2 Revolvers with ethics

Summary:

2 sentient revolvers that will refuse to work for certain people

2 Revolvers with ethics

Dr Edward Robson 25 Sep 2020 16:52

2 sentient revolvers that will refuse to work for certain people or for certain things. Will also have some minor anomalous accessories that come with it.

I moved and trimmed your thread summary, since it was taking up extra space in the main forum screen. Try to keep thread descriptions (the text in the little box under the thread title) and titles short so you don't crowd out other authors in the forum listing. ~Zyn

Seeking Greenlights: Not yet

Page Type: SCP article

Genre: Statement/ Set up for future tales

Page Layout: Going to put in a discovery and incident log but the main focus will be on the description

Elevator Pitch: These sentient revolvers get left at a site and take a preference to an agent that takes care of them until the original owner shows up to retrieve his guns where I can slide the focus on the owner with some follow up tales

Central Narrative: The guns are left with a note on the Doorstep of *insert site* where they are discovered by *insert agent* who takes them and oil them since the finish was dulling before bringing them to security, due to this action the guns take a preference to the agent verses the dislike it displays to other staff that is shown by various means (ex. making itself heavier). So the agent is assigned to clean them weekly, until the owner of the guns manifests in the site, takes the guns and thanks the Agent for taking care of them for him and from here I will follow the owner though some tales that I have ideas for.

Hook/Attention Grabber: The hook is not going to be in the article, the hook would be the tales that I’m going to pump out after the article gets published (hopefully) as I said earlier the article will serve as an introduction for the tales mostly because I’m not sure how to start off this concept with a tale but I know I can make it work with a good SCP entry.

Additional Notes: It may take a while to pump out the first Draft mostly because I keep doing small edits until finally I’m satisfied enough to get some crit. I should note that if I get this to be published I’m going to release the first tale with or at least no more then a week after the article.

Edit: Forgot to reread the summary so sorry about the typo since I can’t edit that guess it’s there to stay.

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Our actions in the present is the combination of what we perceived in the past and what we are currently perceiving, to manipulate a person is to control one of those factors.

Last edited on 26 Sep 2020 04:39 by Zyn Show more

Re: 2 Revolvers with ethics

Pedagon 25 Sep 2020 23:45

Hey!

Pedagon here from the Team of the Oinks! I'm here to be your critter!!

+ First crit

Page Layout: Going to put in a discovery and incident log but the main focus will be on the description

Sounds good! Sometimes simple is all you need!

Elevator Pitch: These sentient revolvers get left at a site and take a preference to an agent that takes care of them until the original owner shows up to retrieve his guns where I can slide the focus on the owner with some follow up tales

This is honestly a fantastic elevator pitch. I am really interested now! Great job!

The guns are left with a note on the Doorstep of *insert site* where they are discovered by *insert agent* who takes them

Simple discovery log and I have a soft spot for anomalies being dropped off at a site. HOWEVER, this raises questions of who dropped them off, how they knew that that was a Foundation site (when sites are typically hidden or kept secret from the general public), or why they were dropped off when the owner comes back shortly afterwards to collect them. I understand that your article is meant as a set-up for your series of tales, but the article also needs to be treated as a singular story by itself too. Treat the SCP article as if it was written by someone who is going through the events of your tale and is documenting the guns from their perspective because, to them, these are real objects that need to be understood.

*insert agent* who takes them and oil them since the finish was dulling before bringing them to security, due to this action the guns take a preference to the agent verses the dislike it displays to other staff that is shown by various means (ex. making itself heavier).

Personal gripe, but this isn't "guns with ethics" as much as it is "guns with preference" or "guns with sentience". Is this agent special or do you only need to wash them to be able to use them? What are the rules of these guns and how will you be discovering and presenting those rules through the eyes of the Foundation?

So the agent is assigned to clean them weekly

Why is this deemed as a containment procedure? If the guns can be contained and put in a box, why does the Foundation care that there is an agent that they specifically prefer?

until the owner of the guns manifests in the site, takes the guns and thanks the Agent for taking care of them for him

Is this the end of the article? How will you put this in the article? Is this an event log? Does the documentation update to make the owner an SCP out of containment? etc. Just how will this go with your article?

+ Advice of Readings

Check out the Aces and Eights cannon and the Class of 76 cannon to get a sense of how SCP articles that spawn tales typically work. The tales might be the most interesting part of what you are planning, but to get a greenlight from me I would want to make sure the first SCP article is going to be done properly and written as not just a means to an end because that's how you end up with an unsuccessful article that gets removed and then the tales don't make sense anymore.

Welcome to the site! I'm looking forward to hearing back from you! :)

-Brian

Last edited on 25 Sep 2020 23:47 by Pedagon Show more

Re: 2 Revolvers with ethics

Dr Edward Robson 29 Sep 2020 11:55

Thanks for all the advice I will keep all this in mind if I ever come back to this project. Right now I’m working on getting some Drafts out for some shorter tales before I take on a long term thing like this. I’m also going to read up on the cannons you recommend as both are ones I haven’t read much of compared to others.

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Our actions in the present is the combination of what we perceived in the past and what we are currently perceiving, to manipulate a person is to control one of those factors.

Re: 2 Revolvers with ethics

PlaguePJP 29 Sep 2020 12:33

This seems interesting. I'm concerned with the following, however:

Hook/Attention Grabber: The hook is not going to be in the article, the hook would be the tales that I’m going to pump out after the article gets published (hopefully) as I said earlier the article will serve as an introduction for the tales mostly because I’m not sure how to start off this concept with a tale but I know I can make it work with a good SCP entry.

Now, there's no problem with having an accompanying tale or tales to go along with your SCP, that happens a lot. I'm concerned that your SCP isn't going to stand well enough on its own. Many pitfalls of canonized articles are that you need to know the entire story before you jump in. What if I don't want to read the accompanying tale? That's the issue that comes up.

The other concern I have is towards the manifestation of the gun's owner. It seems too easy for the owner to just show up and take the guns away. In the Foundation's eyes, it's an anomaly stealing another anomaly.

You have a cute idea. There are just a few kinks to work out.