Tear in the Narrative [Seeking Greenlight]

Summary:

Operation overmeta has some consequences.

Tear in the Narrative [Seeking Greenlight]

Fat Puppy 25 Jun 2020 22:43

Seeking Greenlight: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Elevator Pitch: A tear in the narrative that stays the same size which changes the story entered every month or so, but the time decreases per entry and exit. Entities can also exit the tear and go into the SCP universe. The foundation could theoretically stabilize it but the access to tools found in different stories is able to help the foundation greatly. The exit point is in a different location in the anomaly so locating the exit point first is top priority.

Central Narrative: After reports of a mass panic due to multiple UFO abductions being reported. The Foundation decides to investigate. Upon discovery a site surrounding the area was constructed and the town was amnesticized. Soon after a D-Class was sent into the anomaly and the entire experience was recorded. After the D-Class came out safely with samples and equipment from the anomaly. After this a drone was sent in to retrieve samples from the anomaly. Upon the return of the drone the anomaly’s destination changed. When tested they came to the conclusion that time spent did not affect the time of the anomaly but the exit and entry does decrease it by about a few days. After this discovery they were able to obtain objects from the anomaly and were able to study and use them for the foundation. Soon a researcher noted that every location corresponded to a location in fiction which lead to the pataphysics department taking over. There have a been a few losses of personnel and due to the danger of the anomaly closing they send in a drone first to survey the location. Then they send in whatever is appropriate to gain as much research as possible. They so far have arrived in Homestuck, TF2, Godzilla, Pail Blart mall cop, half life be but the ai is self aware, Dc comics, Marvel and more. Soon after it was noted that things from other narratives could exist into the SCP world. This included an array of different people including monsters, scientists, aliens, drones and more. Security was upgraded after the site was destroyed by a kaiju who was terminated and the site was rebuilt. The foundation is preparing for when something even more powerful comes out.

Hook/Attention Grabber: As very few skips have been about the foundation interacting with other stories I think that this would be an interesting skip.

Additional Notes: There are some details that I probably forgot or didn't explain well or wasn't relevant like details about exiting and entering.

Last edited on 04 Jul 2020 17:38 by Fat Puppy Show more

Re: Tear in the Narrative [Seeking Greenlight]

The Pighead 26 Jun 2020 17:00

Hello, author, Pighead In. Let's take a look at your idea.

Elevator Pitch : OK, so there's not anything to say. You have your anomaly and your start, it's cool. For the rest, I talk about that above.

Central Narrative : The big part. And, I will not lie, even if it's not bad at all, there's flaws who makes it less enjoyable. First of all, I feel that it miss something, the story is literaly "So, there's this thing which happens three times and at the end, well, we know little things and yeah, we keep working on that". I don't know, I'm under the impression that the story is not exactly complete, but I couldn't exactly tell you what is missing.

Second, I found the link between the anomaly and pattern screamers and what led the Foundation to think that, especially after an event which seems completely unrelated to them and what they do. Third, I think that this is not serious for the Foundation to sending three times something/someone in the same place. At least, they would sent the drone directly after the sending of the D-Class, for not wasting the use of an MTF. That's basically the main problems I had with your idea.

Hook : Not really much to say. But just, for the record, be aware that because of our "no canon" rule, not all the readers would want to add your idea into their personal headcanons (I say that because it seems you want to do something who is a sort of "sequel" to the original Tale, at least it's what I understand but if it wasn't, tell me).

And that's all for me. No greenlight. Like I said above, the problem I have with your idea is that you had added pieces of ideas that don't really work very well (the unnecessary use of an MTF and the "pattern screamers" part, I suggest you to remove these two) and that the story feels, for me, not exactly complete (but it's more a "me" thing than a "you" thing). For the rest, I suggest you to think about what I've said in this review and ask other reviewers for help. That's all for me, Pighead Out.

Re: Tear in the Narrative [Seeking Greenlight]

Fat Puppy 26 Jun 2020 17:07

Got it thanks for the feedback. This is just an interpretation of the original tale and what could happen because of it and is not meant to be a sequel. Thank you for reviewing my idea.

Last edited on 26 Jun 2020 17:14 by Fat Puppy Show more

Re: Tear in the Narrative [Seeking Greenlight]

Comrade Waldo 26 Jun 2020 21:42

Howdy Fat Puppy! I hope you're feeling alright!
Let's take a look at your concept, shall we?

Note: I can't give greenlights, but I can critique your concept.
So, you got an interesting anomaly and a story to tell, that's good. However, most of my concerns are the same as Pighead's. I mostly feel it lacks a little more in the development of your narrative. Plus, I don't see the point in making three exploration logs for this SCP, when the Foundation has knowledge of the anomaly being capable of disappearing personnel. The Foundation wouldn't waste a D-Class and a complete MTF with that danger. You could maybe write about the background of the anomaly, how and why did the narrative separated, or a discussion between the Pataphysics group in charge of the anomaly. Plus the "No Canon" thing. It may influence other people's canon, that's something you should count as well. And finally, what format are you going to use, how are you going to tell the story. That's an important part of telling the story.

Anyway, that's all I have to say. Send me a PM if you want me to take another look at this.
Good luck!

Re: Tear in the Narrative [Seeking Greenlight]

Fat Puppy 27 Jun 2020 00:14

edited

Last edited on 03 Jul 2020 22:37 by Fat Puppy Show more

Re: Tear in the Narrative [Seeking Greenlight]

Comrade Waldo 03 Jul 2020 23:30

Came through contact by PM
Greetings Fat Puppy! Nice to see you again!
Let's take a second look at your concept, shall we?

Well, you still have your core idea, good. But I still have some doubts about it, specifically in the narrative. You never specify what made the town panic, if it's important for the discovery of the anomaly I suggest you take off the redactions, for more information for how to use expungement and redactions, read this guide Zen And The Art Of [DATA EXPUNGED]. I still think that sending an entire mobile task force is excessive with the possibility of losing connection with it, maybe change it to the original D-Class, or the drone. The Foundation would only have a Stationary Task Force for the containment of the area. I think that the narrative would upgrade if you said which stories/worlds does the Foundation interact with (but it would remind me of Project Crossover), and the second thing to add, the incidents after the Pataphysics Department taking control of the project.

I really like the idea, but I don't feel anything about it. I don't know what would be the climax of it, or what do you want the reader to feel with this SCP. Anyway, I hope this has helped. Good luck Comrade!