SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

Summary:

An anomalous stretch of land

SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

Kenny Corvus 12 Jun 2020 04:45

An anomalous stretch of land surrounded by barbed wire fencing. Consequences await those that do not heed the "Beware of Dogs" signs on the fencing.

I moved and trimmed your thread summary, since it was taking up extra space in the main forum screen. Try to keep thread descriptions (the text in the little box under the thread title) and titles short so you don't crowd out other authors in the forum listing. ~Zyn

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Mystery

Page Layout: Basic SCP article layout, but with the added things such as newspaper clippings, chat forum screenshots, journal entries, emails, and letters. All added information will add to the lore of the anomaly.

Elevator Pitch: A battlefield memorial of the Franco-Prussian war abandoned due to the loss of funds in the 1920s. The battlefield/memorial site is surrounded in a barbed wire fence with "Beware of Dog" signs attached. When a human being enters the battlefield/memorial site when it is "closed" [following the original sites opening and closing times] creatures of many different body structures (equine to reptilian) will be constructed from any living material in the area (grass, plants, bugs, etc) and proceed to hunt down and terminate the intruders.

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Central Narrative: History of the land before the 1920s through newspaper clippings and journals. Interaction of the battlefield and the surrounding community through emails, forum screenshots, etc.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: Attention of this story will mainly be through outside eyes, whether it be from the past or present—it will be lore/history-focused and built up letters, emails, and past documents from the, now gone, workers.

Additional Notes: I have been working on the lore and discovery of this SCP concept for a long while. I wanted to make something you could find on those "Top 10 Abandoned Places" list, except in reality this place is an actual anomalous thing. There is no secret twist, simply a story built from the characters stories and conspiracies of the place.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 13 Jun 2020 05:29 by Zyn Show more

Re: SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

Boogey_Man23 12 Jun 2020 07:02

Noting that I chatted with the user on IRC a bit about this concept.

They mentioned a rough idea that these monsters are manifested because of the past negative actions / horrors of war (which, as I also said there, doesn't necessarily have to be explicitly stated in the article, but is good for an author to have an idea of in their mind).

I think this provides a kind of thematic direction for the narrative, but I would like to know a bit more about the plot beats that these outside documents will be used to go through - just what sort of content these news clippings, journals, etc. will have, and how that will carry a reader from the SCP's discovery/origins to a kind of revelation and conclusion for the story.

Re: SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

Kenny Corvus 12 Jun 2020 07:47

For the news clippings and journals, and etc—I plan on them mostly being conversation between people are directed at another person (for the letters). The newspaper clippings and letters will mostly be used to develop the past of the anomaly. Conversations between workers being the letters, and the newspaper clippings being used to give insight on the owner of the memorial and the "animal" attacks that happen on the property.

During the modern times of the story, I plan to use emails and "message screenshots" or "chat forum screenshots" to tell the story of a building conspiracy about the place, from the surrounding community. When someone intends to "blow the whistle" (shown in email), it leads to the conclusion of high grade amnesties needing to be used on all of the nearby community (and more further actions).

I am free to talk further in IRC chat or PM if necessary!

Re: SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

Captain Cold 12 Jun 2020 12:54

Hey there Kenny, I can't hand out greenlights but I can help crit your article. It seems you have a fairly good idea with what you want to do with the statue and how you want to do it, which is good. However my problem is this feels like it falls kind of flat? At the moment I see this as, a statue if you go near it at a certain time it kills you. And writing multiple logs about that seems almost repetitive. I would edit it a little to expand on what caused these monsters to manifest and why for a war memorial equine to reptilian animals are manifesting. For the moment it seems like war memorial and lizards don't really match. Other than that, I would think about what can carry your narrative through the years besides just news articles about people dying. Try giving the statue depth, maybe how it got there is the reason its anomalous? Or there were good intentions when it was placed but war corrupted it? That's my take on the idea for the moment, hope it helps!

Re: SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

Kenny Corvus 12 Jun 2020 16:09

The anomaly isn't a statue, the whole battlefield is anomalous. But I did plan on using newspaper clippings for much more than reporting the deaths or serious injuries that have occurred there during the years. I didn't plan on really giving it a reason as to why the land became anomalous, but I did chat with Boogey, above, and said I had an answer for why these anomalous properties exist.
Thank you for the criticism, I appreciate it very much!

Re: SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

DianaBerry 12 Jun 2020 13:43

[Placeholder, summoned by pm, will critique asap]

So overall I feel like you have a really neat concept here. I love the historical aspect, and love that you want to tell the story through old notes and newspaper clippings, and even add some online speculation. I do have a few concerns though.

 ♡Open Critique♡

While I love what you're going for with this, I'm a little bit iffy on the actual anomaly. The anomaly itself basically just makes these creatures which are then violent. I get it's war memorial, but I feel like "they attack and kill you" is just a bit cliche.

Personally, I feel like you could work something out with the land being anomalous, and not having the 'it kills you' effect. As it stands, the anomaly and story appear to be unrelated. What you need to do is find a way to connect these more closely. I love the historical aspect you have, try to tie that in with the story more.

You stay your story is going to be the history of the land and people of the time, which is cool. You'll need to make sure to choose characters that are easy and enjoyable to follow. Since this is going to be your narrative, it needs to be able to carry your story. What stories will you be telling? What will we see through these newspaper clippings and such? You also need to think, why should your audience care about your characters? About your stories? What emotions do you want the audience to feel? What is the theme?

Overall, I love what you're going for, but I think you need to iron out the fine details a little more, and try to connect the anomaly with the narrative.

That's all I got for now, hope I could help! Good luck!

Last edited on 12 Jun 2020 18:08 by DianaBerry Show more

Re: SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

Kenny Corvus 12 Jun 2020 19:27

Thank you so much for the criticism!
I will work on the anomaly to make it less cliche and match more with the narrative.
I am trying to have my narrative leave an emotional punch on the readers, mainly a feeling of satisfaction at the conclusion and a sense of being able to relate with the characters—especially in the more modern bits of the story.
Thank you again for the criticism!

Re: SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

Naveil 13 Jun 2020 20:33

Responding to IRC Request

So I really do like the core concept. Historical horror and emotion is something that can be really powerful if pulled off correctly.

That beings said, there are some narrative concerns, mainly in regards to how you plan to present it. I feel like there could be some more elaboration, but I'm not entirely sure about the newspaper clippings and such? I do like the outsider view aspect, and I suppose this is something that'll work better in practice.

In any case, I feel like you've received enough critique and have a good enough handle for me to contribute towards that. I'll give this a tentative greenlight. Just make sure you know where to insert the emotional punch, and format accordingly. I can't say I'm a fan of the texting spiel, but once again, it's something that can be ironed out during drafting.

Re: SCP Concept: "Beware of Dogs"

Kenny Corvus 13 Jun 2020 20:47

I will definitely be ironing things out more, especially when it comes to the narrative and the anomaly itself (I want to make it less cliche, and more fitting to the narrative after the critique I received from DianaBerry).
Thank you so much!