Medicine Man - first scp idea

Summary:

My first scp idea (seeking greenlight). About a sculpture that invades one's consciousness

Medicine Man - first scp idea

screempy 25 Nov 2020 18:57

My first scp idea (seeking greenlight). About a sculpture that invades one's consciousness when activated. This new consciousness has a vast knowledge of chemistry and biology.

I moved and trimmed your thread summary, since it was taking up extra space in the main forum screen. Try to keep thread descriptions (the text in the little box under the thread title) and titles short so you don't crowd out other authors in the forum listing. ~Zyn

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Elevator Pitch:

• The Medicine Man is a sculpture that activates when an individual lowers their guard or gets distracted within the statue's area of effect. The victim is unaware of this, but will see the manifestation of the sculpture's consciousness (as in "its soul"), which calls itself The Medicine Man. Once confronted with the medicine man, said individual will never be able to fully focus/concentrate again (unknowingly), which makes the individual more vulnerable to the sculpture's effect. When exposed to the statue for too long, one could enter a comatose state or develop Alzheimer's.

+ show block

• When trying to prevent an individual from totally succumbing to the medicine man by attempting to improve their ability to focus with external forces (caffeine, adrenaline injection, etc.), Medicine Man will switch said individual's consciousness with itself, trapping the individual consciousness in the statue. Medicine Man can then host a body until it finds another statue to reside in.

Central Narrative:
Medicine Man traveled from sculpture to sculpture, while leaving behind a trail of corrupted minds. This is how the foundation found him.
Inside the foundation, Medicine Man is appreciated for its vast amount of knowledge about chemistry and biology and is sometimes given a host to be interviewed by researchers.

Hook/Attention-Grabber:
Opposite of cognitohazard that corrupts the mind without the victim knowing, which I personally find quite creepy

Additional Notes:
I had already started a draft in the sandbox because I didn't know i needed a greenlight.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 26 Nov 2020 04:01 by Zyn Show more

Re: Medicine Man - first scp idea

Kernal 26 Nov 2020 00:13

It just feels boring, basic, and not a good fit for the site.

The Bold Statement says my first thought of this SCP, and without further statements, here's the review.

The Review

The Pitch
It just feels boring, and outdated. It did not peak my interest what so ever. It didn't make me think, Huh, that's a neat SCP Idea, I just read it and grew more bored of the concept with every sentence. A sculpture is an something that has been used many times of the Wiki, as doing a simple tag search I found 55 SCPs that revolve around a Sculpture as an SCP, So already, that's a problem, you could find another object, any other object, and I would be fine. And for it to revolve around you dropping your guard just feels very "SCP-173" like, it's too similar.
Now the way the Sculpture has its anomalous effect is that you lose attention in the Sculpture, that just sounds very basic, and boring. Now, to where the Medicine Man switches to another sculpture, why not just contain him when he's switching? Don't add shit where he's "Impossible to contain." Cause then that's going to make this entire SCP just feel like a child's piece of literature. Also how the fuck would the SCP Foundation know if a Sculpture has a consciousness? As you make it seem like you make a person an object that can't move, speak, breathe, touch, blink, etc. Well how would anyone know that the Sculpture was conscious?

Central Narrative
Oh boy, this is what pissed me off the most out of your Idea, the fact that you think the Foundation would Attempt to recruit a semi-dangerous SCP who tells people they have lost the ability to concentrate, and could switch a person to an eternal hell of not moving, is a damn ludicrous thought! They would secure this SCP down in a single room, maybe test it a bit, and they would probably never use it again. The SCP site is a prison, not a place of recruitment or a hotel, but a place of exploitation, research, and containment. If an SCP shows any sign of being dangerous, I would think it's safe to assume that they would never want to use it for the good, as any SCP could have undiscovered traits that could cause major harm to the world.

Conclusion
I may have been harsh, and this may be your first SCP Idea, but it just doesn't seem to fit for a modern like SCP, maybe a few years ago the site would let this fly but times have changed.

Forum Criticism Team - Staff Post

RockTeethMothEyes 26 Nov 2020 04:14

Kernal, this crit is unnecessarily harsh and is a violation of our rules, notably don't be a dick.

It didn't make me think, Huh, that's a neat SCP Idea, I just read it and grew more bored of the concept with every sentence.

Don't add shit where he's "Impossible to contain." Cause then that's going to make this entire SCP just feel like a child's piece of literature. Also how the fuck would the SCP Foundation know if a Sculpture has a consciousness?

Oh boy, this is what pissed me off the most out of your Idea

Do not continue this pattern of behavior. If you are going to continue to leave reviews on people's work, take the time to re-examine your phrasing. There is no reason to get this upset over someone's idea.

Re: Medicine Man - first scp idea

screempy 26 Nov 2020 09:58

Ok, so, first of all, i just want to say thank you for taking your time to read and review my idea.
I appreciate you pointing out the things you didn't like, but it didn't seem like you even tried to see something in it that you did like. I understand that it might not be fit for your standards or taste, but you could at least try to help me improve my concept.
Personally, i really like mind-corrupting SCPs (like SCP-040-JP) and i thought i could make my own. You clearly stated that this might not be a good idea. Then what would be a good idea? Because i'm really willing to put in some more effort into this concept, in order to improve it.
If you see this message, could you just point out the things you see some potential in, whether you liked it or not?
Thanks anyway