MEDIC

MEDIC

doneedanickname 29 Sep 2020 13:39

Seeking Greenlights:Yes

Page Type:Tale

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Elevator Pitch:In a place like the Foundation, you are not gonna come across minor 1st degree burn wounds or slight fevers, you are gonna find wormholes in your arm sockets and crystals out of your shoulders. In the universally micro small chance you survive this stuff and do not die immediately, you need to be treated. But no normal surgeon could ever heal that stuff, at least with the outside world's tech. In the Foundation, we have our own, more advanced and maybe slightly strange, ways of healing your missing arms and eyeballs. In this tale, we'll be focusing on the daily tasks of different medical teams from Site-19 and Site-17.

Central Narrative:In this tale, we'll be focusing on the daily tasks of different medical teams from Site-19 and Site-17. We'll see the doctors be tired of being underappreciated, saving D-class whenever they can, and seeing their heroic acts in the events of breaches(maybe).

Hook: Doctors seem to not be a really thought of subject in the foundation. I've always thought to myself; "If we have anomalous monsters and items, can we have anomalous injuries?" Thus, this may interesting as it is not a common subject in tales and such, and only told of in the background and never in focus for more than a paragraph.(Other than some tales and such here and there)

Additional Notes:I may be wrong about the hook section. I'm not too sure of it, but I myself read many tales and can say that MOST of them can be described into it. I will accept all critique. Thank you for your time. :)

Last edited on 30 Sep 2020 06:49 by doneedanickname Show more

Re: MEDIC

YellowISlol 30 Sep 2020 04:17

Due to lack of post on this article, I'm reviewing to bring this back up to the first page.

Right away, this is interesting. I personally am not an avid tale reader, but this seems interesting and unique. Some interesting cross-links would suit this article nicely(don't just cross-link series 1 plz). However, it'd be better if you only focused on one site, as it would make the reader less confused when the sites switched. Your hook seems ight, so I'll skip over that. My biggest problem is the lack of detail of the tale itself. If you have a sandbox, I'd love to see it. However, even here, you need to provide even at least brief detail of the plans you have to take with the tale, such as a doctor, and some of the anomalous injuries that'll be tended.

PM me for re-review, good luck and happy writing!

~Yellow

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~~~🐜Ant boi baby🐜~~~

Re: MEDIC

Pedagon 30 Sep 2020 05:27

Hey doneedanickname!

Pedagon here from the Team of the Oinks! I'm here to be your critter!!

Much like YellowISlol, I'm not an avid tale reader. However, I do find this incredibly interesting. So I hope you will accept my critique :)

+ Roses and Thorns

Roses:

The proposal

Seriously. The whole thing you have proposed here is honestly fantastic and I am so excited to see it develop. Your dive into the world of the Foundation from this perspective will bring some very interesting worldbuilding to a site that has spent 12 years doing all worldbuilding.
Thorns:

Everything not in the proposal.

Unfortunately, your information not included in the article leaves me worrying about how you will execute this idea effectively. What gives you insight into the lives of these doctors and makes you the right person to tell this story? This doesn't need to be some big thing like you being an irl doctor or something, I just want to know what draws you to tell this story and how you will make it work effectively. I also want to know how you will write this tale and show these narrative points. Will you be writing it in the style of a journal? Psychologist reports? Fully narrative like a short story? etc. What do you envision for this article and how do you see it existing on the site?

I'm looking forward to hearing back from you! :)

-Brian

Re: MEDIC

doneedanickname 30 Sep 2020 06:35

Alright, I want to first thank you for the nice critique you have given me, which I really appreciate. Now I will address your concerns.

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1: Why I think I can write this tale.
I am always interested in things related to the medical field such as Diseases and their Cures, as well as surgical procedures and the tools doctors use. I have looked through some information in the field of medicine (Although I am not a doctor) such as using Wikipedia to research diseases as well as watching videos on how people perform surgery and yada yada. I am not extremely well versed in the subject, but know just enough to be able to tell a story about this field.

2: How I will write it.
Now this is an interesting point. Basically, I will write it like this. Short paragraphs of story for about 5 doctors doing their day to day activities, or not so common activities, such as healing D-Class to researching a very complicated disease and how to cure/prevent it. Each Doctor will have a different role in their activities, such as a Therapist helping a traumatized MTF guard to a Surgeon helping a fellow researcher by crafting a robotic leg for them. This will be much improved on as I write the tale, but I hope it will be up to this site's standards!

3: How I envision it being on the site
I hope that the characters I introduce in this story can be used as a recurring character for other tales/articles and become a interesting and known characters like maybe, just maybe, Dr Clef or Researcher King. Also, this tale can be used to write things in articles like how we cured this guy when SCP XXXX attacked him or how this dude got his arm back instead of just either redacting it or skipping over the detail, which I have no quarrels with but I think is sort of lazy. At the same time, I also fear this tale will have very little impact on anything, but I very much hope it does.

4: What drew me to write this tale
I noticed the lackluster of tales of medical personnel or even them being mentioned in the SCP universe. Every single or staff duty has been dramatically improved upon, such as the D-class personnel or the MTF guards to even the janitors(A very cool tale and even animations and stuff on YT). All the medical team gets are small mentions of or small tales. This made me want to fill in this gap and very much potential story topic in this tale. I also may make more tales like this, to try and get others to join in and see how important doctors can be in The Foundation. One last thing that motivated me was doctors irl, them saving countless lives and working day in and day out during( and still are) during this pandemic, which made me inspired.

I really hope this clears things up!

~Don

Last edited on 30 Sep 2020 07:39 by doneedanickname Show more