The Record Player

Waiting For Approval: The Record Player

Scrungle_Crungles 07 Feb 2020 13:54

What is it: SCP XXXX is an old brass gramophone dating back to 1892, while it looks very old and almost worn out, it works significantly better than expected and produces better sound quaility than most gramophones.

How was it found: During a spree of burglaries that took place in [REDACTED], France. during the 1940s - 3 unnamed burglars came into possession of SCP XXXX. They eventually turned themselves in along with the anomaly due to sudden feelings of extreme guilt and anxiety that started when they first attempted to play the pre-loaded disc (Marion Harris - Who's Sorry Now?). The Foundation took it off the police's hands.

+ show block

What does it do: When music of any kind is played on with SCP XXXX the listener will experience visual hallucinations based on the song and their life experiences. No two hallucinations are the same due to the differing lives different subjects have lead, however, there is usually a common theme between most hallucinations.

How is it contained: SCP XXXX is classed as safe due to being an inanimate object. Special Containment Procedures are simple, it is to be locked in a small, sound-proof room. Sound proofing is to be ensured by foam padding, thick walls, sound proof glass, and no gaps in the walls or in between the doors, etc. SCP XXX is to be thoroughly cleaned once every 6 months to ensure optimal listening conditions. Level 2 clearance required to research SCP XXXX.

Story: During the Foundation's initial inspection, they found a narrow compartment in the side of the Gramophone which contained a small collection of old records. On the top of the records was an old note written in 1903 from the inventor of the flat-disc Gramophone, Emile Berliner, to the woman he loved, Cora Adler, who was to be married very soon. The note explained that he missed her, to listen to all the records stored in the compartment, and to not follow through with her marriage. The woman received Emile's gifts and listened to the records, old songs that the two of them enjoyed together in their youth. She was said to have been so overcome with emotion while listening to the music that she left her fiancee at the altar for Emile, making sure to take the Gramophone with her.

The two were married 1 year later until and lived happily until Cora was hit by a car and died after 25 years of marriage. Emile subsequently spiraled into depression and committed suicide 2 months later. It was said that he would spend his days in his house listening to his wife's favourite records. The most worn out record in their collection was Marion Harris - It Had To Be You.

Intentions: I want the reader to think of what their hallucinations would look like when played certain music. I want the audience to feel a sense of attachment to Emile, to feel sorry for him when his wife passes away.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 08 Feb 2020 13:11 by Scrungle_Crungles Show more

Re: The Record Player

MalyceGraves 08 Feb 2020 00:43

Reviewed the original concept in #thecritters.

EDIT: The above concept has been significantly revised since first review. I have not modified my initial review, as it is unnecessary to do so.

On to it, then ->

This is the log from the room. I've edited out some of the extraneous stuff.

<Scrungles> ok, elevator pitch. so my SCP is an old gramophone that, depending on the song and the life experiences of the listener, will create personalized hallucinations

<aonly9470> hmm…. what sort of hallucinations?

<Scrungles> say its a love song and somebody currently has a crush, their hallucinations will be centered around falling in love with that person
<Scrungles> well, they would be extremely vivid, almost dream like, as if you were in a different world

<•MalyceGraves> Ok, where was this gramophone found?

<Scrungles> 3 burglars stole it from a house in the 1940's, however, they played some rather sad songs and started feeling depressed and anxious around it, so they turned it into the police, and the foundation then took it off the police

<Scrungles> As in, the burglars turned it in along with themselves

<•MalyceGraves> Ok. Why was the thing made in the first place?

<Scrungles> oh wow, thats a good question that I didn't think of. i suppose my idea was that it was a "malfunctioning" gramophone (it dated back to 1889) but it simply just an anomaly

<•MalyceGraves> So, you have the start of a decent narrative

<Scrungles> thats good to hear

<•MalyceGraves> The thing is that just a thing what does a thing isn't something that flies well these days.

<Scrungles> ahh, i was afraid i had written one of those

<•MalyceGraves> So you gotta give it some sort of narrative punch. It has to tell a story past just "hey, here is this cool thing"

<Scrungles> yeah, ill have to expand

<•MalyceGraves> I think you're somewhere in the middle. It's an interesting anomaly, you just need more with it. You could go forward or backwards in time. Discover a compartment with some yellowing sheets of paper in cracked and aging envelopes. Letters from the Maker to whoever they gave it to. Love letters? apologies? "Hey, I'm so proud of you, live your dreams" letters from an old grandpa to his starry-eyed grandson?

<Scrungles> my idea was to include a lot of test logs featuring a D-Class listening to different music, this D-Class had lived a particularly interesting life, and due to his hallucinations he would of changed as a person

<•MalyceGraves> Everyone goes down the test log route

<Scrungles> oooh, i like the compartment idea

<•MalyceGraves> It can be done well, I'm not saying that, it's just a well-trod path to relaying your story

<Scrungles> no, thats fair enough, i want to write a good story, not just one that "exists"

As I said, I think the idea has a good starting place. Develop more of the narrative and explore it a bit more, and you'll have a fine piece.

I like the variations that you have added here, and it is a much more complete narrative now.

Greenlight.

Last edited on 08 Feb 2020 22:37 by MalyceGraves Show more