Twinportation

Twinportation (Seeking Greenlight)

Randolph Carter1 01 Dec 2020 19:15

Seeking Greenlights: Yes.

Page Type: SCP Article

Elevator Pitch: A set of twin beds that allow teleportation in between them. Sleeping in one bed will cause you to wake up in the other, regardless of distance between the two. The sleeper feels no change during the night, and cameras and surveillance of the bed during transport show the sleeper just vanishing.

Central Narrative: None.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: A bed used by the foundation to transport quickly across long distances.

Additional Notes: Not an extremely deep entry, but I just think it sounds good.

Last edited on 01 Dec 2020 19:20 by Randolph Carter1 Show more

Re: Twinportation (Seeking Greenlight)

MrCrompsky 01 Dec 2020 19:32

Hello! (Not a greenlighter)
Your SCP seems like a “thing that does a thing” witch is generally frowned upon in the ideas forum. I suggest you add some story to it to make it more appealing.

JS Staff Post -- Forum Crit -- Info

KaraKatt 01 Dec 2020 19:35

Howdy hey MrCrompsky,

As per the site Criticism Policy, forum critique should be relatively in-depth. Please edit your post to give the author a clearer direction to follow and note how your suggestions will improve their material. If you are unsure about approaching a more in-depth critique, feel free to let an experienced reviewer respond first so your critique can build on theirs.

For more information on giving critique in the Ideas Critique forum, please look at this thread.

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Author,

I suggest reaching out to someone on the Butterfly Squad Roster to seek additional critique on your idea.

Thank you.

Re: Twinportation (Seeking Greenlight)

Randolph Carter1 01 Dec 2020 19:53

Thanks. I'll try and change it to be more appealing.

Re: Twinportation (Seeking Greenlight)

blazerboy69420 01 Dec 2020 20:36

Like the other person in the thread said, this is just another "thing that does a thing". The concept itself is also just uninteresting, some beds that teleport you when you sleep? That's it? Are you not gonna expand upon where these people go? Why beds? And how would the Foundation even use it for teleportation? Can multiple people be on the same bed and still be transported? You never specified if it can be used to travel to your desired location, which if that is the case then you should add this stuff in the elevator pitch. You do know people aren't just up to sleep on the fly right? Assuming you have to actually sleep and be tired for this thing to work then this would be generally another usefully-useless anomaly. You also have to consider the fact that almost every article on Series VII is practically required to have a narrative to actually make it unique and the fact that you don't have one for this, which is an already lacking and pale idea is a little alarming.