Candy & Death

Summary:

Halloween is fun, isn't it? Another spooky monster like all the others. Yep! Still bad at describing things.

Candy & Death

SilkyFurry 13 Mar 2020 20:38

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article/Tale [I'm on the fence]

Genre (Optional): Horror, Tragedy [?]

Page Layout (Optional): Normal

Elevator Pitch: After the C.I attempts to re-create something like SCP-963 it goes poorly, gets loose and mayhem ensues.

Central Narrative: The Insurgcney attempt to re-create 963 or 963-2 as well as a few other yet known SCP's to create a hopefully loyal monster to do their dirty work. Obviously black magic is a tricky stick and it gets out. It's one goal to kill those that have wronged it yet it can't remember who it once was or why anything other than filling the void in its heart stomach

Hook/Attention-Grabber:
Made from a flesh-like substance that can be regenerated via the consumption of human flesh.
Most of it is in the logs and back story.
Only comes out during Full and New Moons; can both steal souls and make zombies[?]. Each new [minion] acts as a set of eyes and ears.

Additional Notes:
It's got a few kinks here and there I'm unsure of the Hook section on how to describe it. So here's some extra.
It has a preference for candy, sweets pretty much anything with sugar, it's child-like and lures people to it by looking defenseless before cutting/bitting/scratching which after a period of 2hrs-5 days will make the person more compliant to it's wishes and a minion if an amulet is made using both it's blood and the victim, it can be stopped by breaking the amulet it's tied to, the original one at least to which it is always acutely aware of where it is. It collects metal and other various objects to create it's minion's. It's ironically scared of it's own appernce and light.

P.S There are a few things I'm on the fence about and I'm not fairly good at presenting my ideas into structured formats to present. More do first, and fix later. Any and all tips are helpful! I know I've read the articles to help but I'm still bad at wording things.

Last edited on 14 Mar 2020 03:43 by SilkyFurry Show more

Re: Candy & Death

MalyceGraves 14 Mar 2020 03:20

{Placeholder}

Oh boy. I've read the updated entry, and my opinion remains unchanged.

Annnd, here we go! ->

After the C.I attempts to re-create something like SCP-963 it goes poorly, gets loose and mayhem ensues.

Callbacks to series 1 skips rarely do well these days. The site has largely moved on from such things, and the flood of new authors that have clearly only read series 1 skips have soured those tired tropes even more.

Made from a flesh-like substance that can be regenerated via the consumption of human flesh.

This is just lolmurder without enough of a narrative framework to make it sound at all appealing to me.

There are other ways to write about the CI using "recovered" SCP items/objects to do their "dirty work" without making them unkillable murdermachines that the Foundation has to handle. Also, there are lots of CI operatives that have no problem getting their hands dirty.

There are a few things I'm on the fence about and I'm not fairly good at presenting my ideas into structured formats to present.

One of the things I'm really worried about here is that all of the articles on this site, all the tales, all the GoI-formats, etc, they're all ideas presented in structured formats. If you are struggling to present your idea here in a paired down way, then how am I to have the confidence in you to believe that your full fleshed draft will be any better?

I know that sounds harsh, but that's the reality I'm looking at here, from your own words.

There are lots to do here besides jumping in and immediately contributing. I suggest that you spend a bit of time checking out some of the more recent work and letting your ideas percolate a bit.

Last edited on 14 Mar 2020 03:43 by MalyceGraves Show more

Re: Candy & Death updated

SilkyFurry 14 Mar 2020 03:27

It doesn't sound harsh it's your own opinion to each their own; on a different note I've noticed a lot of people saying that using the other organizations is for 'lesser' works but hey Evey idea even after greenlighted change. To have something be like (blank series) but also tell people to do something different from it seems counter productive.

Tho that's not my point, yeah after putting it down on paper I like the idea but I hate how it looks. I don't plan to contribute I'd like too but I don't feel my writing style is….up to scratch with the site now maybe you'll disagree but those are just all ideas to see how it'd work for me in my stories; there is an idea I do have and it's a bit of a 'passion project' but just won't fit here due to how it's built. If you'd like I can give you the giszt of it if anyone reads the replies but that's my take

Thanks for your feedback I'll see you around

Last edited on 14 Mar 2020 22:59 by SilkyFurry Show more