Atari Cosmos SCP Concept

Summary:

A greenlight request for an SCP concept based on the Atari Cosmos.

Atari Cosmos SCP Concept

LillithHollyMisato 28 Sep 2020 19:54

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: GoI Format

Genre (Optional): History(?)

Elevator Pitch: In 1978 Allan Alcorn began working on a new console for Atari, a console that would later be known as the Atari Cosmos. The Cosmos was cancelled in 1981 following Ray Kassar's refusal to sell a system that might compete with the VCS. Arcadia then takes up the project, and the Arcadia Cosmos nears release - but is suddenly shelved. The Cosmos itself looks identical to its Atari counterpart, save for the microphone and Arcadia labelling. The machine also works quite differently: it projects 3D images onto an environment, as opposed to the Atari Cosmos, which only uses holograms to make the games look 3D. Users of the system are unable to use more then one sense to perceive objects projected by the machine, but are able to change this through the use of the microphone. The story is told through advertisement flyers, internal memos from Arcadia, and letters.

Central Narrative: The story surrounds Allan Alcorn and his team as they try to develop an upgraded version of the Cosmos to compete directly in the console market. Allan and his team disagree quite a bit on how different the new console should be - the team, backed by Arcadia's upper management, support the development of a new, fantastical way of playing. Alcorn just wants to finally release the Cosmos as it was planned, albeit with a bit more features. The Video Game Crash of 1983 sends the project into a deathspiral, as funding quickly begins to run out. It comes to a head when Allan holds a visit with Dan "Wolf" Dunn, and quickly an argument ensues, ending with Alcorn suspending all involvement with Arcadia, and the Cosmos being shelved in 1984.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: The article itself will contain advertisements, memos, and discussions, providing an insight into Arcadia's inner workings at it's height, and it's low point. It hooks the reader by showing them part of the worst side of development - the arguments, the drug use, the mistakes - all of which contribute to Alcorn's leave. Showing a closer look at the development, focusing mainly on the development itself, is something that I believe makes this article unique to other Arcadia articles, as the way it presents itself provides a logical sequence of events.

Additional Notes: I have heavily reworked this concept following feedback, it originally being an SCP, and now being reworked into a GoI format article.

Last edited on 30 Sep 2020 21:49 by LillithHollyMisato Show more

Re: Atari Cosmos SCP Concept

cybersqyd 29 Sep 2020 12:07

I'm, going to be honest: I'm not sure how I feel about this. It being a SCP feels, perhaps, weird: it's development by a non-Foundation company, and so it feels a lot like the framing would force a real sense of detachment from this that perhaps making it a tale in the style of e.g. an Arcadia booklet talking about the development of the console would be better?

Past this, I guess, my concern is that you're saying the focus is on Alcorn developing this and like, what happens during the development is the main narrative and like, while this isn't a bad idea, it raises one question for me: what actually happens during this development? How are you intending to make this an interesting read for the reader? How are you wanting to subvert their expectations?

I once wrote a SCP with a similar kinda, development focussed style (SCP-5861) and my advice is that like, often keeping this short and well summarised works best but it becomes heavily reliant on the actual advances being interesting on their own and there being this kinda, logical progression to it? That said, something more in-depth could work as long as there's a clear sense of the development heading somewhere and the reader can be made to get invested into seeing that journey; and I guess really what I'm asking here is "so what? Why does the development matter?"

Re: Atari Cosmos SCP Concept

PlaguePJP 29 Sep 2020 12:46

Jumping off of what cybersqyd stated about your narrative. It seems really disconnected to the Foundation as a whole. I'm now sure how the Foundation would in-universe gain all of this information in an interesting way. This feels like it's either going to boil down to a bunch of notes or interview logs that just state the information to the reader. That's not very compelling.

My advice to you is to focus on the console a bit more. Maybe the creator left his imprint in some software on there. The most compelling part of this is the technology you described and the human element of creating it. I also am not seeing a real arc for Alcorn either. Picking up on context clues I think I'm supposed to empathize with him, but how? With that, you have this really interesting technology; hone in on a direct aspect of the Cosmos console where you'll be able to characterize Alcorn.

That being said, I see potential here. There just needs to be a more concise narrative that will allow you to develop this story in a more interesting manner.

Last edited on 29 Sep 2020 12:48 by PlaguePJP Show more

Re: Atari Cosmos SCP Concept

LillithHollyMisato 29 Sep 2020 13:46

Thank you for your feedback, you're right, I've been having issues with what story exactly I want to tell with this - Alcorn was a last minute addition I made and I'm still hesitant on if I really need to include him. I have a clear idea set out before me on what exactly I want this machine to be, and how it relates to Arcadia, I'm just having issues with what exactly the story is. I really appreciate the feedback here, both from you and cybersqyd, I'm gonna try and look at this from a different angle and see if I can make this… fit better, for lack of a better phrase.

Re: Atari Cosmos SCP Concept

Grigori Karpin 30 Sep 2020 03:49

Agreeing with both PlaguePJP and cybersqyd, the way this story is framed seems less like an SCP and more like a historical document.

Moreover, other than the device creating 3D manifestations, I don't know why this would be considered anomalous by the Foundation, even if you were to engineer a way in which the Foundation could access that information (as Plague mentioned above).

I think you have a good handle on the story elements, I just think it would be a poor fit for a mainlist article as it stands.

Although I think anomalous technology, the frustration of having one's dream strangled by other people outside your control and the horrible development cycle for products could be the basis of a decent article… I think the decision to root this in real history from the perspective of Alcorn is a mistake.

1) I think you need something a little more anomalous, to justify the Foundation's interest.
2) I think you need to focus on how you will tell your story in a way that makes sense for a Foundation SCP file… OR consider doing a tale or GoI document instead.
3) Really consider how the Foundation would gain access to the information to tell your story and also why they would be interested. If its as simple as it makes 3d information manifest in the real world, they could just lock it in a box and add it to the log of anomalous items list.

Re: Atari Cosmos SCP Concept

Calibri Bold 30 Sep 2020 21:56

So I'm very happy to see that you've addressed the concerns of your critters and edited your post to match. After some decent ironing out, you have a pretty solid idea as it stands! Comparing the previous version of the idea with the current one, I would agree with the sentiments presented above, which you've done a fine job of addressing. I love the story you have planned out here, with the personal tale of an innovator in Arcadia. Overall, I'm comfortable greenlighting this. You've addressed concerns, put together a good idea, and started moving in the right direction, and I don't think there's much more that needs to be said.

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I can swallow pills without water.

Last edited on 30 Sep 2020 21:58 by Calibri Bold Show more

Re: Atari Cosmos SCP Concept

YellowISlol 01 Oct 2020 22:03

Ooh, a GoI format, not the best at these, but I'll do my best.

After reading this through, something definitely felt missing. I felt this was more of a story rather than an anomaly. The anomaly has a lot of trouble fitting the story. What I mean by this is, the story feels separate from the anomaly. I feel like this could do better if the anomaly was tied in a bit more to the story itself, not as a product, but as an anomaly.

Other than that, I really like this concept, as well as it's potential

~Yellow

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~~~🐜Ant boi baby🐜~~~

Re: Atari Cosmos SCP Concept

Marcelles_Raynes 01 Oct 2020 22:06

Following our conversation on IRC, this is something I would genuinely be interested in reading. The story seems very well put together, and I feel like you have a good grasp on the narrative tension that you can derive from this work. I am excited to see what becomes of this idea, so I am also giving it a greenlight. Let me know when the draft is complete, and I will have another look then.

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~ M.D.R.