The reconstructive feline humanoid

Summary:

An electric based humanoid entity that can change the construction of molecules

The reconstructive feline humanoid

GlitchyPC 02 Apr 2020 23:15

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Elevator Pitch: So i had an idea for a female humanoid who has the ability of molecular reconstruction and some control over static electricity. I had the idea for her to be a natural born SCP (giving the static) but then have some form of over exposure to radiation, then presenting the idea of molecular reconstruction as a mutation of already anomalous cells or DNA. In addition, SCP-XXXX was previously contained by CI before being taken by the foundation. (This might have to be explained some in file. This probably might be a CI test with SCP-XXXX gone very wrong)

Central Narrative: I planned to make the area of effect about 10 meters, and that objects have to be charged with her own electricity. I had also planned to maybe make some other limitations inside the area of effect (simple things like dirtect contact/sight, or a storng memory of the general structure of what shes changing ect.)

I also had some ideas about SCP-XXXX involving a somewhat slow revelation of her abilities. Along the lines of something similar to:

Upon initial containment, the foundation themselves werent fully aware of what SCP-XXXX could do, but she was classed keter due to being "unstable". Later on she would be reclassified as euclid as she would be more willing to stay in containment and general stability as it wouldnt take as much resources to contain her, and itd be "easier" to keep her contained. I had the idea to maybe have her full abilities come to light via an incident. Perhaps something that happened while speaking with a researcher that called for tests to be done. At this i wasnt too sure whether shed be reclassified as keter as molecular reconstruction is a big thing, but she's still a static based anomaly in the end.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: i believe the idea could be interesting to work with, soemthing maybe a little similar to a reality bender but with all these smaller limitations. In addtion, it opens up a load of writing for things like tales around the SCP in to doffrrent parts of the SCP.

Last edited on 03 Apr 2020 12:09 by GlitchyPC Show more

Re: The reconstructive feline humanoid

Truc Linh 03 Apr 2020 00:55

Hi author! We have a standardized format for concepts that we would like you to use. You can find the template here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13095662/required-reading:how-to-use-this-forum-ideas

Please edit your post to the correct format, and if you are having trouble editing, click the "edit" function under the "options" tab to the lower right of your post. Thank you!

Last edited on 03 Apr 2020 02:35 by Truc Linh Show more

Re: The reconstructive feline humanoid

Truc Linh 03 Apr 2020 00:57

T.L. at your service!

+ Here lies crit crit

So regarding your elevator pitch, I'm struggling to see why the entity was exposed to radiation. How did that happen? Was it because of Chaos Insurgency? If so, what were they trying to gain from this? We know where this goes, but there isn't much of a why to it.

Also, wouldn't the entity be suffering from some major health problems? I'm Also struggling to see how this mutation even caused this new property. Mutations happen at random, and I doubt all the cells would have the exact same mutation for this.

Ultimately, you mentioned the entity being taken by the Foundation, but how exactly? The Chaos Insurgency is directly antagonistic to the Foundation, so I doubt their gonna give up the entity without a fight.

Moving on to the narrative,

storng memory of the general structure of what shes changing ect

I feel like this would require some knowledge about molecular chemistry (or something like that). Where exactly would they get this knowledge from? Did the Chaos Insurgency raise and teach them? I feel like that might be a bit strange since you mentioned them as a test subject and the "test gone very wrong" part.

some ideas about SCP-XXXX involving a somewhat slow revelation of her abilities

I don't really see this. If they were already born with anomalous abilities, would this really be a huge shock to them? There's really no characterization or personality you've given to this entity to support this.

classed keter due to being "unstable"

What do you mean by "unstable"? Could you elaborate?

Overall, there's a lot of narrative potential that could help support making the entity more unique, but right now, the entity itself comes off as sorta a quirky OC someone just made up. Perhaps you could try adding some personality to them through interview logs to really bring out the emotional impact you want your audience to feel.

If you have any questions regarding my critique, please let me know. You may need to follow up with someone from the Butterfly Squad Roster or IRC for greenlights and more critique. You're also welcome to PM me for a second look if desired.

Last edited on 03 Apr 2020 20:11 by Truc Linh Show more

Re: The reconstructive feline humanoid

GlitchyPC 03 Apr 2020 21:28

To start, yes, it was due to the CI. Something to try and improve the entity so they could untilize her for themselves. Im not too sure about health problems, however, this kinda links with the unstable part, the entity cant control these new additions, and it would take its effects on her body. My main idea was something akin to "glitching", something of the new constructive abilities almost destorying and then rebuilding her body at randoms moments, causing extreme pain to it. In terms of it being taken by foundation, i was either going to present the idea of a "raid" of sorts of which it was taken from, or the idea of a breach from it causing it to come under foundation radar and later be contained.

The memory wasnt my main focus, but an idea. My main focus of that was direct sight and contact, and the idea of it having to charge an object before those abilities can be used.

The slow revelation was going to be apart of a few interview logs, and maybe an incident log or two, of which brought further knowledge of the full capabilities of the entity to the foundation. It not that it doesnt know, but that it refuses to use or show certain things to them, but eventually does through either accident or actual cooperation. Ie. She shows them the constructive abilities on her own form, but refuses to use it on other objects or people, but eventually does later on in the file.

Re: The reconstructive feline humanoid

Naveil 30 May 2020 21:45

Responding to PM Request - will crit soon-ish

First off, the main thing I notice is that you're steering yourself directly into X-man syndrome, with your SCP just being a human with superpowers. Despite everything, I don't think this is a sin, but it largely depends on how you take the rest of the narrative.

Like, in my opinion, the main way to sell these types of stories are by having character-driven narratives. The main problem I have with your concept is that it doesn't really go that route, and the narrative you are trying to present feels a tad too lackluster for my liking. I like the idea of her realizing her abilities (even if does come across as too cliché) but the testing and reclassification spiel just reads like filler. You sort of have to think about how you can elevate these points to make them interesting narrative-wise, or whether or not they're even worth keeping.

Another point is the actual anomaly itself, which you don't seem to be doing a lot with? Like, I understand that it's most likely a gateway into the actual narrative, more than anything else (which I already voiced my concerns on), but giving attention to the anomaly and not actually incorporating it feels like a missed opportunity.

Ultimately, the story you could tell feels very promising. A character rescued from the CI and learning to cope with everything, however cliché, could make for something neat. However, the narrative feels too unfocused and is sorta going all over the place. I'll leave you with a few guides, namely this guide on humanoid objects, this guide on incorporating narrative into your article and this essay on character. I'll leave the rest up to you, good luck author!

Last edited on 31 May 2020 14:06 by Naveil Show more