SCP Idea- The man of many voices (Seeking Greenlights)

Summary:

A man who can harm living organisms through speech

SCP Idea- The man of many voices (Seeking Greenlights)

MrBogdan1 17 Jun 2020 10:20

A man who can harm living organisms through speech was discovered by the Foundation.

I moved and trimmed your thread summary, since it was taking up extra space in the main forum screen. Try to keep thread descriptions (the text in the little box under the thread title) and titles short so you don't crowd out other authors in the forum listing. ~Zyn

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Horror

Elevator Pitch: A man who can harm and presumably influence living organisms through speech.

Central Narrative: SCP-XXXX is a middle-aged Caucasian male. Its anomalous traits include the ability to harm any living organism through speech. It is unknown what SCP-XXXX is saying and in what language it is communicating. It was discovered by the local police during a riot, where sightings of a foreign man attacking anyone in his sight were reported. Later the Foundation was called in to contain it. The Foundation conducted a number of tests, still trying to figure out all of its anomalous properties.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: How does this SCP influence people? What is it saying and in what language? Why does it harm people?

Additional Notes: Only SCP-XXXX's targets can understand what it is saying. However they are unable to recall what SCP-XXXX has said.

Last edited on 18 Jun 2020 05:12 by Zyn Show more

Re: SCP Idea- The man of many voices (Seeking Greenlights)

MrInsanity 17 Jun 2020 10:49

I haven't gotten a greenlight myself yet so my opinion doesn't mean much but this sounds more like a comic book villain than an SCP. My suggestion would be to add traits to the SCP that make it less human such as the inability to understand human society, a fear/hatred of plastic/metal or anything else you can think of. I would also give it an incomprehensible or illogical motivation in order to make it seem more like something not from this world.

Another direction you could take it would be to make the SCP be someone that cares about everyone and wants to be friends with them put uses their power involuntarily or can only communicate using the power. However, as I said I'm still waiting for my greenlight as well so feel free to ignore my advice.

Re: SCP Idea- The man of many voices (Seeking Greenlights)

MrBogdan1 17 Jun 2020 11:01

I already have in mind different traits that will make the SCP look less human. And the idea of the SCP being unable to understand the society really helped, I will make sure to build on this idea to make my article more interesting. And any advise will help. Thanks

Re: SCP Idea- The man of many voices (Seeking Greenlights)

fairydoctor 17 Jun 2020 15:01

Hi, I saw you in IRC! I have a few questions about your idea, and overall input:

nitpicks

Does it harm them, or influence them? What initial discovery and testing? What else is there to the narrative? What’s its backstory? Where was this riot? Why was it near the riots? Does its language/speech anomaly encourage riots? Was it influencing the cops with its speech?

I feel the content in additional notes, should be in central narrative. And central narrative to be in additional notes.

Here are some writing resources related to your idea:

So you wanna write a humanoid SCP object?
How to write an SCP

I hope this helps! Good luck!

Re: SCP Idea- The man of many voices (Seeking Greenlights)

MrBogdan1 17 Jun 2020 20:18

Thanks for the critique, it really helped and here are the answers to the questions you asked:

Does it harm them, or influence them?

It harms them. Eg. After the SCP speaks, the target it was speaking to will have a cut on their arm or have their entire hand cut off. The target will usually die of blood loss or even shock. The targets who survive will begin acting extremely hostile and agitated. They will claim SCP-XXXX is speaking to them, which influences their behaviour. Even in some rare cases SCP-XXXX will have partial or complete control over the target. SCP-XXXX can only influence/control up to 3 targets. SCP-XXXX can't control a target if it is unconscious, at which point it will select a new target if possible.

What initial discovery and testing? What else is there to the narrative? Why was it near the riots?

SCP-XXXX was initially discovered during a riot in Charlotte, North Carolina by local police officers. Testing was carried out to learn more about SCP-XXXX and its anomalous traits. Tests show that SCP-XXXX is drawn to sounds louder than an average human's speech. SCP-XXXX was drawn to the riot because of the loud screaming of rioters.

SCP-XXXX seems to be affected by sounds at frequencies between 25 kHz - 30 kHz at a noise intensity of 85 dB. SCP-XXXX will enter a state of calmness upon hearing such sounds.

SCP-XXXX shows no interest in any sort of foods and drinks. It doesn't need any nutrients to survive.

Does its language/speech anomaly encourage riots? Was it influencing the cops with its speech?

SCP-XXXX doesn't encourage riots, it is however attracted by sounds procudes by such riots. A health check was conducted on all the police officers who came into contact with SCP-XXXX. The results show no signs of physical or mental harm.

Re: SCP Idea- The man of many voices (Seeking Greenlights)

Phiiota 17 Jun 2020 18:44

Though I'll critique your Idea, I'm letting you know that I cannot greenlight this since I'm not one of the people who can.

Critique:

+ Open Critique

Elevator Pitch: A man who can harm and presumably influence living organisms through speech.

How can this SCP harm living organisms through speech? Does the speech deal some sort of mental damage through psychic means? As for the 'presumably influencing living organisms through speech' bit, is the effect memetic? Which languages does the SCP know? If the language is unknown, how exactly does the speech at the very least influence living beings if no one can understand the man? Maybe you can have the SCP be able to speak the language of the entity he's talking to (albeit in the broken version of that language) whenever he wants to influence a living being and have the effect be memetic. Also, does the SCP make these anomalous properties happen through psychic means?

Central Narrative: The initial discovery and testing of this SCP.

I think the 'Additional Notes' belongs here instead (as suggested by fairydoctor). Other than combining additional notes with this, I'm not sure how to expand it and this seems rather short for a central narrative.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: How does this SCP influence people? What is it saying and in what language? Why does it harm people?

I'm not too sure what to say about this about. Maybe specify what language/languages the SCP can say. Again, does the SCP influence living beings via memetics? Do you have an idea for how the SCP influences and harms others and the language it'll speak?

Additional Notes: SCP-XXXX is a middle-aged Caucasian male. Its anomalous traits include the ability to harm any living organism through speech. It is unknown what SCP-XXXX is saying and in what language it is communicating. It was discovered by the local police during a riot, where sightings of a foreign man attacking anyone in his sight were reported. Later the Foundation was called in to contain it. The Foundation conducted a number of tests, still trying to figure out all of its anomalous properties.

As mentioned before, I think this part may fit better in the central narrative than in additional notes. Is the language spoken by the SCP a new language you've made or a language that already exists? Is the foreign man attacking anyone in sight the SCP or a normal person affected by the SCP? I think that the Foundation would be undercover to contain the anomaly (unless this is taking place in the Broken Masquerade Canon).

I think that's what I have for now for critique. I'd suggest asking for critique from the Butterfly Squad Roster for some more help.

Last edited on 17 Jun 2020 18:45 by Phiiota Show more

Re: SCP Idea- The man of many voices (Seeking Greenlights)

The Pighead 18 Jun 2020 15:03

Had been summoned by PM, so here I come. Pighead In, let's take a look at your idea.

Elevator Pitch : OK, so not a bad start. There's an anomaly who is simple. At least, you have that.

Central Narrative : So, right now, I have some problems with this narrative. First of all, this is not really a narrative, this is more an expanded version of the Elevator Pitch without adding too much. This is an humanoid, when it talks to people, it harms them and it attacks people for no real reason and that's all. There's not really an interesting story here, tbh. Plus, we don't know much about your anomaly. How the man is able to do what he does? Why he attack random people on the street? And I think that the "We don't know what language he talks" part is too easy. The scientists of the Foundation had enough technology for figure out what type of language the anomaly use. So, yeah, not really interesting.

Hook : Your hook is made of questions and well, this is what I already want to see in your post. You need to put all the explanations you have in your pitch, even the ones who spoil, because the reviewers need to know everything about your idea in order to do complete reviews. And I admit that when your hook is questions that I already have, it's a little bit frustrating.

And that's all for me. No greenlight from me. The main problems I had with the anomaly is the lack of informations we had on its subject and the fact that it's just a thing that does a thing. If you're interested about anomalous languages, I encourage you to check the other SCPs with the tag "language" in it, it will help you to have ideas about the anomalous language of your skip and how it can be able to hurt people. Oh, and don't forget to ask other reviewers. It's all for me, Pighead Out.