The Doctor that should be gone. [Requesting Greenlight]

Summary:

something went wrong in the foundation

The Doctor that should be gone. [Requesting Greenlight]

Rho-9 Agent H 19 Jan 2020 22:40

A Medical Doctor who should be gone from this realm, but something went wrong in the foundation.

I trimmed your thread summary above, since it was taking up a lot of space on the forum listing. Try to keep thread descriptions and titles under 7 lines so you don't visually crowd out other people's threads. ~Zyn - Thanks Zyn.

This is attempt two on an SCP deemed too lolFoundation first time around:

In Site-19, deep within the medical quarters, is a Doctor that has been deemed an SCP due to an increase if anomalous activity from him. The way that this has occurred is unknown (I'm using this as a possible tale) and he has been forced out of his job as a medical assistant. He has taken multiple attempts at taking his life, yet has failed. He trusts, and is trusted, by most Site-19 personnel.

I might do more details on this, as well as a name for it. - as said before

I have a draft planned, I will publish it if needed. - as said before

As a side note: I apologise about the thread bumping of my previous request. I have re-read the thread guidelines multiple times.

Addendum 1:

In site 19, deep within the humanoid containment sector, is an ex-Doctor of the foundation. Due to an incident of "unknown" origin, he has been forced into a new life as an anomaly, causing himself to retire from his position of a medical assistant, fearing he may harm people rather than help them. He has since become mentally unstable and suicidal, despite constantly refusing to attend mental health meetings that are offered to him. After persuasion to join one meeting, he has revealed that he feels immense guilt for the death of a researcher that occurred on his watch. He has attempted to take his life because of this, but because of his anomalous capabilities, all attempts have failed, putting him on suicide watch. He was once a major figure of Site-19, but has since fallen deep into the bloodstained history books of the foundation. Due to loyalty and obedience, as well as a lack of known dangerous abilities, he has been classified as "safe".

Requests on hold until further notice.

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It is time to leave the darkness, regardless of what the higher-ups say about retirement. We must not be left out of the light, for what might we become in our isolation?

Last edited on 23 Jan 2020 19:53 by Rho-9 Agent H Show more

Re: The Doctor that should be gone. [Requesting Greenlight]

Zyn 20 Jan 2020 20:47

Taking a quick look at this since it fell to page 4 with no replies.

In Site-19, deep within the medical quarters, is a Doctor that has been deemed an SCP due to an increase if anomalous activity from him.

What sort of anomalous activity? Also, why is the guy in the medical quarters if he's anomalous? Shouldn't he be in humanoid containment?

+ show block

The way that this has occurred is unknown (I'm using this as a possible tale) and he has been forced out of his job as a medical assistant.

Well… given that I don't know how severe the anomaly is, this seems pretty reasonable? (Or potentially unreasonable, if the anomaly isn't that problematic?)

He has taken multiple attempts at taking his life, yet has failed.

This just makes the Foundation look extremely incompetent. How bad is the anomaly? Also, surely someone would have briefed the guy on what to expect if something like this happened? Why is he suddenly suicidal? Has no one bothered keeping an eye on him/suicide watch if the guy has attempted suicide multiple times? This bit might actually come off as kind of tactless if used as a plot point/emotional investment forcer, since there are plenty of readers on the site who have lost loved ones to suicide.

He trusts, and is trusted, by most Site-19 personnel.

Site-19 is huge. The large majority of the site shouldn't even know who this person is.

Sorry, but I don't really see this doing well as an SCP since you don't even describe the anomaly. It might be workable as a tale if you describe the anomaly more (so it's clear why this guy is affected so badly) and portray the Foundation as competent (they have psychologists and grief counselors and plenty of specialist personnel who can help employees with this sort of situation). As this is currently presented, it seems incomplete and unrealistic.

Last edited on 20 Jan 2020 21:40 by Zyn Show more

Re: Responce of feedback.

Rho-9 Agent H 20 Jan 2020 22:04

Thank you Zyn. I will make the amendments and try to give more details on the SCP. I'll keep these changes separate for future reference.

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It is time to leave the darkness, regardless of what the higher-ups say about retirement. We must not be left out of the light, for what might we become in our isolation?

Re: Responce of feedback.

Zyn 21 Jan 2020 04:21

Sounds good; feel free to message me or another Butterfly Squad Roster reviewer for the next critique of a revised version.

Re: The Doctor that should be gone. [Requesting Greenlight]

Leveritas 23 Jan 2020 19:12

Summoned by PM:

The fact that he doesn't want treatment and that everything so far is inflicting misery on this character is giving me the impression that it's going to be a Sympathetic Sue. A character isn't interesting by just making their life as horrible as possible.

Humanoids are actually among the most difficult types of articles to write successfully; if you're really set on writing one, then first take a look at the humanoid writing guide if you haven't yet.

A challenge on top of this is making this an SCP at all. Part of the challenge of an SCP is that while out of universe you're writing a story for your readers, in-universe you're writing for the researcher tapping their foot while skimming the description to see whether this will explode if they move it to a storage locker next to SCP-9876.

I personally recommend trying something else first. Writing a good humanoid is very hard, especially like this.