DRAFT: CHARITY RESCUE & RELIEF | FOR THE POOR LEVININES, SO FAR FROM GOD (BUT SO CLOSE TO DEEP POCKETS) / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page DRAFT: CHARITY RESCUE & RELIEF | FOR THE POOR LEVININES, SO FAR FROM GOD (BUT SO CLOSE TO DEEP POCKETS).

RJB_R 26 Sep 2020 05:04

contest story 1 am placeholder credit to chiifu for checking it out a little

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

chiifu 26 Sep 2020 06:18

Posting thoughts here since a _{pretty (not suspicious)} deal was made.

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Overall, I think this is a good entry into your team's upcoming articles. Admittedly, I expected a bit more interactions between Jared and Wendy, but going through it twice made me rethink about the plotline in the story. For its length, I think it justifies what's being done, however, I can't help but think there could be a bit more added to give the reader more context to what's happening.

(I haven't actually read the Old Man in the Sea canon)

The ending, while it suffices, I feel like it's a bit underwhelming; however! This could be due to this article foreboding future events, in which case would be fine for me. I do think, though, this article loses a bit of impact on the ending for that exact reason.

That's it for me. As for the output, I'll give this a +1. Despite the gripes I had, this is a good entry into future events, and certainly makes me interested to see more on what's happening, why, and the ending to the storyline.

Last edited on 27 Sep 2020 01:10 by chiifu Show more

Cerastes 26 Sep 2020 20:23

Overall, it's nice to see a situation where MCF isn't just groveling for cash or having their toys taken away by the Foundation. Nice look into their interactions with the large anomalous community.

Also the word's tiniest violin was a great touch. +1

WhiteGuard 27 Sep 2020 00:59

A new MCF document! That was pretty cool, bud. +1

Operational Staff Post

N_Aepic_Fael 28 Sep 2020 20:22

First image is CC BY-SA 3.0.

Second image is by Martin Hricko, under CC BY 3.0.