyd 19 Mar 2021 11:29

At it's core, the changes you've made have made the anomaly more interesting but you still don't really do anything interesting with it yet. At the end of the day: a SCP article is a short story disguised as a technical report; and so you need to think about things like "who are the involved characters?", "what is the central conflict?" and "how does the story get concluded?". Since it's a SCP article, it's generally really worth considering how the Foundation fits in here; but it's also worth considering emotions too: how do you want to make a reader feel about this? What emotions are you wanting to invoke? Do we feel sympathy for the SCP? Fear towards it? Something else? How does this emotional response change over the story?

Idk if you've read many recent SCPs but it might be worth reading a bunch here: this has big series 1 vibes in that it's largely just, y'know, the SCP as a weird thing that exists; whereas nowadays, a lot of SCP writing is more focussed on telling interesting stories.

It might also be worth checking out the Comprehensive Guide Hub, which has a bunch of essays at the end about how narratives work in SCP articles and how to use the various storytelling elements that are present (e.g. interview logs etc.).

Re: My first SCP Concept

Impperatrix 26 Feb 2021 05:33

Hi, I'm Flight Officer Impperatrix!

+ And I'm here to make it clear

I think you didn't understand what cybersqyd was talking about. I don't know which SCP you have already read, but Series VI skips have narratives and stories within their articles. Your idea seems like a Series I skip, just a monster that kills and has a page saying what it is and how it kills.

I'll link two essays and two skips that I suggest you read as a way to think about your idea and how to improve it!

• Conservation of WTF — About how to create an abomination that's not too exagerated.
• An essay with a strange name! — About SCPs and Narratives.
• SCP-3456 — A bloodthirsty monster!
• SCP-5031 — A bloodthirsty monster subversion!

Good luck and good writing!

Re: My first SCP Concept

AussieGamer2589 10 Mar 2021 06:32

Thanks for the support. I now see what I have to do in order for this to work. If I were to make the narrative about someone encountering the creature and etc using the self insertion method, would this idea work?