Tale ‘899 Children’ - seeking green light

Summary:

I have an idea for a tale revolving around SCP-899 and I want to see if the idea is any good

Tale ‘899 Children’ - seeking green light

CountAbra 22 Jul 2020 07:55

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: Tale

Genre (Optional): Horror

Elevator Pitch: A group of friends go on a camping trip in the area of 899’s effect. To try and find out what happened to the lead protagonist’s boyfriend.

Central Narrative: Cast: Sabrina (lead protagonist), Kingsley (best friend of Sabrina), Dewey (Kingsley’s brother), Alexis (Dewey’s girlfriend), Karim (899-1)

Plot Beats

Introduce Sabrina, she cannot sleep because she is scared of what could happen, Alexis screams bring everyone out the tent, find Alexis’s body (stoned to death), see 899 cursing and throwing rocks at them, group run but end up back at the campsite, Dewey’s Achilles’ tendons are cut with a tent spike and he is killed by having his throat ripped out, Kingsley runs leaving Sabrina behind, Karim creepily approaches Sabrina and gets repelled by her iron bracelet, Sabrina runs and tries to reach Kingsley who has been killed by having her head crushed, Sabrina continues running, gets tripped falls unconscious with one hand outside the area

Hook/Attention-Grabber: Not many stories about 899 to start with, the idea seems simple but effective. *cannot think what else to say*

Additional Notes: I am scared that this idea has been done or it’s too simple. I’ve done a draft but ngl it’s complete dogshit and the plot beats are slightly different.

Re: Tale ‘899 Children’ - seeking green light

The Pighead 22 Jul 2020 19:33

OK, so because it's pretty short, I will do something pretty short.

I'm not really a fan at all of this story, because this looks like a straight-up pitch for a slasher movie. If we remove the SCP references, it's literaly the pitch of any slasher movie for teenagers : the group of teenagers who go on an adventure (generally on camping) for a trivial reason, the monster/killer who spy them, the gruesome and gory murders of everyone… everything is here.

And honestly, I don't think it will work at all because that had been already made multiple times, too much for counting. So, I highly suggest you to go with another idea. To read more recent articles (mostly from Series IV, V and VI), to hang around with people on IRC and simply go deeper into the recent site culture for being sure that you will came back with a better idea. It's common to have a first idea who fail, so you don't have to worry about that. All you need to do is taking your time!

It's all for me, Pighead Out.