[seeking green lights] High impact ant violence

Summary:

strangely advanced ant colonies wage a brutal civil war on each other

Dystopi-ant

JookNapJohn 18 Aug 2020 06:03

An area deep in the Yucatan jungle where three, strangely advanced ant colonies wage a brutal civil war on each other

I moved and trimmed your thread summary, since it was taking up extra space in the main forum screen. Try to keep thread descriptions (the text in the little box under the thread title) and titles short so you don't crowd out other authors in the forum listing. ~Zyn

(Edited)

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Sci-fi

Elevator Pitch: A Group of 3 leaf cutter ant colonies in a Mexican jungle that have advanced far beyond the norm, with their colonies being 10s of metres deep, and each harbouring well over 100 million ants. The colonies mine rocks and metals from beneath them to build elaborate mega structures and fortifications. They have constructed tall perimeter walls around their colonies entrances to defend from each other, and use bio mechanical weapons as artillery and small arms for foot soldiers.

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The culture of each colony is complex and unique, and the way they interact with each other changes constantly, with peace treaties and war declarations being signed and broken as quickly as an hour. The queen of each colony is enormous, and the centre of operation for giving battle commands, manufacturing biotechnology, and creating ants.
The caste system is more diverse than usual, with soldier ants varying from small, fast shock infantry to massive, hulking monsters capable of carrying (relatively) large bio cannons to take down enemy defences.

Central Narrative I have an idea that explains their origins, but it is a bit convoluted and doesn’t fit with actual science at all. It’s that these ants are not from earth, and a long time ago their interstellar ant empire attempted to colonise here. But, one way or another, their colonisation attempt failed and most of the settlements across the world were taken out, or became tribal savages (standard ants of today) while this last bastion in Mexico holds onto its technology and culture from their home-world. Unfortunately, a civil war has broken out between the colonies and progress either expanding outwards or contacting their empire has ceased (probably in the best interests of humanity).

Hook/Attention-Grabber: Sci fi ant wars!

Additional Notes: I’m not really sure if the whole alien ant origin story is gonna fly, but I could figure something out if it doesn’t. The initial idea was just advanced ant colonies, so there’s plenty of ways to go.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 26 Aug 2020 04:35 by Zyn Show more

Re: Dystopi-ant

KaraKatt 18 Aug 2020 13:40

[Placeholder o' Doom!!! Will crit within 24 hours]

Howdy hey!

There isn't much here beyond ant wars. Which, is a good idea for the core anomaly, but what story do you want to tell with these ants? You could explore how each colony thinks, or play diplomat with them. Kind of an endless possibility type of thing. I would say think on it and figure out where you want to go with this. Its a decent idea.

Good luck with this, feel free to PM me to take another look or to crit a draft after greenlights!

Last edited on 18 Aug 2020 16:15 by KaraKatt Show more

Re: Dystopi-ant

JookNapJohn 18 Aug 2020 18:22

Thanks for the guidance! As I said, the concept is in very early days, and I will have a play around with a couple of drafts to expand it even further. You’re right, there are a lot of directions to take this, and I should explore a bit more. Thanks again!

Re: Dystopi-ant

The Pighead 18 Aug 2020 19:41

Hello, author, Pighead In. Let's take a look at your idea.

Elevator Pitch : It's the only part? Well, OK, I can go with that. So, there's pretty interesting things here. I pretty much like the concept of this society of ants and I'm really interested to know more about this colony of ants and why they are like they are. I think that you should rid all the elements who are related to 1984, like you plan to do, let them in the story would be a great disservice to that. Especially the "because of humans, the ants are now in a totalitarian regime" part. I find this extremely cliche, personally.

I will agree that Kara made some pretty good points and I recommand you to follow their advices, but for the rest, I feel pretty intrigued by the thing. So, here's a tentative greenlight for you. Now, you just need another one for using the Drafts Forum, I recommand you to contact another reviewers for that. It's all for me, Pighead Out, good luck, author.

Re: Dystopi-ant

JookNapJohn 21 Aug 2020 11:17

Hey, thanks for taking the time to review it and especially thanks for the greenlight! I’ve thought over the concepts a little bit more, and I’ve done away with the 1984, but also added a few different elements onto the ants themselves. Anyway, I’ll try and reach out to other reviewers and also build on the fundamentals of it a bit more. Thanks for the support!

Re: [seeking green lights] High impact ant violence

cybersqyd 25 Aug 2020 12:30

Honestly, I find myself agreeing with KaraKatt here: the idea of there being ant wars and stuff is like, not awful but it also feels a lot more like the setting of a story than the actual story: I guess my big question here is 'what do you wanna do with this idea beyond just setting up this ant war?' or, well, really 'why does the ant war matter?'.

I'd suggest you consider why this is a SCP and not a tale btw: like, as a SCP article, the expectation is that a major player in the story will be the Foundation, and it's really worth considering what their involvement is here: is the story about them interacting with the war and trying to stop it causing casualties outside it or the war being discovered? Is it them trying to secretly prolong the war so the ants don't develop more?

The interstellar ant angle is like, kinda interesting but it feels somewhat inconsequential here: like, there's not really anything to it that affects stuff much now; and it feels like you'd really have to do more with that. For example: what's stopping more interstellar rafts coming? What if the ants decide earth isn't for them any more as a result of e.g. climate change and start trying to build a new raft?