Kid Scientist

Summary:

Kid realitybender creating minor SCPs by failing science experiments [thread locked, repeat]

(Kid Scientist) Im a real Scientist Mom!

Frygeist 27 Feb 2020 04:16

I was infromed of the existence of Eric. Whether he will be mentioned (in a way that the foundation reflects what this SCP could be able to do for them) depends on the draft as i heard opposing comments on whether to include him or not.

I was told to post my pitch here, so here goes nothing.
"The SCP is a realitybending male Kid of about 8 years with below average IQ who is not aware of his abilities. The Kid is brought to Foundation attention after a backgroundcheck of a D-Class reveals that the D-Class's Kid made a sciencefair model-volcano that spewed a small amount of magma which led to a fire in the schools gym.

The Article itself would mainly focus on the minor SCPs the Kid produces the relationship between the Kid and his Father, aswell as their relationship to the Foundation. In exchange for cooperation with the Foundation the D-Class and Kid get some quality family time , until Parent convinces Kid of an Experiment which lets both of them escape.

The Article will focus secondarily on the stuff the kid builds, for example: a tincan celphone, working with little to no interference, although the cord connecting the two cans has been cut (thinking of these and their test logs is really fun).

The restrictions to the Kids powers are: the scp works when the Kid first presents it to his Father and seizes to work if the Father seems to not be amazed by it. Worded diffrently: it works if the Father is amazed by it upon first contact. The Foundation manipulates the kid into telling it what the father would like, and the father into amazed states by constantly amnestesizing him to reach amazement (although he would be amazed by his child anyways, he may not be amazed by what weaponry the foundation wants the child to build).

All in all its a (not that bright) kid that wants his father to be amazed by his DiY stuff , and a Parent wanting best for his son, and the foundation trying to use the Kids inventions to create gear for them. What do you think about this as an SCP? Is the Escape-part a little too much?
Thanks for your help in advance!"

The strikethrough-ed text is rewritten in reply to Fishes critique below, i recommend to check it out as the conversation provides insight into where the Article is headed and elaborates on the Father-Son relationship, the Foundation's plans and the SCP's powers.

Last edited on 05 Mar 2020 17:48 by Frygeist Show more

Re: (Kid Scientist) Im a real Scientist Mom!

Norman Lennock Manne 01 Mar 2020 19:41

I think you have a solid primary concept. All of the twists on classic child science stuff would be fun. I think that you should slip in some really dangerous stuff in with the fun stuff, maybe, and this might be controversial, even add one where the results are redacted in some capacity but its implied that it went really, really wrong.

I agree that the kid and parent shouldn't escape. I do think, however, that you could have them try, and the parent doesn't survive the attempt. If you do it right, it'll be really emotional to see the kid and dad bond, only for the dad to die at the end. I also like the suggestion of having the Foundation try to use him to make useful stuff, and perhaps that's where the redacted experiment comes in.

In fact, since the kid has to believe in himself and believe that his stuff works, maybe as the relationship builds, his powers do because of the love and support from his dad. That can also explain why they let the D class work with him since the kid has a special relationship and is more effective with his dad cheering him on.

I also agree that we don't get much in the way of what kind of person the dad is. My suggestion would be to keep it vague, but have the dad be regretful of what he did. Then you could tie it in thematically. The dad made lots of bad decisions, but now he's doing something right and is doing it for someone other than himself. When he tries to escape, he's backslid and is being selfish again, hence he dies.

Re: (Kid Scientist) Im a real Scientist Mom!

Frygeist 02 Mar 2020 10:12

First off, thank you for your thorough reply.

I agree that the kid and parent shouldn't escape. I do think, however, that you could have them try, and the parent doesn't survive the attempt.

I think that you should slip in some really dangerous stuff in with the fun stuff, maybe […] even add one where the results are redacted in some capacity but its implied that it went really, really wrong.

I really like both suggestions and would like to incorporate the redacted experiment (if i have your "ok"). Firstly where it just states it failed, and a second try with diffrent conditions (father is there, classes have started), resulting in casualties and the child being amnestecized. There is a chance that i am not able to execute it well and it results in an unnecessary block of [REDACTED]. Please don't be disappointed if it does not make the final cut.

I was quite proud of my ending. Well, okay, proud is a big word. Maybe satisfied. Yours is also great, characterizing the Father in it's process. A problem i have with it: i do not think that the Kid would react well to the death of his Father at "this" point in time. Of course i have not said when the Article ends in relation to where it started, e.g.: How old the child is at that moment, but i did not plan going further then 11 or 12 (and this would just be to justify describing the effect of the classes and to leave room for multiple experiments). It could lead to the typical "unable to controll powers"-moment, which would result in termination of the child. This ending would be bland so it'd need to be justified having the kid react diffrently. I will give some thought to it.

Have you read my reply to Fishes (to date) last message below? There i elaborate on the "kid works for foundation" ending and further it by adding a note from the Kids future-self. I won't post it word for word here because i don't want to be repetetive. Please check it out :)

Thank you for the inspiration!

Last edited on 02 Mar 2020 13:51 by Frygeist Show more

Re: Kid Scientist

F15H35 27 Feb 2020 13:18

[Placeholder. Will crit soon]

There are some elements that are logical and somewhat interesting but how it ends just doesn't do it.

So in essence, whatever the kid believes in comes true in which it is reflected on the various inventions and experiments they create. There's some logic in that but I just don't find much about it interesting. Maybe it's just me not convinced on the whole "other minor scp's" the kid has but I'm not entirely sure. (Thought came into mind. If whatever the child believes comes true, then technically the Foundation can try to exploit this under guise of experiments. Like make a laser gun out of scrap metal and wires.)

The narrative here you propose is about the Father and child bonding as they are both in custody and then the Father tells him about an experiment that lets them escape. This doesn't really sit well with the site audience. The article detailing that they escape doesn't really live up to the Contain motto of the Foundation. It also makes the Foundation look incompetent in containing a literal D Class and his 8 year old reality bender.

Along with that, there's just no personality shown to the Father that gives my exact judgement on their character. Is the Father supposed to some sleazy criminal or a loving and protective Father?

Overall, I'm not entirely convince of the idea. The whole only works on belief seem logical but the narrative needs some work. The narrative feels a bit bland and not explained too well which makes my crit a bit cloudy. I suggest explaining a bit more and try to convince on the idea.

Last edited on 27 Feb 2020 13:54 by F15H35 Show more

Re: Kid Scientist

Frygeist 27 Feb 2020 18:12

Thank you for the constructive critique, i hope i can elaborate the SCP a little further.

There's some logic in that but I just don't find much about it interesting

Sad to hear that, i have a blast thinking about the Stuff the Kid is able to produce. For example: Truly invisible Ink or a Bean-growing-Kit convincing the Kid to grow other stuff: Kid proceeds to grow a Sandwich-tree by using Breadcrumbs.
Also that the Kid is forbidden to receive certain pieces of fiction, like McGuyver and every Sci-Fi novel, is a compelling thought to me.

+ show block

• the Foundation can try to exploit this under guise of experiments

This part you proposed had me wondering: How does the Foundation engage reality benders? I found this particularly interesting Document: the goc supplemental humanoid guide. By these standards the Kid would be a Type Green realitybender being on the verge of Phase 2: Experimantation. Because Type Greens can only alter what they percieve amnestics work on the child, giving the Foundation an exit strategy. Therefore i suppose the Foundation would give the Kid special and engineering classes as to controll the realitybending effect (alluding to the minor SCPs only working if the Kid is convinced that they should). These classes will spiral into more advanced Inventions as your aforementioned Laserpistol. Foundation's Goal is to harvest the SCPs minor realitybending abilitys to create Tangential technology/repair/ build protective Gear for them, for example: interference-free communication systems (the Cans), ammuntion free Guns, clothing that can serve as an astronaut suit, all of which are contrary to the usual MTF look. I can see an MTF commentary:

"I am not taking that into combat. Why?? because it is a Metal Can! Couldn't they have atleast, i don't know, painted it or something?"

Added by a Lieutnant's request to change the invention's appearance to be more suitable for operations, which results in the Kid receiving design classes aswell.
The Kid does not believe it can create concious objects and because the Foundation does not profit from such concious objects there is no point in trying to get the Kid to make one.
The experiment logs will provide examples of the inventions, as well as showing the manipulation the Foundation does to the Child ("You have recocgnised that your Parents will meet you more often if you do well, didn't you? Well the truth is that they have work to do as well, but you could help them finish their work faster. The faster you repair suit the faster they return form their mission")
These logs (+ the family meeting logs mentioned later) will be the main part of this Article.

• > Is the Father supposed to some sleazy criminal or a loving and protective Father?

The Father is the protective kind, concerned about whether his Son is treated well enough and obviously does not want the Child to grow up in this hellscape. Due to him being overly Protective the family meetings consist of not only the Child and father, but also a Researcher resembling the Kid's mother to regulate the Father's input on the Child's views of the Foundation. Said Researcher receives acting classes and learns to imersonate the Mother. The Father is strictly forbidden to acknowledge that she is not the Kid's real Mother. He is cooperative with Foundation demands, in return for more time with his Son and no dangerous Experiments being conducted on his Son (acknowledged, but no proof given for the latter). The Father will be given the Task of cleaning the Cells of mostly Safe SCPs as to not endanger the manipulation of the Child.
I enjoy the Log's of the family meetings boiling down to the Kid asking why it is in this strange Place and being answered that he is becoming a real Scientist for a real secret Agency and the Father choosing his words very carefully and receiving stern looks from the "Mother" from time to time.

• > It also makes the Foundation look incompetent in containing a literal D Class and his 8 year old reality bender.

I was unsure about the ending either. It is clear form the way i summarized that the Escape-part is not thaught out well and does not fit the narrative.
The Article will end on a Note on what to do when the Father dies: "Depending on the SCP's maturity, it's bond to Researcher [motherrole-researcher] and it's views on the Foundation as a whole it will be informed of it's Fathers Death. If the SCP reaches maturity before the Father passes, and regarding the aforementioned factors, it will be left the Choice to work for the Foundation in exchange for SCP XX Father's freedom. The Father will lose his memory on his time spent with the Foundation."

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 01 Mar 2020 16:03 by Frygeist Show more

Re: Kid Scientist

F15H35 29 Feb 2020 06:39

[Placeholder. Feedback soon]

Hmm. There's substance. I like that.

Feedback

Sad to hear that, i have a blast thinking about the Stuff the Kid is able to produce. For example: Truly invisible Ink or a Bean-growing-Kit convincing the Kid to grow other stuff: Kid proceeds to grow a Sandwich-tree by using Breadcrumbs.

Also that the Kid is forbidden to receive certain pieces of fiction, like McGuyver and every Sci-Fi novel, is a compelling thought to me.

So it's still the "perception in belief" type of reality bending which applies logically to the child's age. Also reasonable for the child not to receive any fiction nor invention involved books.

Therefore i suppose the Foundation would give the Kid special and engineering classes as to controll the realitybending effect (alluding to the minor SCPs only working if the Kid is convinced that they should).

"I am not taking that into combat. Why?? because it is a Metal Can! Couldn't they have atleast, i don't know, painted it or something?".

Added by a Lieutnant's request to change the invention's appearance to be more suitable for operations, which results in the Kid receiving design classes aswell.

Okay, first to address is the use of classes. While I agree that the Foundation needs to convince the kid into thinking the inventions work, I don't think high education of engineering is needed. At most it would just be home school education and make believe. Why home school education? Because the father, finding a loophole to his cooperation, wants at least his kid to grow up smart in case the kid gets set free and would need a job. I mean, overly protective father should have his child some decent education right? (Though this may just lengthen the overall article so it's up to you if you add this bit)

Secondly, it's just the MTF being weirded out about the whole "can comm" thing. I believe there are some MTF groups that use SCP's in field and most of the time it's almost common to them and they have dealt with weirder things. Surely a can that has non-interfering properties is less weird than a girl that can manipulate real time in photographs.

The Article will end on a Note on what to do when the Father dies: "Depending on the SCP's maturity, it's bond to Researcher [motherrole-researcher] and it's views on the Foundation as a whole it will be informed of it's Fathers Death. If the SCP reaches maturity before the Father passes, and regarding the aforementioned factors, it will be left the Choice to work for the Foundation in exchange for SCP XX Father's freedom. The Father will lose his memory on his time spent with the Foundation."

I kind of find this a bit too strict imo. Seeing as how this is situation regarding the father's well being and the child's maturity, it boils down to the father being alive or dead and the kid being used in the Foundation. If the Father dies, the child is told about his death. The one thing I don't understand is why would they set the father free knowing that he's probably about to die from old age? It's best to keep him in custody and hopefully the kid doesn't realize what's going on.

Also, it's not really best to tell the kid of his years in the Foundation so the kid doesn't suddenly lose trust of them.

(A thought came into mind, who originally was in custody of this child? If the child was going to school, who was taking care of him/her? Orphanage? The real mother?)

Overall, I kind of like where this is heading. A reality bender that only makes inventions work through its belief and a D class father bonding with his child under Foundation surveillance. There's a bit of me that thinks that this is a family involved story and another bit that thinks this would be more scp involved. Either way it seems like an interesting article. I'm a bit iffy but I'm going to gives this my greenlight. I think with enough work this could be a good read. Since this is your first greenlight, I suggest you reach out to people in the Butterfly Squad Roster or the IRC Chat for people to crit this and possibly greenlight.

Last edited on 29 Feb 2020 09:48 by F15H35 Show more

Re: Kid Scientist

Frygeist 29 Feb 2020 16:27

Oh Boy, Here i Go replying again!

About your Points:

+ show block

While I agree that the Foundation needs to convince the kid into thinking the inventions work, I don't think high education of engineering is needed.

I May have not made myself clear, the engineering classes are not actual engineering classes. These "special" classes are themselves make believe classes that are used to manipulte the Child to produce certain inventions. For example: the Kid will be taught the opposite of the first rule of Thermodynamics, in response allowing the Child to create Perpetuum mobiles.

Surely a can that has non-interfering properties is less weird than a girl that can manipulate real time in photographs.

Most uses of anomalies utilized by the Foundation are highly optimized, the exception being human/sentient SCPs which are therefore used very rarely. IMO the Foundation would try it's best to influence the Child to produce optimal inventions.

The one thing I don't understand is why would they set the father free knowing that he's probably about to die from old age?

The Kid will grow Fond of the Foundation while the Father knows what (or whom) the Foundation sacrifices in order to experiment on SCPs and occasionally "defend" humanity. The Kid will notice his Fathers misery as time passes therefore it would seem logical for him to Set His Father free. On another Note: the Father is 40ish, so by the time the kid hits a mature age (20-25) the Father will be 55ish years old.
I did not plan to jump Forward in time, but it would make sense for the Kid to receive a letter from his future-self (through a timetravel invention, invented by his future-self) telling him: " We did good, Father is Happy at last. Be compliant. He is all we have" hinting at the fact, that he discovered "motherrole-Researcher" not to be bis real Mother.

There's a bit of me that thinks that this is a family involved story and another bit that thinks this would be more scp involved.

It is hard to predict which side will prevail, but i think it will be family centered

Thank you for the Greenlight, lets See whether other reviewers approve

Last edited on 01 Mar 2020 19:37 by Frygeist Show more

Re: Kid Scientist

TJKroeger 29 Feb 2020 14:30

I like the concept as a doctor wondertainment child. Bonus points if your future articles use gadgets made by the child. The narrative seems solid and I think if ya want to write an "escape the foundation" it would work better as a tale independent from the article itself.

Re: Kid Scientist

Mr Illuim 29 Feb 2020 17:47

That is a good idea. Its cute that the kid that can make fun SCPs like the tin cans, and I like the story about the kid breaking out(But I wouldn't go too much into detail about him breaking out in the article). Overall it seems like a good SCP but, to me it seems a little like SCP-239 and SCP-100-J combined.

I'm not sure, correct me if i'm wrong.

Last edited on 29 Feb 2020 17:48 by Mr Illuim Show more

Re: Kid Scientist

Frygeist 01 Mar 2020 03:03

Thank you for your input! The escape part has been reworked (if you like, read the conversation with Fishes above).

Overall it seems like a good SCP but, to me it seems a little like SCP-239 and SCP-100-J combined.

All in all it boils down to the combination of those, but hopefully only on a top-level. It is supposed to focus on the Father-Son relationship as well as the kids inventions and the Foundations powerplay on controlling the child.

Last edited on 01 Mar 2020 19:32 by Frygeist Show more

Re: Kid Scientist

Mr Illuim 01 Mar 2020 17:27

Sounds awesome!

Re: Kid Scientist

Frygeist 01 Mar 2020 19:32

Thank you!

Admin Post - Info - Closed

Zyn 09 Mar 2020 06:05

Locking this thread as another exists for the same concept in progress. Reviewers, please comment here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13123025/dad-look-i-m-a-real-scientist

As per the Ideas Critique forum required reading: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13095662/required-reading:how-to-use-this-forum-ideas Please do not create multiple threads for the same working concept. Using one thread helps keep spam down, and prevents flooding of the forums with repeat threads. Furthermore, it helps reviewers a lot if all corresponding feedback is kept in one place so they can follow the development of the idea and its details.