Lavender

Summary:

A humanoid scp that can see through people. Is a good friend but...

Lavender (Seeking Greenlight)

RobbedACop 08 Jun 2020 19:46

Seeking Greenlights: YES

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre: Drama/Emotional, Body Horror

Page Layout: Object Class, Containment, Description, Addendum, Experiment, Incident, Interview
(In order… Some Quotes/Events being an exception.)

Elevator Pitch: The subject can learn everything about any person by just facing them. With the two reasons why it has this ability…

First: is so the subject has a "talk" with anyone who has traumatized someone, and force them to find and beg for absolution from their victim, If the victim forgives their traumatizer, is to recieve a gift. Otherwise the traumatizer will proceed to do any types of self-harm methods untill death or their absolution from their victim. Forgived traumatizer will regenerate its body back to its original state, were it be forgiven after death.

Second: Aside from its savage side, the subject is known to be indulgent and friendly. It has tendencies to heal anyone's broken mentality by chatting with them, improving their morale and possibly curing their depression. The subject is not picky about any person and greatly enjoys speaking with anyone who wants to speak with it.

The good side of this SCP is against good people, and the bad side is for only the worst of the worst. Its more common to see the subject in a friendly and caring state, rather the opposite.

Central Narrative: The subject uses its main ability to see through people's personalities, past, and current state of mind, mainly is so the subject can act as a therapist for certain people. Subject's aggression for whom traumatized someone in their lives is to be used on experiments.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: Friendly but deadly, reasonable yet scary, savage when neccecary. The subject has immense dislike to who is not a nice person overall yet won't preform any anomaly effects on them unless they are worst of the worst, doesn't have records of homicide or deaths by its anomaly except for the incident log and experiments. Things can get emotional, or disturbing with it.

Additional Notes: I have a draft ready, still WIP before some reviewers say at least its "not bad". Will add more interviews and experiments (or already have / already at it) [English is my second language.]

Last edited on 13 Jun 2020 16:46 by RobbedACop Show more

Forum Criticism Team - Captain Post

Zyn 10 Jun 2020 05:11

Since this thread has fallen to page 6 with no responses, this is a quick staff reminder to the author that if you haven't yet, you should contact reviewers directly to request feedback as needed.

Please refer to this thread for more information: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13282692/how-to-get-more-reviews

If you have already reached out to multiple reviewers and received no reply, notify a staff member for assistance finding a reviewer.

Re: Lavender

Naveil 14 Jun 2020 18:30

I should preface this by saying that me and RobbedACop talked about this concept heftily on IRC, making various structural and narrative changes throughout.

+ Open Crit

Overall, this idea has good grounds for an emotional story, granted you take the correct approach. While you have something, in my mind, the SCP itself is very much a sympathetic therapist type humanoid. You could create an endearing story from interview logs, interactions, and the like.

On the flipside, I feel like you're delving a bit too far into some topics users might find uncomfortable. Trauma is something authors rarely mean to make levity of, but it comes about. In general, you should really take care when writing about this sort of stuff.
On the other hand, causing the traumatizers to, essentially, kill themselves via self-harm is an extreme approach that I can't see going down particularly well.

Don't get me wrong, although we talked extensively about X-man syndrome and what not, I actually don't mind the vigilante approach, assuming it's approached correctly. Take some time to read up on relevant guides and essays, such as this essay on character, and this essay on humanoid SCPs. Character will be absolutely crucial in this piece - making or breaking the article.

Finally, I want to talk about how you want to incorporate your narrative. You have a particularly thought-out behavior for the SCP, but the important part is how you display it. The plan, from what I can tell, is experiment logs with victims of trauma, and incident logs.
As I stated before, I can't say I'm big on what you have planned for the incident logs, so I'll leave the discretion to yourself to think about whether or not they're worth keeping. The experiment logs are pretty much crucial to everything, but once again, you really have to think about how you want to get the information across to the reader without intruding on the emotional strings you want to pluck.

So, no greenlight for now, mainly due to the concerns as stated above. Give your narrative some thought, and then you can find me again on IRC for round two. In any case, I'll leave it at that. Good luck!