The Communist Box

Summary:

A Comedic, but not a -J scp. Its a Box of Communisim

The Communist Box

RogueNargacuga 21 Aug 2020 00:08

Seeking Greenlights: yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Comedy

Elevator Pitch:
- Is a cardboard box, styled after the U.S.S.R flag
- when something is placed in the box, the box will shake violently and steam, then fire out a potato, that is mixed with the item that was placed in the box and contains the items property.

Central Narrative: The central Narrative will as per usual, be tests regarding the SCP's anomalous property. That being that whatever you put in it becomes a potato. For example, Drop gold in the box? it will consume your gold and then fire out a potato that tastes incredible, but also has chunks of gold mixed in with it. Gun? Biting into the potato will fire a bullet. Your janitorial key card? The potato now can swipe through scanners just like that key card.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: The Communist box is unique and will stand out because of its unique comedic take. a potato that will do whatever it used to, but is now also a nice on-the-go snack. The possiblilities with the SCP are limitless, and if written well would really show-off that comedic aspect to the article.

Additional Notes: Obviously, ill need ideas for things the box could potato-ify. So leave any ideas or concerns down bellow.

Last edited on 21 Aug 2020 00:11 by RogueNargacuga Show more

Re: The Communist Box

REDESERT 21 Aug 2020 00:46

Hello RogueNargacuga! let's take a look :)

The secrets of the desert:

+ show block

The concept:

Elevator Pitch:
- Is a cardboard box, styled after the U.S.S.R flag
- when something is placed in the box, the box will shake violently and steam, then fire out a potato, that is mixed with the item that was placed in the box and contains the items property.

There isn't much other than the effects to really go off here, the box itself doesn't get much of an explanation and the effects feel a bit random. Why exactly does it create potatoes? what purpose does that serve? why is the box painted as a communist flag?

This comes of a "thing that does a thing" to me, as the box itself doesn't have much of a purpose, and the effects are never given much of an explanation. -Why does the box do this? what about this will make me as the reader invested?

Central Narrative: The central Narrative will as per usual, be tests regarding the SCP's anomalous property. That being that whatever you put in it becomes a potato. For example, Drop gold in the box? it will consume your gold and then fire out a potato that tastes incredible, but also has chunks of gold mixed in with it. Gun? Biting into the potato will fire a bullet. Your janitorial key card? The potato now can swipe through scanners just like that key card.

This doesn't feel like much of a narrative? more so additional info on the skip. Where was it found? how did the Foundation discover it was anomalous? what do they end up testing? where is the conflict? whats the middle act and payoff? -I'm not really noticing much of an arc?

The story feels a bit flat, as the story doesn't really build up to much. The skip effects alone won't be able to keep engagement, as they don't offer any insight into the skip itself.

Red or green?
Due to my afore mentioned concerns, no Greenlight.- The idea could work, though the effects alone will not be able to carry this. There would need to be more around the skip itself, what makes it a "communist box"? how does the box affect the people and environment? -Overall, I think the idea needs more of an explanation.

If you would like me to give this (or any concept) further advice/feedback, then feel welcome to shoot me a PM or ask via IRC. response times generally range from 2-12 hours over PMs. If your looking for additional critiques in general, then I couldn't recommend the Butterfly squad more:)

Cheers,

-The Desert

Re: The Communist Box

LilyFlower 21 Aug 2020 10:52

I'm unsure why you're involving communism, or even the connection - politics is very hard to write properly, but I'm not even seeing anything here other than the Soviet flag. Potatoes don't really have any connection to communism.

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