The Adventures of Detective Mousetache

Summary:

A Mouse...with a Mousetache

The Adventures of Detective Mousetache

Dr Sage Evergreen 28 May 2020 05:44

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): Mystery/Comedy

Page Layout (Optional):

• Containment Procedures
• Description
• Chart detailing items in possession of the SCP, as well as their resources
• Chart detailing encounter of this particular SCP with other Safe-class SCPs in site 19
• A "Journal" detailing the detective's "Adventures" throughout the Foundation
• An Addendum detailing the death of said entity

Elevator Pitch: A mouse. But not just any mouse. A mouse with a mousetache, and he's a detective. He scurries about the Foundation all day, trying to solve various mysteries (ranging from who stole the Site Director's Sandwich to where Josie the Half Cat's backside is. When exposed to him, other rodents will also gain sentience and befriend said entity and reside with Detective Mousetache in the "Mouse House" (i.e. the collective containment chamber for Mousetache and his gang). He uses a toothpick as a staff, a sock as a sleeping bag, and a needle as a sword. Also, he hates cats. Especially Josie the Half Cat. They're going to have a lot of fights.

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Central Narrative: The primary story follows Moustache's various "Cases" in the Foundation, often dramatizing the smallest inconvenience into a full-blown disaster (he'll break into a keter-class cell and try to battle the entity inside because he thinks they stole a sandwich). Additionally, he treats Josie the Half Cat as a rival of sorts, often attempting to kill her by stabbing her with a two-inch needle. He will, surprisingly, grow and mature throughout the journal. At the very end, he sacrifices himself during a containment breach in order to help restore power to the facility.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: It's a mouse with a Mousetache. Who doesn't love Mice with Mousetaches?

In all seriousness, this article is supposed to serve as comic relief, similar to the like of the eye pods or 999, even if he's not as useful. The mystery aspect is supposed to be aligned with the theme for the 5000 contest, so I figured that would be something interesting to throw in. The character is supposed to have a "No dream too big, No hero too small" message to it. Its supposed to be a sweet story, even if the innocent, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed protagonist gets brutally slaughtered in the end by Josie the Half-Cat.

Additional Notes: I will admit, this article is kinda-sorta based off of Geronimo Stilton, a series that was pretty popular back when I was a younger. I forgot about the book series for a while, then it popped back into my head one day, and I thought: why not make an SCP about it?

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 28 May 2020 05:45 by Zyn Show more

Re: The Adventures of Detective Mousetache

Comrade Waldo 28 May 2020 20:20

Hello there Sage, how's it going?
Mind if I take a look at it?

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This is an interesting concept, reminds me of the movie "The Great Mouse Detective". Anyways, I do have some questions about this idea:

• Did the mouse who later became Detective Mousetache, was he sentient since he was born? Or did he somehow developed that sentience?
• Was he a human being who somehow ended in a mouse body, and his past occupation was a detective?
• Or did he gained sentience, and read some Sherlock Holmes and dec
• Why does he hate cats, specifically, Josie? I understand that it is a mouse, but since it's sentient, he can have his reasons.
• How did the Foundation became aware of his existence?

Like I said before, this is an interesting idea, and I hope you can answer my doubts. If you do so, don't doubt in contacting me for another look at this!
Good luck Sage, and keep writing!

Re: The Adventures of Detective Mousetache

The Pighead 28 May 2020 20:51

Hello, author, Pighead Out. Let's take a look at your idea. And I will keep this short.

An adventure of a mouse detective in the Foundation. An entire adventure that we will view through the eyes of a little mice, who will solve cases and having some goofy adventures. I'm personally really fond of it and plus, I used to love Geronimo Stilton when I was a kid, so it's a plus. It can bring many interesting and/or funny things and I don't even know how to begin if I was forced to do a list.

So, no questions, no other blablas, hard greenlight for this! Now, author, you will need another one for using the Drafts Forum. So, go contact another reviewers (especially the ones at the Butterfly Squad) and I wish you success for the writing of the draft! It's all for me, Pighead Out.

Re: The Adventures of Detective Mousetache

Naveil 31 May 2020 19:33

Responding to PM Request

I'll have to be honest and say that I really like this. It seems like the perfect little romp that can be emotional and silly at the same time. Maybe it's just my Pinky and the Brain nostalgia coming into play, who knows d:

It, of course, depends on how you play it out, but I don't see any outstanding problems with your pitch at the moment. Just remember to stick to the emotion you're trying to evoke for each scene and make sure you make the mouse as lovable as possible before you crush his and the reader's dreams at the end.

Enough blathering anyhow, take this greenlight. Good luck!