Conprocs
Containment of SCP-XXXX instances is currently considered impossible.
I would remove "considered" as it makes the sentence a bit wordy. I would also not make this its own paragraph line, and actually move it to that second paragraph below. It's really awkward for that one sentence to be its own paragraph
As such, disinformation is to be spread globally as to the nature of SCP-XXXX.
"As such" in this context doesnt really transition well for this sentence. I would maybe remove it and add something like this, "A disinformation campaign has been established globally in order to protect SCP-XXXX's existence from the general population."
To be referred to as the "Blue-Ringed Octopus" for its conspicuous markings
This footnotes tense is really awkward also. I would reword it as, "Colloquially referred to as the "Blue-Ringed Octopus" due to its conspicuous markings along its body."
This effort (Disinformation Campaign-XXXX-ASPT) is to indicate that SCP-XXXX has always existed, and that contact is inadvisable because of a highly lethal tetrodotoxic bite.
Personal nitpick, I've never been a fan of parentheses within the Conprocs or description. I would either move that to a footnote or remove it entirely. Also, "and that contaxt is inadvisable […]" doesnt really explain how you're containing it. My personal recommendation might be something like, "All fabricated records of SCP-XXXX are to acknowledge it's existence and advise against interaction with the creature."
Any aquariums, pet-owners, or other persons reporting their captive instance of SCP-XXXX missing are to be immediately intercepted by MTF Gamma-5 and their aquarium populated with genetically-modified Abdopus aculeatens2 designed to mimic SCP-XXXX
"Any" isnt really clinical, and I also think the information on who captures "SCP-XXXX" is redundant. Would advise the following: "In the event that captive instances of SCP-XXXX are reported missing, MTF Gamma-5 are to intervene by substituting these missing instances with genetically-modified Abdopus aculeatens and administer Class-B amnestics to all civilians reporting similar phenomena."
SCP-XXXX-3 is a Safe, inert anomalous object, and is to be preserved in Site-██ in isopropyl.
This line is extremely random. What about the -1 or -2? In any case, you'll rarely have to define the subcategories of an SCP by Safe, Euclid, or Keter. Would change to, "SCP-XXXX-3 instances are inert anomalous objects preserved in Site-██ using isopropyl."
Description
this order, SCP-XXXX is visually and taxonomically distinct.
They may be distinct in these methods, but how? what about them are distinct? The color? Do they have extra body parts or extra organs? Leaving it at "visually and taxonomically distinct" doesnt really do justice to this.
While SCP-XXXX possesses the natural ability to blend in with its surroundings, SCP-XXXX also commonly displays distinctive blue ring patterns when approached by human subjects.
"While SCP-XXXX possesses the natural ability to camouflage within its surroundings, SCP-XXXX has a [insert number]% chance of displaying distinctive "blue-ringed patterns" when approached by human subjects."
In isolation, these patterns have a negligible memetic calming affect on human subjects.
So what happens when it's not isolated? Does it have an AoE? Or only when its surrounded and has no where else to go? I would specify and reword "negligible memetic calming affect" to something like, "minor memetic calming affect" because if it was "negligible" then there wouldnt be a need of including it.
"It would thus stand to reason that SCP-XXXX"
"Further research concludes that SCP-XXXX"
The reason for the apparent restriction of SCP-XXXX's teleportation to bodies of water is currently unknown.
"The restriction of SCP-XXXX's teleportation process to bodies of water remains unknown."
Individual instances rarely possess the strength necessary to subdue any but the tiniest of fish species
What defines "tiniest of fish species?" Would change to, "Individual instances rarely possess the ability to subdue fish species larger than [insert unit of measurement here],"
SCP-XXXX-1 has shown itself to be adept at swimming and is much better-adapted to predation.
"Research indicates that SCP-XXXX-1 is better adept at swimming and predation than its original SCP-XXXX instance."
has been recorded as successfully attacking
"As should be "to."
and is especially potent when displayed to fish
"Displayed" may not be the best word. Maybe "relayed" or you could even remove that and just say "and is especially potent on aquatic species." (I would also try removing quantifiers like "especially" and use an actual number like, "42% more potent.")
To humans, the effect is more limited, but subjects did report feelings of calm
"This effect has been observed to be less efficient on humans, however subjects still reported […]"
SCP-XXXX-1 has displayed a great degree of sentience.
"SCP-XXXX-1 displays higher levels of sentience than normal SCP-XXXX."
Interview Log XXXX-A1
Document has been wholly translated.
It should be inferred that the document has been translated. You can remove this. Also, having SCP-XXXX-1 speak in "Bold" but then having the individual actions also in bold" is really bothering. I think you should remove the boldness in the SCP-XXXX-1 dialogue (except for bolding the names) and relate action using just Italics.
(Aside)
Once again, I'm not a fan of parentheses. It's perfectly acceptable to use italics to display actions as well. "Aside."
Thank you. You may have as many as you like. Can I ask you some questions?
This doesnt sound right to me. First, having "Thank you" and then "have as many as you like" just display redundant information. Also, the researcher should have the authority, so asking for permission seems wrong. I'd remove maybe "Thank you" and say, "You may have as many as you'd like. I'm going to have to ask you some questions." (Or something similar, I'm not the best at dialogue)
Dr. Edmunds orders staff to dump a further 20 tuna into the enclosure
"Dr. Edmund's orders the addition of 20 tuna into the enclosure."
Dr. Edmunds: from whom?**
You have two random asterisks here
Dr. Edmunds orders staff to dump the remaining 20 tuna into the enclosure
"Dr. Edmund's orders for the remaining 20 tuna to be added into the enclosure."
SCP-XXXX-1: Long lungfishes don't have many fish. I come back when give many fish.
Your fish tasty
I see the effect you're trying to give, but I would just keep the text equal in length.
Approved. -Project-XXXX Director
Maybe you should move the Project Director below the "Approved?"
Interview Log XXXX-A2
SCP-XXXX-1 has once again been enticed into containment, this time with 85 tuna and six specimens of Blacktip reef shark. Dr. Edmunds confirms that the entity is the same spoken to in Log-> XXXX-A1-02/05/200█ through the translator and begins the interview.
Not a fan of this line. Would reword as, "SCP-XXXX-1 has been enticed into containment with the use of 85 tuna and six specimens of Blacktip reef shark. Dr. Edmund confirms that the entity is the same spoken with in Log-XXXX-A1." (I would also like to mention that you're spacing is wrong at the top of these interviews. You can remedy that by using "> ~~~~~" between lines.
Addendum 1
SCP-XXXX-2 does indeed refer to binary code, but is augmented by .
"Does indeed" isnt really clinical. Would change to, "SCP-XXXX-2 has been discovered to relate to traditional binary code, however it is also augmented with █████ code."
When deciphered, it is roughly analogous to a well-known non-anomalous astrophysical formula, the Friedman equation;
This is really wordy for the thing you're trying to relate. A simple, "When deciphered, it is roughly analogous to the astrophysical formula publically known as the Friedman equation." (Also your semi-colon should probably be a period.)
additional information that appears to be the solution to the so-called
I think having "the solution" may be a bit more certain than you want to make it. Maybe, "a probable solution" might be a bit better to work with (at this point you're talking about things I have little understanding of)
Following this revelation, Foundation physicists have proposed a new hypothesis regarding SCP-XXXX
"Foundation physicists have proposed a new hypothesis regarding SCP-XXXX using the additional information provided by SCP-XXXX-2."
for some unknown reason
Maybe replace "some" for "an."
This would explain the effect on local DPK levels as well as the teleportation.
"The teleportation" isnt really correct clinically. Maybe. "As well as it's current method of teleportation."
Interview Log XXXX-A3
has been enticed via the use of ten blacktip reef sharks and roughly 150 tuna.
Try to not use "via" in an SCP article. Maybe substitute that using "with"
// The ██████ is activated, pushing DPK levels to full-phase in the aquarium. SCP-XXXX-1 pulses blue. All surveillance is subsequently lost.//
Your italics are off, you should remove the extra space on the first "// "
See Event Log-A3-04/05/200█ for a full transcript of aftermath.
You should move this to a footnote, and not it's own line as it displays a redundant information. "See Event Log XXXX-A3 for more information."
Event Log XXXX-A3
Immediately following Interview A3
"Immediately following Interview Log XXXX-A3
a mass of anomalous biological material measuring approximately 260 meters in diameter spontaneously manifested in the interior of Site-██, destroying approximately 40% of the facility, compromising its security, and leading to the containment breach of ██ other anomalies.
This is a big sentence. You should break this apart into two sentences, or once again, use a footnote, "A mass of anomalous biological material measuring approximately 260 meters in diameter spontaneously manifested within the interior of Site-██.[[footnote]]This manifestation destroyed 40% of the facility, as well as comprised its security which allowed the containment breach of ██ other anomalies[[/footnote.]]
In the manifestation and ensuing chaos ██ Foundation casualties were recorded,
"Following the manifestation, ██ Foundation casualties were recorded along with 22 other civilian casualties."
Despite this its presence caused a great deal of destruction, as it manifested within the matter of the facility itself, causing massive structural failure
"Great deal of destruction" is not clinical. I would reword this entirely (it should be assumed that the expansion of matter caused the destruction, so try to detail this as little as possible.)
SCP-XXXX-3 resembles a severed tentacle composed of millions of individual inert SCP-XXXX instances. Its mass is in excess of 25,000 tons. Analysis of XXXX-3's biochemistry reveals high levels of aluminum and aluminum amalgam.
You should put this on a new paragraph line, as well as include, "Following Incident XXXX-A3, SCP-XXXX-3 was observed to resemble […]"
Its mass is in excess of 25,000 tons.
Tons is not metric measurement. "Kilograms" would be better.
has been tapped as a replacement.
"Tapped" doesnt really make sense. "chosen" may suffice better.
The glyph recorded in interview A3 is a simple graph of the atomic structure of mercury.
I would either move this somewhere up in the interview itself (maybe under a footnote) or remove it entirely. It detracts from the narrative.
