Idea: God is Fat

Summary:

The Aztec Sun God has had one too many sacrifices - the Foundation needs to help him with his mobility issues before the world ends.

Idea: God is Fat

LifeBot 06 Mar 2020 22:22

Inspired by SCP-3740 (God is Dumb). Tell me what you think.

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Genre: Comedy

Page Type: SCP Article

Page Layout: Standard format.

Narrative: Not really, aside from preexisting Aztec Mythologies.

Elevator Pitch:

+ show block

The Aztec Sun God Huitzilopochtli keeps up his strength through blood sacrifices done at the altar at the great pyramid.

This is done because Huitzilopochtli is constantly fighting Coyolxauhqui, the Aztec Moon Goddess. Should Huitzilopochtli's strength falter, Coyolxauhqui will end the world.

Right before the Aztec Empire fell to the conquistadors, Aztec High Priest performs ritual to make it so that all violent human deaths will count as a 'sacrifice' to Huitzilopochtli since once the empire is gone, there will be no one to carry out the sacrifice at the pyramid.

this works for a while, but human population grows exponentially, and so does the # of violent deaths by proportion.

The kicker comes during WWI and WWII, and from an overabundance of 'sacrifices', Huitzilopochtli becomes morbidly obese

The Foundation now has to carry the Fat Huitzilopochtli around the Earth 24/7/365 in an aircraft since he's literally too fat to fly around the earth.

Hook: The title itself 'God is Fat' would be nice as a starter, but I'd appreciate some ideas on how to draw the reader in.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

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Pour me a drink because I need it.

Last edited on 07 Mar 2020 04:14 by Zyn Show more

Re: Idea: God is Fat

v0idPlayer 06 Mar 2020 23:06

Dear almighty, this is gonna be tough to say…

I advise that you check nearby posts, and check some of the stickied ones. There is a designated template that most ideas should follow.

To the actual crit, why a sun god? Why not SCP-343 (or at least a replica of him)? Do all deaths after this incident count towards this "sacrifice"? Why does he turn obese, does he just eat all of the sacrifices like a terribly written vore comic? Why would the Foundation have to carry Huitzilopochtli around the earth in an aircraft, would they rocket him up into the exosphere so that way gravity is lessened, and a satellite carries him around? Why would the sun god fly around the Earth anyway?

Overall, please add more detail so that way this isn't just one large misunderstanding.
Cheers,

- v0id

Re: Idea: God is Fat

LifeBot 06 Mar 2020 23:53

Ah. didn't notice mandatory format. Added it. Thanks for pointing it out.

Why would the sun god fly around the Earth anyway?

In Aztec Mythology, the Sun has to be constantly chasing the moon in order to ward off the infinite night from descending and consuming Coatlicue (The mother earth)

does he just eat all of the sacrifices like a terribly written vore comic?

God no. I was planning on explaining this by doing psuedo-scientific hand waving about how a proper sacrificial ritual would have greater thaumatic symbolism and therefore power, but in lieu of this preferred mode, the high priest opted to go for the best option he had at the time.

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Pour me a drink because I need it.

Last edited on 06 Mar 2020 23:57 by LifeBot Show more

Junior Staff Post

MalyceGraves 07 Mar 2020 02:20

v0idPlayer,

While I appreciate the enthusiasm, please be more conscientious in your critique. Crit staff prioritize threads with no responses, so offering unhelpful or low-effort criticism is ultimately detrimental to the OP getting the help they're seeking.

Per the criticism policy, forum critique should be relatively in-depth. If you are unwilling or unable to adhere to this, please do not.

Thank you.