Toy Soldier - elevator pitch

Summary:

transport their sleeping self away into a dreamworld where the soldier will help them

Toy Soldier - elevator pitch

Treforce 20 Sep 2020 22:09

A Toy Soldier shaped lamp that when placed next to a kids bed, transport their sleeping self away into a dreamworld where the soldier will help them hunt their nightmares.

Edit-1
Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Elevator pitch:
A toy soldier shaped floor lamp that wisps children away to helps hunting their monster nightmares.
The following morning, The dead monster spawn as a trophy next to the soldier. Child no longer afraid of said monster.

Central Narrative:

• When placed in a bedroom, and a subject sleeps in the bed with the lamp turned on, the subject will upon entering sleep be whisked away to a dream like world where the toy soldier will help them hunt their "monster".
• The subject will return to their bed shortly before they would normally wake up, along with a trophy of the now dead monster. Subject will no longer suffer from night terrors, and will generally be more confident.

Further details:

+ show block

Aditional info about the SCP article:

• Besides the trophies composition, and unknown origin. The trophies themselves contain no anomalous properties.
• Bottom of the wooden floor lamp bears the mark of Doctor Wondertainment.
• SCP article will focus mostly on the early stages of the foundation having gotten possession of the toy lamp.

Detailed Narrative:
The Foundation first assume that the trophy that the toy soldier have created is the SCP itself.
They find out about it due to one of the trophies that the toy soldier lamp have created is to big for the house to have within.
Since the kid no longer feels like he/she needs the lamp turned on anymore, it gets sold shortly after to a pawn shop (or something similar)
The second time the foundation gets a call about a trophy, one of the agents recognice the toy soldier. and is then identified to be the true culprit.
They start by keeping it contained under observation with no one sleeping next to it, so it dosnt activate again.
then after some time… a letter have materialized.
The letter saying that he feels a little bored just standing in this empty room all day, and would like someone to "sleep next to it, for a chat"

the toy soldier does not mind talking with the researchers… but he can only help against the monsters that resides in a child mind… since adults know what the REAL monsters are.
"I help kill the childrens fears… so they may one day be brave enough to stand up to the more real monsters of this world"
Although he can not help them directly with their nightmares. he can still offer them a nice dream having a conversation with him.
It wont help them get over their nightmares, but it will atleast give them the chance for a pleasent nap.

ends with the toy soldiers room being allowed to be redecorated and double as an "in facility sleeping room"

Planned tales to go with it afterwards:

• Adults subjects will instead have a friendly dream of a chat with the soldiers inside his "trophy room".
• Cross-test done with scp-1230 reveals that the "Book Keeper” & the toy soldier does not fully get along, but they still respect each others work. "Your task is to create monsters for others to overcome and help them grow, my task is to help those who can't"

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Verifying dimension signature… (37%)

Last edited on 07 Oct 2020 19:30 by Treforce Show more

Re: Toy Soldier - elevator pitch

KaraKatt 20 Sep 2020 22:10

Author,

Per the required reading forum guidelines, please fill out the concept template to seek feedback on your idea:

**Seeking Greenlights:** Put yes or no.

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**Page Layout (Optional):** [How will you will structure the page in terms of information presentation, or plot development? If you plan on using a unique format/format screw, describe that here.]

**Elevator Pitch:** [What is the basic core idea? Use a bullet point list if necessary.] 

**Central Narrative:** [Describe the story beats or overarching context/"big picture" for your piece. If there is no story content, put "none".] 

**Hook/Attention-Grabber:** [What is novel/unique about your premise? What is special about your idea here that will make it stand out among the other works already on the mainsite?] 

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Re: Toy Soldier - elevator pitch

Treforce 20 Sep 2020 23:01

Sorry about that, is it correct now ?

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Re: Toy Soldier - elevator pitch

Cerastes 21 Sep 2020 00:03

Placeholder, will respond within 24 hours.

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So while there's no big technical flaws with your anomaly, I think one issue you should really focus on is with tone. Let's look at this a little more closely. We've got a toy soldier, designed to protect children from nightmares. Okay, that's good, has a nice touch to it.

It does this by taking them on a hunt for the monster, and helping them slay it in a battle, after which they will no longer have night terrors. That's a bit different, but it still works, it brings to mind stories about brave knights slaying evil dragons and whatnot. Also the whole bit about facing your fears takes on a new light.

However it doesn't always work, and sometimes the child will die. At this point, it takes a sharp turn in tone. We go from a nice, feels-good adventure to something a more terrifying. Also going back to the whole slaying your demons thing, this makes it sound a bit more "your nightmares can very much harm you."

I'd say that just reducing it down to the fighting nightmares thing could work (perhaps tie it into Wondertainment, I could see them selling something like that). However if you want to go with this somewhat dark route, I'd say that could also definitely work. Just a bit of analysis for you.

Last edited on 21 Sep 2020 22:42 by Cerastes Show more

Re: Toy Soldier - elevator pitch

Treforce 28 Sep 2020 21:58

I took your advice and made an edit.
What do you think?

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Re: Toy Soldier - elevator pitch

Cerastes 07 Oct 2020 19:31

greenlighted.

Re: Toy Soldier - elevator pitch

PlaguePJP 29 Sep 2020 11:45

I absolutely love this idea. Just a few concerns. For one, I don't see a need for a 1230 crossover, their work has enough dissonance where I feel its inclusion is going to end up being a detriment rather than a good thing. You're gonna want this SCP to fully stand on its own.

My second concern is the presentation. How I'm reading it, the Foundation won't be able to see dreams. I'm not how interesting a few interview logs would be about this guy, I think you keep this one short, like sub-2000 words, and delve hard into characterization.

With these in mind, I'll bestow your first greelight.

Good luck author!

Last edited on 29 Sep 2020 11:45 by PlaguePJP Show more