SCP by Series
SCP Tales by Series
SCP Library
Discover Content
SCP Community
User Resources
Hello, this is my first real SCP idea, so I'm looking for a greenlight but I'm also expecting a lot of criticism. The sandbox is very much a WiP so it's not currently ready for review if you're interested.
The premise is thus: a large Victorian-era mirror in a cave which causes those who see it immediately begin dreaming vividly in a world of their greatest desire. While the subject is dreaming, their body becomes a thrall to the SCiP and doesn't respond to pain.The subject retains no memories of what happened to their body while they were unconscious but the SCiP is able to access the memories of the subjects and retain them across instances. If the subject is removed from the vicinity of the mirror, the effects stop. The SCiP also possesses an ability to manifest this control over organisms that haven't seen it if they remain nearby for an extended period of time, although instances of this are rare.
The main value in the story is addressing the ethical dilemma regarding whether life is better in reality or in the fantasy dream world.
This is primarily shown through the subject exposed to the mirror for the longest time, for whom removing it from the mirror's field of effect didn't cause it to return to normal. Over the course of its containment, it has shown numerous different personalities, all of whom are adamant that they be allowed to spread their effects to the entire world but they differ in their approach to the subject within interviews.
Through numerous interviews we learn that the of contact for a group of mirror is a point of contact entities from a different reality who believe they are collectively bringing salvation to the multiverse.
Obviously, the Foundation stop this from happening but there is a little self-doubt in some personnel, those who are experienced reflect on the horrors they have witnessed and that they could live a life free from them.
This is expanded by the subjects who were "saved from the anomaly" being taken away from the eternal ecstasy and being deported to prevent further contact with the anomaly and taken away from their home, family, occupation etc.
One of them commits suicide after he fails to integrate into his new life, and faces racial prejudice.
His suicide note elaborates on how he hopes God will send him back to the "Heaven" he experienced.
To anyone that reads this, I realise this is quite a hefty concept that tackles some difficult issues and I appreciate your help greatly
[placeholder, will crit within 24-48 hours]
My biggest issue is that this really just sounds like an SCP-ified version of The Mirror of Erised from Harry Potter. Do they have to see their own reflection, or just the mirror itself? Why a mirror, if it seems that what it shows people is not in the reflection, but in their own mind?
One of them commits suicide after he fails to integrate into his new life, and faces racial prejudice. His suicide note elaborates on how he hopes God will send him back to the "Heaven" he experienced.
This is such a huge turn from the rest of the concept. Suicide is a touchy topic, even here, and needs to be handled delicately, and the racial prejudice falls into the same category.
Overall, the theme of "the grass is greener" and "a comforting lie over an uncomfortable truth" are pretty well-trod (in general, not sure about on the wiki), and this doesn't do a whole lot with the concept that feels new or interesting. There are some potential story threads, but there's no real hook; nothing that gets me invested in the anomaly. Just your generic "your greatest wish but at a cost" tale.
Many SCPs take common tales of caution like this and do something new or otherwise subvert them - what do you plan to do to differentiate your story from the many others like it?
Yikes, I didn't realise how awful that was.
do something new or otherwise subvert them
It being a mirror is completely arbitrary and perhaps counter-productive. Possibly, I could replace the mirror with an anomalous and shifting tunnel system. Anyone who enters finds themselves in a dream-like world that shapes itself not their deepest desires, but to much more trivial/current wants which would make it a lot more volatile and dangerous as it is something they can utilise intentionally. Shortly after entry, a physically and anomalously identical figure leaves and claims the tunnels are non-anomalous and a dead-end but is under the control of the SCiP. This would pose a much more significant challenge in rescuing civilians and securing. I'm aware that hard to contain is not equivalent to interesting but I think as it would require unusual procedures rather than simply extreme ones it might secure the interest of some readers who want to know what all the fuss is about? I'm not sure if something similar already exists.
This is such a huge turn from the rest of the concept.
Yeah. This should have been obvious to me while I was writing. You're completely right. However, I don't think it's an unsolvable problem. If I make the initial recovery effort very grim -perhaps one of the subjects is a sadist and his world exemplifies this- and the aftermath leaves an effect on the personnel that is extremely evident throughout various interview logs and addenda, the shift won't be so sudden as to be dissonant with the rest of the article but instead a natural escalation to a climax. Maybe they sent in a dangerous MTF the copies of whom caused a bloody disaster. What if an unknown human emerges from the tunnels and the guards are ordered to open with preemptive fire on potentially harmless, non-violent people. Any number of things I could add throughout the course of the article (which I intend to be a very long one despite how unwise that may be) to make this less jarring. I will probably add to this list of awful things while I am working on the draft.
Suicide is a touchy topic, even here, and needs to be handled delicately, and the racial prejudice falls into the same category.
I am conscious of how delicately I need to tread around such a topic and how easy it is to piss people off by saying something very inaccurate and insensitive. I know that because I am one of those people. Due to my personal experience, I think I can handle writing about suicide. However, I have absolutely no basis to write about racism nor is it a necessary inclusion and I *deeply* regret doing so.
This are some quite difficult problems for me as a new author to deal with, and I fear my response is insufficient. Regardless, I am very grateful for your insightful comment and the help you have provided. I'm sorry I was unable to give a response sooner and I look forward to hearing from you again sometime soon. :D
You've now added a completely new ability to this thing, which is to make copies of people, which doesn't really seem to have anything to do with the whole "world of your greatest desires" thing. And you're right, it could be anything. So why tunnels? The change in what it is also still doesn't really subvert the "greatest desire but at a cost" trope, either; it just avoids the cliche of a mirror.
Any number of things I could add throughout the course of the article (which I intend to be a very long one despite how unwise that may be) to make this less jarring. I will probably add to this list of awful things while I am working on the draft.
Wanting to make the rest of the article more violent to justify a bit of violence seems a bit counter-productive to me. Lots of the older series SCPs were really violent and I feel like people are less and less interested in SCPs that make people die. It's honestly the least interesting thing an SCP can do. What if it's like a drug; people become addicted to it but it becomes less effective the more they use it?
Okay.
The tunnels creating clones is , once again, kinda pointless and unnecessary as it only serves to create violence and superficial tension which, as you said, is overused and uninteresting. The tunnels existence is really just an extra bit added on that has no real value. This doesn't really subvert anything is it's pretty much unrelated.
How could I subvert the trope? Well, the trope is, essentially, that you get whatever you really want with a certain drawback . I like your idea that it's initially very intense but as you become more reliant on it it gradually weakens. How about this: those who go into the tunnels come out having been transported to an area that is geographically similar to that of the surrounding area. If people re-enter the tunnels, they can return to normal reality. To begin with they have abilities to distort the world around them although to a much lesser extent and this gets progressively weaker as they use their powers more. Naturally, they become addicted to the adrenaline their power gives them which leads them to use it more and more. Thus they become trapped in the cycle. However, I recall you saying that there are topics that are sensitive and need to be written delicately. Although drug addiction is slightly different, I would certainly need assistance in trying to portray the reality of an addict's experience.
There is no malicious entity here, no compulsion, no shock violence. Just humans ultimately making their lives miserable by their incapability to control themselves and moderate their life when given the opportunity. In this sense, their desire IS the drawback.
It's possible I have again overlooked something and you'll leave another comment criticising me for my lack of subversion but I hope that's not the case. :)
Thank you again for your help, hopefully this is an improvement. :D
Yo!
So reading over the concept and discourse that followed, I've got a few thoughts:
Well, the trope is, essentially, that you get whatever you really want with a certain drawback .
Trying reading "The Monkey's Paw" by W. W. Jacobs to understand this trope a little better, if you haven't already. This is an excellent example of the "you can't get something for nothing," and the, "you get what you pay for" vibes I feel like you're trying to lay out for this skip.
How could I subvert the trope?
The reason I answered these questions backwards is fairly simple: Your answer to subverting the trope is, in fact, what the trope already is.
I would check out Clefs guide on How to Be Scary Without Saying Anything. While this isn't necessarily a skip that "doesn't require" explanation, there's an excerpt from that particular article I think pertains to this skip in a different way, which brings me to my next point:
Who, What, When, Where, Why, How
Who, if anyone, created this SCP? Is it meant for a certain function? Is it some cosmic machine made by trans-dimensional space-faeries?
What, if anything, is it's purpose? Is it specifically designed to drive people mad? Was it originally intended for medicinal/psychological self care? If so, what went wrong?
When was this device/anomaly created?
Why was it created in the first place? Random, infinite, expanding universe? Or is it a construct?
Where is it located? If it was made by trans-dimensional space-faeries, is it mobile? Containable?
Most importantly, HOW DOES IT WORK? Is it magic? Quantum Particle manipulation? Trans-dimensional space-faerie dust?
The reasons these questions are important to answer for you, as the author, is that even if we, the readers, never see the information, you need to have the answers to effectively write (and subsequently, redact) information regarding the anomaly.
I hope this helps!
Well, this was interesting.
I skimmed the story. Hmm. You seem to have read this very differently to me. As I see it, the parents get their first wish but at a great cost because the monkey doesn't act as they expect (they are warned but they completely ignore this). The conflict of interest between the two parents then stops either of their other wishes from having a happy outcome.
My idea: You initially get a wonderful experience. No cost, no drawbacks, no surprises. The eventual downfall and misery is not due to some unexpected bullshit due to the anomaly being evil or due to some disagreement about how to use it but due to humans having an inherent and independent failure of their own. It's not saying you can't get something for nothing, it's saying you can't have everything and that that's okay. However, lots of people fictional and real get things for nothing and that concept only works to tell people not to take lazy shortcuts because it doesn't work out for them.
These are two distinct ideas my friend.
the, "you get what you pay for" vibes
What does this even mean??
check out Clefs guide on How to Be Scary Without Saying Anything.
This article literally says right at the beginning that
If you are a beginning SCP writer, do not read this article.
I this is something I'm not even close to ready for. I lack the experience and the knowledge to apply this in a way that would be effective. It's good advice without a doubt but not what I need to focus on as I have more significant and glaring issues. I haven't finalised my idea, let alone began editing a completed draft.
I've thought about all 5 of those, excluding How because I think that explaining the magic is just inherently bad in almost every circumstance as it adds absolutely nothing to my understanding of the SCiP or the reader's experience- it doesn't matter if it's pseudoscience, fairy magic or satanic forces because explaining the story doesn't change the story, and I have sufficient answers to them.
I apologise if this was a tad rude as I am very tired right now and haven't been sleeping much. I appreciate your effort, although your comments are lost on me. Cheers.
