He who materilazes his dreams

Summary:

Leave criticism and ideas in the comments!

He who materilazes his dreams

A_Fractal 01 Feb 2021 19:50

Seeking Greenlights: Yes.

Page Type: SCP Article.

Page Layout: Basic description and containment procedures. Numerous addendums and researcher logs. Also several field reports from containment reaches and psyc evals.

Genre: Mystery, Drama

Elevator Pitch: A former MTF and field agent was captured by CI forces. After being recovered he began to display anomalous properties. When SCP-XXXX is non-conscious/dreaming aspects of his dreams materialize. This provides a unique challenge to containment. However, these materialized dreams are not permanent and dissolve/disappear over time. The actual materialization appears to be completely random and can range from a hail of bullets flying in random directions to a dog.

Central Narrative: The Narrative will show the psychological affects of an MTF agent basically being a POW and how it affects him "being on the otherside of the table", now being an SCP. It will also show the foundation trying unique and out of the box thinking to contain the anomaly, as it is not the easiest to contain.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: The "hook" would be the Foundation's numerous attempts and methods of Containment. It could also be seen as a race of sorts as the foundation quickly tries to find new and unique ways to contain SCP-XXXX before he has a very vivid and potentially deadly dream.

Additional Notes: I am more than willing to adapt this article for green light! Please tell me any changes I should make!

Last edited on 01 Feb 2021 19:52 by A_Fractal Show more

Forum Criticism Team - Captain Post

Zyn 03 Feb 2021 05:43

Since this thread was on page 6 of the forum listing with no responses, this is a quick staff reminder to the author that if you haven't yet, you should contact reviewers directly to request feedback as needed.

Please refer to this thread for more information: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews

If you have already reached out to multiple reviewers and received no reply, notify a staff member for assistance finding a reviewer.

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

Naepic 04 Feb 2021 23:13

The idea of someone becoming anomalous and being on the other side of containment is, while not new, always ripe for new interpretations and articles.

The issue with dreams is that you need to maintain the suspension of disbelief, since it's both a complex topic as well as one yet to be fully understood. Dreams are, per the words of its Wikipedia article, "generally highly phantasmagoric." Having something stay coherent while still interacting with the real world in a manner that is familiar to us is something that will stretch one's suspension of disbelief a lot, because we know that's not how dreams are meant to work. Yes, we can have some semblance of narrative and action in our dreams, but rarely do they interact in like we expect them to do: if someone were to fire a bullet inside a dream and it hits a wall, the reader would be more inclined to believe that the perspective of the narrator suddenly shifts to that of the bullet itself instead of remaining at the shooter's view.

Furthermore, you'll need to establish for yourself how much you're willing to handwave away: do you include both REM and NREM dreaming, seeing as the contents of both can vary drastically? Is the Foundation competent enough to minimize risks or do they stumble? Do they reach out to the Oneiroi Collective or do they maintain their own personal method for dealing with this. Why did the CI experiment on this agent rather than one of their own?

For now, I'll give this a tentative greenlight, because of how much potential such an idea has, but you need to establish clearly for yourself what you will and won't include or address.

Last edited on 06 Feb 2021 18:29 by Naepic Show more

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

caspian2 27 Feb 2021 03:00

Summoned via PM:

The premise is interesting, but I'm gonna need extra details and elaboration on your Central Narrative.

The Narrative will show the psychological affects of an MTF agent basically being a POW and how it affects him "being on the otherside of the table", now being an SCP. It will also show the foundation trying unique and out of the box thinking to contain the anomaly, as it is not the easiest to contain.

Basically, give us the beat-by-beat details of this. What exactly are these "psychological affects"? How does it "affect him"? How is the Foundation "unique"?

If you decide to revise the concept / respond below, do drop me another PM and I'll try to reply. Best of luck!

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

A_Fractal 01 Mar 2021 07:21

Hey Cas! Thanks for the response! Below is the beat-by-beat.

After recovery, the former MTF member, who I will now refer to as SCP-X, will be more than ecstatic to be saved by the foundation. However, he will quickly began to get angry and frustrated as the foundation doesn’t believe his testimonies and retelling of events. After a duo of deadly containment breaches, the foundation will take a more serious and un-empathetic look at SCP-X. SCP-X will began to feel more and more alone as he truly begins to discover what it’s like to be on the other side of the table. After a third containment breach, SCP-X will be transferred to Area-14 which will add a whole new low for his moral. After a fourth containment breach, the foundation will begin to pursue termination. This completely breaks SCP-X who realizes things will never recover. They quickly find out termination is impossible as SCP-X attempts suicide to no affect. The foundation comes up with a unique containment idea and places him in a remote island, with an attached MTF, far away from any foundation facility. Here, SCP-X will begin slowly begin to reassemble, mentally, and come to terms with what/he who is.

During this story I want to strive to add a mystery element. I stated that the foundation did not believe or trust SCP-X after a while. The reader might not as well. This will be attempted through the main story being told through the foundation’s perspective. However, I will also attach journal entries by SCP-X. This will let the reader decide if SCP-X is telling the truth or is an embedded agent or went completely insane before the foundation rescued him.

If you feel confident in this story, would you mind green lighting? I need only one more. Thanks!

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

caspian2 02 Mar 2021 03:22

Hey there,

Thanks for your elaboration. This is a fine narrative to have, structurally, but my main concern is that I don't see the connection to the MTF's anomalous properties.

When SCP-XXXX is non-conscious/dreaming aspects of his dreams materialize.

How does this power affect the beats in the story? Why doesn't the Foundation initially believe him (it's kinda their job to investigate the anomalous). Why does SCP-x start to feel more and more alone? Why does this drive him to suicide?

Basically, you've described a narrative here without explaining how the anomaly affects it.

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

A_Fractal 02 Mar 2021 05:19

Hey Cas! I see what you’re saying and I apologize for not drawing a clear connection.

SCP-X’s anomalous properties directly affect the story in every way. To address your first question, the foundation doesn’t believe his retellings/perspective because they think he is completely insane due to suffering from severe mental trauma/illness or is a spy.This train of thought happens naturally throughout the narrative. First, SCP-X actively displays signs of PTSD, split personality syndrome, and Immense Bipolarism. During extreme PTSD episodes, the Anomalous properties of SCP-X can manifest. The foundation initially is sympathetic but annoyed that SCP-X is unable to answer questions. After SCP-X’s first minor containment breach, the SCP Foundation begins to entertain that SCP-X is deliberately not answering their questions. This is because after, SCP-X gives two opposing accounts of what happened during the breach during two separate interviews. Throughout the interviews, SCP-X has tonal and emotional mood swings. After the second containment breach, which is far deadlier and results in a decent loss of life, the foundation begins being committed to the train of thought of SCP-X no longer being loyal to foundation or sound of mind. This is were the Anomalous properties of SCP-X come into play as they are the direct cause of these events. this is were SCP-X’s moral begins to drop as he doesn’t see the foundation not trusting, he sees the foundation abandoning him. This eventually affects him so much, as the foundation was his life, to attempt suicide when he realized there was no going back to normal. Obviously it doesn’t work.

I hope this explains how the Anomalous properties are shown through the narrative. They aren’t the focus however, they are reason the narrative happens in the first place as they cause the foundation to stop trusting SCP-X and SCP-X’s spiral downward. If you have any questions, ideas, or revisions please reply. Also reminder this is a green light request. Thanks!

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

caspian2 03 Mar 2021 02:58

I hope this explains how the Anomalous properties are shown through the narrative. They aren’t the focus however, they are reason the narrative happens in the first place as they cause the foundation to stop trusting SCP-X and SCP-X’s spiral downward.

This is basically my issue with the narrative. Notice it can be applied to almost any other scp out there and you would have the same story about an MTF's psychological spiral. The story is disconnected with your anomaly, but it doesn't have to be.

they think he is completely insane due to suffering from severe mental trauma/illness or is a spy.

For example, can you link this trauma to the idea of dreams? Do your research here and find out why people have hallucinogenic episodes after they experience trauma.

The foundation initially is sympathetic but annoyed that SCP-X is unable to answer questions. After SCP-X’s first minor containment breach, the SCP Foundation begins to entertain that SCP-X is deliberately not answering their questions.

Similarly, how does the manifestation of dreams affect these beats? Are there specific things SCP-X dreams off that threaten the Foundation's security, for example?

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

A_Fractal 06 Mar 2021 01:05

Hey Cas! Sorry for the late response, real life can be a hassle sometimes.

I just wanted to clarify, while the dreams can be anything, the most serious are the manifestations of trauma. I did research, like you requested, and discovered that most of these happen during REM sleep. This means that SCP-X would vividly remember these occurrence. The trauma could be anything from a unit of chaos soldiers from a fire fight, a Cognito-Hazard, or even another SCP that SCP-X has experience with. It’s important to remember that the manifested dreams fade overtime (the speed of which depends) but, they all do fade and disappear. This links the spiral to trauma and the trauma to the dreams and the dreams to the spiral. Is there anything you else you would like to recommend? Also remember this is a green light request. Thanks!

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

caspian2 10 Mar 2021 03:29

Those are all possible options. But I will need you to modify the original post at the top of the page once you've decided on the narrative you want.

Also remember this is a green light request. Thanks!

I am aware of this. Your concept is not ready for a greenlight, imo.

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

A_Fractal 23 Apr 2021 02:15

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Last edited on 23 Apr 2021 06:39 by Zyn Show more

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

caspian2 23 Apr 2021 03:34

Hi there, a few more notes below. generally, I would recommend cutting down the number of addenda; making the flow of information as essential and tight as possible.

(INSERT PERSONAL FILE): General description of physical appearance, weight height etc, and history such as birthday, college etc

This, for example, could be included in the earlier Description segment.

+ show block

(INSERT CASE FILE): An official timeline of the events in Case 4022

What is Case 4022? Is this the discovery log?

(Recovered Journal, SCP-XXXX-A1 from SCP-XXXX): SCP-XXXX talks about he had no idea what happened he just woke and his cell was a wreck and the guard was unconscious. He claims he left to find the Site Hospital.

We talked about this before - what's the relation here to the scp's anomalous properties (i.e. what does he dream of that results in this situation?).

(Emails/Messages between Site Director and Chief of Security): COS demanding from SD that SCP-XXXX be moved to an actual containment chamber.

Generally, these "in-between" logs do not need to be included. They take up space and unnecessarily break the flow of the main narrative. You can, for example, condense this into a simple foreword/afterward after each log.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

I would highly recommend writing the main narrative first (SCP-xxxx's containment breaches and subsequent journal entries) before adding additional logs that might weight the article down. Overall, as discussed over Discord, I have a good sense of where you're taking the story. Here's your second greenlight. All the best with the drafting!

Last edited on 23 Apr 2021 06:39 by Zyn Show more

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

Dr Hajovsky 27 Feb 2021 05:37

Hi there A_Fractal, let's take a look at your concept.

+ show block

Overall:
While the narrative of the Foundation trying increasingly elaborate and strange methods of containing the MTF's dreams is a fun idea, it's doesn't really leave room for a proper conclusion or theme. Seeing the Foundation struggle against a difficult task and overcome it is entertaining, but it's always the meaning behind overcoming a struggle that gets a reader invested. Right now, I feel the article is missing out on some of its potential, so I'll suggest some ways in which you can expand upon what you've laid out.

Specific:

A former MTF and field agent was captured by CI forces. After being recovered he began to display anomalous properties.

It's not really made clear here how he was recovered or why the CI made him this way. This isn't something that would be vital for the article's success, but it should at least be explained in a believable fashion.

The "hook" would be the Foundation's numerous attempts and methods of Containment. It could also be seen as a race of sorts as the foundation quickly tries to find new and unique ways to contain SCP-XXXX before he has a very vivid and potentially deadly dream.

While I'm pretty optimistic when it comes to the Foundation's practices, if a dangerous anomaly that could cause large scale damage or fatalities proved uncontainable, they would likely consider termination. I would scale back the danger of the dreams so this doesn't become an issue that could hinder the story.

Advice:

The Narrative will show the psychological affects of an MTF agent basically being a POW and how it affects him "being on the otherside of the table", now being an SCP.

This. This right here should be the main focus of the concept and expanded upon IMO. Seeing the shift from being a known member of staff to being contained as an anomaly is a concept that has loads of potential. Maybe the MTF would reflect on how they've treated or neutralized past anomalies and feel somewhat guilty. Maybe he can find a newfound respect for the researchers who devote themselves to the anomalies, as he believed that the real work was done out in the field by the MTFs. The possibilities with this set up are limitless and all of them are entertaining if written well. I would focus on showing us the inner thoughts of someone who once worked for the Foundation and is now locked up, and have the attempts to contain the dreams support that narrative. Maybe the dreams become darker as the MTF slowly loses hope that he'll ever be able to leave containment?

Feel free to contact me through PM if you have any questions or would like me to do a follow up, as I might not see it otherwise. Good luck with your concept!

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

A_Fractal 01 Mar 2021 07:32

Hey Dr! Thanks for replying to my story. Real quickly, I’m going to give a beat-by-beat so you can understand what the narrative looks like right now.

After recovery, the former MTF member, who I will now refer to as SCP-X, will be more than ecstatic to be saved by the foundation. However, he will quickly began to get angry and frustrated as the foundation doesn’t believe his testimonies and retelling of events. After a duo of deadly containment breaches, the foundation will take a more serious and un-empathetic look at SCP-X. SCP-X will began to feel more and more alone as he truly begins to discover what it’s like to be on the other side of the table. After a third containment breach, SCP-X will be transferred to Area-14 which will add a whole new low for his moral. After a fourth containment breach, the foundation will begin to pursue termination. This completely breaks SCP-X who realizes things will never recover. They quickly find out termination is impossible as SCP-X attempts suicide to no affect. The foundation comes up with a unique containment idea and places him in a remote island, with an attached MTF, far away from any foundation facility. Here, SCP-X will begin slowly begin to reassemble, mentally, and come to terms with what/he who is.

+ show block

During this story I want to strive to add a mystery element. I stated that the foundation did not believe or trust SCP-X after a while. The reader might not as well. This will be attempted through the main story being told through the foundation’s perspective. However, I will also attach journal entries by SCP-X. This will let the reader decide if SCP-X is telling the truth or is an embedded agent or went completely insane before the foundation rescued him.

Since it’s a story of two completely different perspectives, a huge emphasis will be put on SCP-X’s journals as they are the main showing of what SCP-X is showing. There will also be psychological evolutions, but those are by the foundation, and interviews. I completely agree with you that the former POW and other side of the table aspect is the most important mechanisms and plan to focus on them. The dreams are a way of making that happen. SCP-X doesn’t break mentally because of his powers, he breaks because he realizes things will never be normal and feels the turned their backs on him. He only recovers when he accepts that fact and comes to terms with the foundation having to contain him and treat him like an anomaly.

Reminder: This is a green light request so if you’re confident with the idea and narrative please drop a green light! If you have any issues or think there should be narrative change, please DM me or drop a reply! I want this be good. Thanks!

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 01 Mar 2021 07:56 by Zyn Show more

Re: He who materilazes his dreams

Dr Hajovsky 24 Mar 2021 16:58

Summoned Back Via PM

+ show block

I like the narrative you've set up here, but I'd have to agree with caspian2 in that the dream aspect doesn't have much to do with how the rest of the narrative plays out. My problem is that as of right now you could swap the materializing dreams property with anything else and it wouldn't change how the emotion of the article plays out. You haven't outlined any story beats besides the containment breaches that are the direct result of the MTF's dreams materializing. I feel like my sentiment is best expressed here:

The dreams are a way of making that happen. SCP-X doesn’t break mentally because of his powers, he breaks because he realizes things will never be normal and feels the turned their backs on him.

You say the dreams are key to exploring the other side of the table concept, but it turns out it's not the newfound powers that break him, it's the other aspects of his situation. This is a good take, but it further sidelines the dream aspect. I'd like to see the aspect of dreams more thoroughly incorporated into the narrative, or perhaps replaced or removed.

In any case, I really like the story. And while it's a little predictable, it does a good job of exploring one of my favorite narrative concepts. The thing is, there's just so much of it that the article basically centers more around the narrative and the emotion rather than the anomaly. Maybe you could make this a tale instead of an article? You could better incorporate the different povs, events, and location changes with the added bonus of not being weighed down by the description of the anomaly.

This is a green light request so if you’re confident with the idea and narrative please drop a green light!

I know it's a greenlight request, but I'd like to see further revisions here as well as a plan regarding how you plan to further integrate or remove the dream aspect before I feel comfortable greenlighting.

I'll try to be more active on the site in the future, but my schedule is still really tight right now, so please excuse any large delays in responses.