Reality is Toxic (Greenlight Requested)

Summary:

The Foundation as an XK-Class end of the world scenario for another world

Reality is Toxic (Greenlight Requested)

Nathan Meredith 25 Jul 2020 18:20

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Horror, Drama/Emotional

Elevator Pitch: The Foundation discovers a portal inside an artists cupboard leading to different dimension best described as a technicolour kaleidoscopic dreamscape inhabited by numerous floating shapes ever changing in form and appearance as well as almost incomprehensible sounds. The Dimension is supposed to be so alien that its impossible to behold properly the shapes are this worlds inhabitants. It turns out that the reality of Earth is literally poisonous to this realm and every time the Foundation studied it the realm was being destroyed as ours overwhelmed theirs. Eventually its too late and the realm is destroyed no more colour only a pitch black sky and an endless grey wastelands.

Central Narrative: The Central Narrative starts with the anomalies containment procedures then a description of what it is compared to what it used to be. Then it goes into the Foundation exploration logs and we start to see the Dimension slowly change towards what it will be. We see the denizens of that world change their behaviours trying to keep the Foundation out but failing to. The Foundation only figures out what's happening after the denizens of that universe somehow manage to decipher English and communicate to the Foundation begging for mercy but by then its too late our reality has taken hold and is spreading eventually the Shapes and remaining Colour is forced into small area in a last attempt to survive the shapes create a new portal to a new dimension and all the shapes and colours flow through and the portal goes away but not before the Foundation receives a final message from the Shapes version of the Foundation damning them for destroying their world and saying how their race will survive to spite them.

Attention-Grabber: The idea of the Foundation being another worlds Scarlet King or When Day Breaks is hilariously ironic to me and is something I don't remember being done before. The audience gets its attention grabbed by discovering what is destroying the world.

Additional Notes:

Last edited on 27 Jul 2020 18:27 by Nathan Meredith Show more

Re: Reality is Toxic (Greenlight Requested)

The Pighead 27 Jul 2020 13:56

Hello, author, Pighead In. Let's take a look at your idea.

Elevator Pitch : I'm pretty conflicted about that. On one hand, I would like to learn more things about this dimension, about these shapes and everything else related to them, because I always have a fond for alternate dimensions and for knowing more about that. Every time. And in that way, this is pretty interesting. But on the other hand, I think that the whole "in fact, we are a poison and that destroy this dimension" part is really the most weakest part of the idea. But maybe it's only a personal thing (I'm under the impression that I've seen that many times).

Central Narrative : OK, so it's the big part. And for the most part, I feel the same way I feel for the Elevator Pitch, but pushed further. Because I still really want to know more about the dimension and the beings who live in it, I really want. But there's also this part at the end and this "the beings assure to the Foundation they will take revenge" part. For me, that is not really something that could help your story. I would suggest you to scratch that entirely and focus yourself on the dimension and its inhabitants.

And because I don't have more informations in the other sections, I will stop here. No greenlight from me. Like I said, even if your story has a great potential, I think that the ending part of it weakens it. My advice for you is to scrap the whole "we have poisoned this dimension and at the end, they want to take revenge" part and focus more on the description of the dimension, of the being who inhabit it and, if you want to keep the "toxic reality" part, try to adopt an approach who could be more "melancholic" and less "you made this mistake and we will beat your ass for having doing it" (I don't know if what I say is clear…).

For the rest, don't hesitate to contact other reviewers. It's all for me, Pighead Out.

Re: Reality is Toxic (Greenlight Requested)

Nathan Meredith 27 Jul 2020 18:25

Thank you for the review!

Yeah I kind of agree with you about the "take revenge" part that's just me trying to show that the entities still believe that they where being destroyed intentionally I'll get rid of it maybe switch it out for a different message like "Why did you do this" or "survive to spite you"

Last edited on 27 Jul 2020 18:28 by Nathan Meredith Show more

Re: Reality is Toxic (Greenlight Requested)

Comrade Waldo 27 Jul 2020 23:37

Hello! I hope you're doing alright!
Let's take a look at your concept, shall we?

Alternate dimensions are an interesting topic by itself, and it's even better when exploring and knowing about it. Who doesn't like alternate dimensions?

The Anomaly: Summarizing the anomaly, it's an alternate dimension in which floating shapes change of form and shapes make weird sounds. Weird choice for writing an SCP, but it's alright. I mostly wonder, and I agree with The Pighead that you should explore more this dimension and the anomalies that live inside it.

The Dimension is supposed to be so alien that it's impossible to behold properly the shapes are this world's inhabitants.

Why? What's the reason for this? Does the environment affect the shapes, or is it another explanation for this? It's bizarre without a proper explanation for this environment.

The Narrative: Like I said, my suggestion is that you explore more about the dimension itself. However, this narrative isn't completely uninteresting as well. I dislike the idea of the Foundation indirectly ending this colorful world. I'm also curious about how the anomalies try to defend their dimension from the Foundation since the organization has numerous resources to defend from attacks. Like, do the anomalies make walls or cannons to defend their dimension? I also wonder why does the Foundation exploration of the dimension makes it change, because I don't understand that point. Plus, I think the Foundation would notice that the dimension has changed since their exploration into it.

I also wonder how do the anomalies manage to enter into a different dimension. Are they technologically more advanced to travel to other dimensions? The ending is different from the first time I read it, and it's better, in my opinion. I didn't like the idea of the anomalies threatening the Foundation because of an accidental mistake.

Overall this is a peculiar dimension and anomaly. I'm not sure if I would read it in my free time. That's all for me. I hope this helped you.

Good luck, Comrade!

Re: Reality is Toxic (Greenlight Requested)

Nathan Meredith 28 Jul 2020 11:56

Thank you for the critique!
The reason we can't really comprehend it is because we don't have the senses to properly translate what we are looking at it's supposed to be like asking someone what the colour blue sounds like.

The dimension hopping is supposed to be described as like "magic" from their perspective basically it's implied that they where the ones who originally created the SCP portal to their world but realised to late that they can't actually close it without getting close and if they get close to our world they die.

They defend it very ineffectually to the point where the Foundation doesn't even realise its opposition they do things like construct walls out of themselves around the portals effected area and it works until one explorer taps the wall and it collapses they never repeated that after it failed and that's when the Foundation got suspicious of the anomalies nature. Yeah they do notice and record the change but they don't know that they are the problem or that they are hurting anything by that point they had suspicions but no concrete evidence until the message.