(seeking greenlights) The traveller

Summary:

Seeking Greenlights? Yes! Page type: SCP article SCP class: Thaumiel [thread locked, repeat]

(seeking greenlights) The traveller

Transgender_Goddess 27 Sep 2020 12:23

Elevator pitch- A Thaumiel class sentient android sent from a highly advanced SCP foundation to other, less advanced foundations such as this one. They have an artificially constructed synthetic brain that allows movement and memory, as well as them to be sentient. The SCP often refers to herself as TIA-5676, an acronym of Thaumiel Inter-universal Assistant-5676. However her memory and traval device has broken, leaving her stranded in our universe.

Central Narrative- It is a standard SCP file, describing containment and description with multiple Adendums. First adendums reveal that TIA-5676 has come from a universe that has managed to terminate or contain SCP'S that are dangerous, however, files of some specification or means of termination has been corrupted. Addendums reveal that multiple universes have been overrun by Keter or euclid class SCP's. TIA-5676 has also provided knowledge of other SCP's that have not yet been discovered or contained.

Attention grabber- TIA-5676 was found inside SCP-2317-prime, out of power and highly damaged.

Admin Post - Info - Closed

Zyn 28 Sep 2020 04:53

Locking this thread as another exists for the same concept in progress. Reviewers, please comment here: http://www.scpwiki.com/forum/t-13756814/scp-xxxx:the-traveler-seeking-green-lights

As per the Ideas Critique forum required reading: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282684/required-reading:how-to-use-this-forum-ideas Please do not create multiple threads for the same working concept. Using one thread helps keep spam down, and prevents flooding of the forums with repeat threads. Furthermore, it helps reviewers a lot if all corresponding feedback is kept in one place so they can follow the development of the idea and its details.

If you're having trouble getting further replies on a thread, you can look at this thread for options to contact reviewers: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews

Re: (seeking greenlights) The traveller

RadioactiveRADS 27 Sep 2020 17:06

I don't think the way you are intending to tell this story is going to work.

The main anomaly is am android that was made by more advanced Foundation to capture or terminate other anomalies. And the information on how this will be displayed through addendums that show how powerful this android is and how universe are being overun by other dangerous SCP's and why they need TIA.

The way you are telling us how you plan tell this sounds generic. Helpful entity going to protect/help the Foundation contain anomalies. Thats pretty straightforward and nothing engaging in it. I would focus on something else other than the benevolent part. Why would an alternate Foundation send anomalous tech to other universes? That does not sound like that Foundation at all. Maybe subvert the idea into something else that can explore another side of this mysterious Foundation that's sending these machines across the multiverse. What is their true goal? Or maybe you can make more character base, maybe TIA is glad that they have stopped. There tired of their job. They are many ways you go about this.

Also, I suggest not basing your hook on another scp. I said that because that just piggy backing on someone else work and somebody might not even have read that, makin your hook confusing or irrelevant to them.

Re: (seeking greenlights) The traveller

Marcelles_Raynes 28 Sep 2020 02:30

On behalf of the Team of the Oinks, I will be looking at this post!

Let's dive in, shall we?

So, opting to go for the cross-reference as a means of discovery for your SCP is not a very good idea. This is because relying on another, more established SCP to carry the weight of your own article is generally a bad practice, as it does not give your article a chance to breathe and live on its own.

The story itself seems very straightforward and without much tension really. It came from another universe and is capable of containing or neutralizing other SCPs, which is incredibly useful don't get me wrong. The issue is that there isn't really a reason why this thing is here, or how it got here. Assuming that it was in Foundation custody across multiple universes, why would those alternate Foundations be sending the anomalous tech to other universes? Why would the Foundation risk breaking the Veil? What was causing all of the Keter level disasters across the other universes? These are questions that you can try to allude to when you're writing your article, as they will help add some more depth to this piece.

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~ M.D.R.