SCP-4021-2 has been found to have a sense of sight, taste, and hearing, however it is unknown if they have a sense of smell and touch.
[has] > [have]
The language SCP-4021-2 instances speak is unknown, and does not sound similar to any known languages.
Considering the language is unknown, it'd make sense if it doesn't sound like any known languages. I'd omit this, personally.
SCP-4021-2 instances are gradually produced from SCP-4021-1.
You could probably stick this into the first sentence of the SCP-4021-2 description.
SCP-4021-2 are typically peaceful and gentle, and seem to enjoy conversation amongst other SCP-4021-2 instances.
[Peaceful and gentle] doesn't strike me as particularly clinical. I'd just say [docile.]
While there are 17 SCP-4021-2 instances in existence, SCP-4021-1 seems to cease producing fruit until an SCP-4021-2 instance has expired, the remaining SCP-4021-2 instances have completed their burial ritual, and sufficient time has transpired for the buried instance to have completely rotted, typically 6-7 weeks.
This is a very long sentence. I'd split them up, or cut down on it heavily. Additionally, you use the word [seem] quite a bit. I suggest using [appear] or some synonym to cut down on its repetitiveness.
SCP-4021-1 appears to self-regulate the amount of SCP-4021-2 instances, maintaining a population that does not exceed 17 at any given time.
This sentence implicates pretty much the exact same meaning as: [While there are 17 SCP-4021-2 instances in existence, SCP-4021-1 seems to cease producing fruit until an SCP-4021-2 instance has expired.] I suggest omitting it.
When initially contained, the maximum population of SCP-4021-2 instances alive at one time dropped from 73 to 17, as evident from photograph taken at SCP-4021's initial retrieval site.4
The footnote here seems rather unnecessary. Probably just put it in its own sentence after this one.
On that note, before I move on, I'd like to suggest that you use footnotes only when you really need them. As in, use them for descriptions of items (which need clarifying, and cannot be put in the current sentence due to flow issues), clarifying certain terms (primarily medical terms), etc. Footnotes, when overused, can detract from the amount of attention a reader will have since they'll have to hover over this thing several times over; when really, a single sentence can accomplish the same effect, and not break the intended flow.
SCP-4021-2 instances have shown a significant interest in gardening, having been observed tending to all fruit crops in their containment cell.5
You could probably cut this down. [SCP-4021-2 instances have shown a significant interest in gardening, tending to fruit crops in their containment cell.] Then followup by having the footnote be an actual sentence since you can implement that easily.
When crops ready to be harvested, SCP-4021-2 instances will allow personnel to take as much as they want, provided that the fruit taken is not part of the orange family.
I believe you're missing a word here. Also, I'd switch [much] for [many].
SCP-4021-1 routinely produces an average of 13.2 mL of transparent liquid, which has been found to have a consistent molecular structure with glucose. SCP-4021-2 instances have been observed drinking the liquid soon after the secretions occur, using it as a nutrient source.
Personally, if this isn't going to be useful to the narrative, I'd just cut it.
SCP-4021-2 instances were observed attempting to converse with the crop, in the same mannerisms they show when conversing with other instances.
No need for a comma here. Also, you could change everything after [mannerisms] to [shown when conversing with other instances.]
It is possible that SCP-4021-2 instances consider other species of orange to be intelligent.
This can easily be inferred. No need for this.
SCP-4021-2 instances attempted to capture the rabbit, however they were not as agile as the creature and took around 30 minutes to capture and contain it within the metal cage.
This isn't worded particularly clinically. Specifically [not as agile as the creature]. You can cut down on this too: [SCP-4021-2 instances attempted to capture the rabbit, taking approximately 30 minutes.]
They began to watch as the beetles moved around their containment and analyze their behaviors.
I'd change [began] to [proceeded] for clinicality.
When the researcher entered the containment chamber holding a leaf of SCP-4021-1, SCP-4021-2 immediately began to attack subject in a manner even more violent than observed during Test 3.
The last bit seems unnecessarily wordy. Specifically everything after [immediately].
Again, only minor injuries were sustained by the researcher, but the SCP-4021-2 instances continued to exhibit signs of extreme distress for a period of four (4) hours after the encounter.
Omit [Again, only]. Also, I'm not a fan of anything that does something akin to [four (4)], it's rather old, and doesn't really add anything other than unnecessary wording.
It has also been noticed that SCP-4021-2 have not been tending to the crops within their containment chamber as often as usual, which requires assigned personnel take their place as caretakers to the crops.
Omit everything after [usual]. Readers can infer this.
The population of SCP-4021-2 instances has again decreased to 9, despite sufficient time having elapsed for SCP-4021-1 to produce further "offspring".
Omit everything after [9]. The reader would assume that would be the case, considering the same happened to the last note.
This population decrease has created cause for concern, and a
This bit is unnecessary. You'd assume the researchers would be concerned about the decreasing popularity.
request will be submitted for an eventual reclassification to Neutralized if trends have been observed to continue.
Assuming you'll omit it, I'd suggest rewording the beginning of this sentence to followup that.
Autopsy suggests he shot himself in the head point-blank with hesitation.
I'd probably just omit this entire thing.
"Alan Phid" was later found to not be his actual name, merely an alias he had adopted.
The last bit seems rather unclinical.
I was wrong, and that's why this is goodbye for now, SCP Foundation.
Everything after [goodbye] in this sentence weakens the impact. I'd omit it.
I feel… rather unenthused with the outcome of the draft.
