From The Void

Summary:

An SCP I've been working on since 13th of November 2020.

[Seeking Greenlights] From The Void

UnknownNegative 17 Feb 2021 10:15

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Science Horror

Elevator Pitch: An entity twisted by the void, able to tame the void.

Central Narrative: A squad of Mobile Task Force Tau-5 agents were dispatched to investigate an anomalous area, upon arriving they split to investigate the building, and one lone agent was caught up in a rift that led to a dimension filled with nothing, yet a lot. A void that would burn anything but for some reason, has fused with the agent, because Tau-5 is made from the flesh of a dead god, and it may or may not have something to do with deities. The rift would be known as XXX-2.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: The agent lost consciousness inside the dimension, then woke up in the building, where the rift was supposed to be, but it closed at an unknown point in time. His squad finished their investigation, and the (now anomalous) agent's rebooting was impossible due to it being in another dimension, making data transfer impossible. The agent was then recovered and his anomalous traits were revealed. The anomalous agent would be known as XXX-1. I want it to be more than something random, I want it to bear at least a glimmer of importance, with it's own lore that would get the reader deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole, to piece it together, a handful of the main reasons for this would be Why does the O5 want it hidden so bad? and What was the fourth entity? It's hinted to a handful of times., What is inside XXX-2?, Where did it come from and what does it symbolize, what's it supposed to be?, Why did it not melt XXX-1 to cinders? and so on.

Additional Notes: I think my enthusiasm and hype got a bit out of hand. I Wrote a whole article on it, planning on making tales (Thrill genre). Never seen something like this before so I'd be happy if someone could let me know if I'm the first one to come up with such an idea. If this is gonna fail, my heart will sink so wish me luck.

The post has been re-written and the reviews from February are out of date, back then I didn't know how to put the whole (big) article in a few words.

There's just WAY too much to summarize without making a paragraph. It's my first article, worked on it since 12th November 2020. I don't know if I did enough, too much, or total shit.

The Sandbox is: http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/unknownnegative

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-UnknownNetative

Last edited on 04 May 2021 09:41 by UnknownNegative Show more

Re: From The Void

Impperatrix 18 Feb 2021 01:33

I'm Flight Officer Impperatrix…

+ And here is my crit!

Also if the general idea of it seems dull/vague it's because I'm bad at explaining general ideas of things.

I'll start with this because my job has a lot to do with it: Pitching is a VERY important skill. You need to train how to explain to people your ideas. You don't need to be a pro, but you need to communicate what is your idea to others.

I'll try to help you to create a better first post! I'm not a pro, but I'll try to be helpful.

An entity manipulated by the void, able to manipulate the void.

Here we have two objects that you need to explain:

• What is this entity? An entity can mean a lot of things: a ghost, an animal, a human, an abstract sentient being, etc. Try to describe a little about this entity.
• What is the void for this skip? The void can be nothingness, a limbo between dimensions, a reality gap. Describe what the void is here.

You'll have to share a little about what is the relationship between the entities. Yeah, one controls the other, but they are equals? And what is the need that created this relation? Love? Power? Solitude? Dominance?

Mobile Task Force Tau-5

I'm not very familiar with Tau-5, but from what I know about them, they are a "last measure" kind of team, a task force sent to a place where everything went as wrong as possible. Why does this specific team was needed for this mission?

an agent got pulled into a rift to an abyss-like dimension.

How? Why? It was a specific agent or a random one?

His squad finished their investigation, and the (now anomalous) agent's rebooting was impossible due to it being in another dimension, making data transfer impossible.

Two things:

• The Samsara agents are already anomalous. They are android clones of a deity. What changed within this guy for him to change?
• If he cannot communicate with the others, how anyone knows what is happening? They discover another way to communicate? Does the agent find a way out?

I got a little bit ahead of myself and I already made a whole article for it in a sandbox page…

My experience: don't start writing something that you know that you'll need greenlights before receiving greenlights. The article can be completely changed between your initial brainstorm and the second greenlight. This one is a piece of advice, but you do you!

I liked your idea, but a see a dangerous potential to self-inserting and overpower here. Be cautious if you're planning to do any of that. None of them are "EVIL" themselves, but they can become something bad quickly if not controlled.

Good luck and good writing!

Re: From The Void

UnknownNegative 21 Feb 2021 16:10

Hello,

Thank you for replying!

Here's the answers:

The entity is a human, specifically, a Tau-5 agent.

It's not really a "void", I just can't find a right term to describe a "dimension" composed out of a highly corrosive substance("slime" like).

Yes, they are a last measure task force, the idea behind the anomaly is, during the Tau-5 mission at Site-13, a cognitohazard manipulated one of the passing agents towards the room it was located in, then it opened the rift inside of the room, which pulled both the agent and the entity into it, like an outer space (fictional) vacuum, shortly after, closing.

The agent was completely random, natural selection.

+ show block

The substance would've normally dissolved him, but that's one of the main questions here: HOW or WHY did it not? The substance, being a slime, sticks to things, and while in large quantities it can cause severe injuries, but in small quantities it can only melt through a few thin plates of steel; It's like - take 999 as an example, a living slime, but this is able to splash into multiple, a hivemind. The "slimes" also, when they "feel" "eachother" around, they will attempt to combine to form a bigger "slime", pulled together by something similar as a magnetic force. In the dimension, the substance melted away through the agent's skin and flesh and then stopped for unknown reasons, but kept the agent in question covered in the substance, other "slimes" trying to pull to the "ones" covering the agent, got cut off by the armor plating, and formed a covering of the substance. Through unknown means, the hivemind and the agent are able to telepathically "communicate" (say, the substance covered a sword that is being wielded by the agent, the substance will determine what the agent expects/wants to happen with the substance when the sword slices someone, if the agent intended to hurt that someone, the substance will heat up and turn to a much more "sticky" substance that will melt away along with what it needs to hit ["victim"/"target"]. If the someone wasn't injured with intention, the substance will stick to the hit mark, and alter itself to replicate the tissue/material of what was damaged.

Nobody knew what happened to him, that's why he was presumed dead. He was removed from the dimension presumably by the same entity that manipulated him in the first place.

He's still conscious, self-aware and is completely "fine" (aside from having the new anomalous traits).

Thank you for your advice, and, tho I wished you would see the sandbox page, I guess this idea's over since nobody else is replying, I'm having trouble with the IRC chatrooms and I can't reach out to anyone to review it.

I put my best foot forward in this, as the guide told me to, but welp.

Thank you, and goodbye.

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-UnknownNetative

Last edited on 22 Feb 2021 14:59 by UnknownNegative Show more

Forum Criticism Team - Junior Staff Post

Truc Linh 22 Feb 2021 02:08

I guess this idea's over since nobody else is replying, I'm having trouble with the IRC chatrooms and I can't reach out to anyone to review it.

Have you tried reaching out to anyone listed in the HOW TO GET MORE REVIEWS thread (http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews)?

If you have already reached out to multiple reviewers, please don’t hesitate to contact a staff member for further assistance. Staff members should be able to assist you with pairing you up with a reviewer and help with IRC chat issues.

Last edited on 22 Feb 2021 02:14 by Truc Linh Show more

Re: Forum Criticism Team - Junior Staff Post

UnknownNegative 22 Feb 2021 14:57

I tried IRC, but it tells me I need an "authorized" or "registered" account or something like that, I can't remember exactly.

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-UnknownNetative

Re: Forum Criticism Team - Junior Staff Post

cybersqyd 22 Feb 2021 15:21

Yeah, you need to register on IRC to access #thecritters: the Chat Guide explains how to do this.

UnknownNegative 03 May 2021 20:43

Okay, I finally got it to work. Did the exact same thing and now it works, welp. Probably some loose screw in the email thing. I'll see if anybody will review it, and even if this thread is ended now, I'd still like if you'd give it a read, and considering that I don't get notifications on news on this thread, I'll give you the link http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/unknownnegative and I'll check back in on this thread in a few days. As the guide said, I put my best foot forward and put a few good months perfecting it, some issues might still be, such as a few slips of the style of writing, if you find any, please tell me in your response and I'll be sure to cover them the moment I read your reply.

I also hid a secret entry in it, tell me if you find it!

If you're gonna review it, thanks in advance.

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-UnknownNetative