New SCP Tale Idea.

New SCP Tale Idea.

SErichenuff 04 Mar 2020 07:38

!DISCLAIMER! If you want to understand any of this read SCP-342 first.

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: Tale

Genre: Horror

Elevator Pitch: This tale is based on SCP-342 and follows a young man as he rides a bus and soon becomes erratic at his vision outside

Central Narrative: The tale follows James, a young man who has a date downtown buys a bus ticket which is SCP-342 in disguise, after he boards a bus he is soon taken by SCP-342 and then the rest of the tale is his decent into the effects of SCP-342 and how it effects you on more of a personal level, as in the document you don't see this placed into the view of the person.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: This would be the first SCP-342 tale and would put the horror of SCP-342 into a more first person view point. (You should read SCP-342, if you haven't keep reading) I personally think that SCP-342 is one of the most horrific SCPs on the site and I would like to use the effects to make a handcrafted story about how an SCP can effect a civilians daily life.

Additional Notes: It should be of note that the man has no clue on SCPs or the Foundation.

Last edited on 04 Mar 2020 20:31 by SErichenuff Show more

Re: New SCP Tale Idea.

MalyceGraves 04 Mar 2020 18:42

{placeholder}

Some crit staff use placeholders to claim specific posts and to be used to keep track of the ideas they are planning on reviewing.

On to your review ->

Callbacks to series 1 have been done over and over and over again. For the post part, the content listed in series 1 exists as a legacy, and does not reflect the current narrative being built on the site as a whole.

"Decent into madness" is not particularly descriptive, and it doesn't give me a good idea of the narrative you're trying to present here. I get that James is buying a bus ticket and the bus itself isn't what he expected, but will your 'decent into madness' rely entirely upon the narrative crafted into 342?

Your "hook", as described, is not a hook. From the wikipedia entry:

A narrative hook (or just hook) is a literary technique in the opening of a story that "hooks" the reader's attention so that he or she will keep on reading. The "opening" may consist of several paragraphs for a short story, or several pages for a novel, but ideally it is the opening sentence in the book.

Telling me that this is going to be the first story about 342 is not useful, as I haven't read 342. What you are telling me is that I have to read 342 in order for your story to be interesting.

I will not be giving this the go ahead at this time.

Last edited on 04 Mar 2020 19:38 by MalyceGraves Show more

Re: New SCP Tale Idea.

SErichenuff 04 Mar 2020 19:28

[REDACTED]

Last edited on 04 Mar 2020 20:29 by SErichenuff Show more

Re: New SCP Tale Idea.

SErichenuff 04 Mar 2020 20:33

Thanks for your review, as you have noticed I have changed the things in the places you recommended and to be honest when I saw the placeholder I thought it was some sort of insult as to my idea (Which is fine) So thanks for informing me that it isn't! :>