Seeking critique on my first SCP

Summary:

A memetic "celebrity" whose songs endangered its ever-growing "fanbase," with an ambitious twist.

Seeking critique on my first SCP

Randomizing 16 Jan 2020 23:13

To summarize my idea:

My SCP is a memetic virus that enters hosts through the information it affects and edits. Information accessed from electronics like TVs and radio allows the meme to enter a mind quickly, but other mediums like speech requires longer exposure to spread. The meme is generally harmless, except when it tries to force information onto the minds it affects. Because human minds are incompatible with the meme's existence, the meme has the potential to cause rapid neural decay on its host mind.

However, this SCP isn't a cold-hearted killer. This SCP wants to become a human "celebrity," motivated by a desire to find meaning in its existence. In 1975, it slowly starts affecting media in a small American town, garnering a "fanbase." It convinces its infected hosts to obsess over him, and gather towards a spot for a concert that never happened.

+ show block

However, when the SCP "sings" for his "fans," the hosts face neurological trauma due to memetic stress. This doesn't deter the SCP, so he keeps spreading onto mediums like radio and TV and "singing" for his fans. His influence grows larger.

---

I did say there was a twist, which is the main thing I want to get critiqued on. I'm not sure if this is too "out there", but then again with SCP, anything can happen.

The SCP foundation steps in when they find out about the growing number of brain damage cases across the US. They identify it as a memetic entity, but for some reason, no anti-meme or amnestic works against it. Cutting off TV and radio stations only seems to delay the inevitable: this SCP will render the world braindead by the 23rd century. The Foundation, desperate to save lives and prevent a Broken Masquerade scenario, reaches out to make a deal with the SCP.

The deal? The SCP stops singing for 100 years so the Foundation's given time to research. In return, the Foundation has to build a platform that quickens the SCP's spread, essentially becoming its "marketing team." To appease its demands, the Foundation builds a digital, information-sharing platform that has the potential to connect billions to the SCP's memetic influence. That platform is TCP/IP, a communications model for the modern-day internet.

Now, the SCP's "gone viral," almost everyone in the world is affected by it. Progress on containing it is stagnant, no one but the O5 that made the deal knows the Internet's true origins, and a star has been born.

---

I've been stalling on writing an SCP for a while, mainly due to a lack of ideas. But I'm hoping I can start here. A draft for this would have interview and news report transcripts with the SCP, though I'm tempted to format break and write it as the SCP's "autobiography." This SCP is very fifthist-inspired, if you couldn't tell.

To anyone who's read all that text above, thanks for taking the time to hear and critique my idea!

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 17 Jan 2020 04:29 by Zyn Show more

Re: Seeking critique on my first SCP

Doctor Fullham 17 Jan 2020 05:21

[placeholder, will crit within 24 hours]

Firstly, I am not super familiar with memetic effects, but I don't know that this qualifies. I think it's either an infohazard or a cognitohazard. I recommend reading the Understanding Memetics guide for more clarification on this.

Overall, well, I like the idea. It's an interesting take on media and the difficulty of containing something that spreads itself through something that's such a common household thing. However, once you get to the internet bit is when I start taking issues. I don't have an issue with the Foundation being involved in the creation of it, but it just seems…I don't know. It's hard to express. It's like, this thing is way too powerful. Why strike a deal at all? It seems like the Foundation has no real way to contain or threaten it at all. Why is it willing to wait 100 years? It doesn't need their help. And the fact that just "oh this is some meme that we have zero answer for" feels a bit convenient. It's just a timer on the human race's existence which is, I guess I'd call it manufactured tension?

You have interesting ideas, for sure, but it's just missing something for me. There's nothing that really gets me emotionally invested and "the entire human race will die" is so high-stakes that it really stretches my suspension of disbelief. Yes, I know this is a universe with living statues and god and aliens and space jellyfish and sentient computers, but this is…again, it's hard to explain what precisely about it that makes me dislike it. I guess, to put it plainly: too high stakes, no emotional investment, no explicable reason it'd strike a deal with the Foundation.

Last edited on 18 Jan 2020 03:40 by Doctor Fullham Show more

Re: Seeking critique on my first SCP

Randomizing 18 Jan 2020 06:03

Thanks so much for responding! I do agree that the twist feels forced, and you put it in a very clear way. But I still want to see if I can use it if I develop it more or alter its stakes.

+ But first, a clarification

I'd like to clarify why this deal was made, which I think wasn't addressed clearly in my short summary. The Foundation still feels as if it can contain the SCP, just with more research and time (as it turns out, they were wrong). However, as the spread of the SCP grows, and affected televisions grow more widespread, more unpreventable deaths are still occurring. The Foundation not only wants to minimize those short-term deaths, but it also wants to avoid a Broken Masquerade scenario that would surely come from a bunch of anomalous deaths. That's why they've been backed in a corner to stall the SCP with a 100-year period, they want to save lives and protect normalcy.

The SCP, on the other hand, also has a reason to make the deal. In its current state, the SCP can surely infect the whole world, but it's estimated that it can only do so slowly (I said by the 23rd century). This is because of what I mentioned, this SCP transfers slowly through non-electronic media, making it hard for the SCP to infect rural or non-industrialized regions of the world (I should also mention the more "digital" a medium is, the faster it spreads, hence the internet would spread it much faster than TV). For this aspiring "celebrity," accomplishing fame fast is a top priority. This SCP believes negotiating with this powerful organization can get him to stardom faster, without the hassle.

If the deal still feels too far-fetched, then I might just scrap it from here. But I don't think this is the primary issue with the twist.

Could the issue of stakes be solved if, say, the neurological impact of the SCP was altered from neural decay to neurological compulsion? Instead of the world dying, humanity would lose its sense of rationality by being so obsessed with the SCP's nonsensical songs. It would be more fitting of the SCP's "celebrity" construct I guess, and I can even take a stab at social commentary and how technology affects the mind.

Or maybe if the scope was smaller? I could make it so it only spreads through electronic information, thus primitive areas of the world will remain unaffected, giving the Foundation a last resort in case everything goes completely wrong.

I really don't want to play with the SCP's invulnerability, since it would ruin the danger. However, I could change the ending by saying that the SCP has been mostly eradicated by the internet, aside from a few dark-web sites that the Foundation can't find. It still slowly edits information across the surface web that stimulates curiosity for the "celebrity" (building a new fanbase), infecting more viewers that dig into the dark web. In making the internet, the Foundation has accidentally made the SCP uncontainable.

For this SCP, I based the high-stakes approach off of SCP-3002, who threatened the entire world's consciousness with an MK-class scenario. SCP-3002 was too powerful to resist anti-memes, becoming virtually invincible, yet I didn't find that approach to be artificial but rather just an ability of the SCP. I know it's hard to define what makes risk feel forced, but I guess I'm just scrambling for ideas, how do I emulate stakes like that of other K-class scenario SCPs without sounding contrived?

Re: Seeking critique on my first SCP

Doctor Fullham 19 Jan 2020 03:03

I think the compulsion thing makes a lot more sense, narratively. Be careful with the "how technology affects the mind" part so as not to come off as "ooooh technology scary!" I do kinda like the angle of "we just need time in order to contain this thing" leading to "wait no shit we're gonna lose". I wonder if maybe you could have it abe like, an antibiotic situation, and some of the anti-memes work at first, but it sort of finds ways around them?

I think limiting the scope really helps, honestly. Digital media only makes this a lot easier to swallow. As far as quasi-containing it, maybe make that a way to sort of use the short-lived quality of a lot of internet fame? And maybe instead of spreading more and more quickly, it's able to start almost a cult of extremely dedicated fans? There are definitely some interesting avenues to explore there.

I also still have an issue with the time thing. 1975 was the late 20th century, almost the 21st. Why is it willing to wait 100 years when it's going to take it barely over 200 for it to conquer the world anyway?

I know it's hard to define what makes risk feel forced, but I guess I'm just scrambling for ideas, how do I emulate stakes like that of other K-class scenario SCPs without sounding contrived?

To be honest, I don't have a real answer for this. I guess I've always personally found the SCPs with world-ending implications to be some of the least interesting, but that's definitely a personal preference.

Re: Seeking critique on my first SCP

Randomizing 20 Jan 2020 04:02

Okay, these are some really good tips, and I definitely see some I can implement. Some that I'll definitely implement are:

• Making the SCP seem less outrageously powerful. I can limit the meme's scope by saying that the meme can only transfer through technology, like the information across radio and the internet.
• Making the SCP adaptable, not invincible. I can show a progression of the Foundation "containing" the meme with anti-memetic agents, but the meme resisting by changing how it spreads through information. It also makes sense narratively, celebrities have to follow "trends" to survive.
• Changing the time to make the deal more plausible. I could shorten the Foundation's end of the deal to 50 years, or extend the SCP's takeover time to 300 years. I feel like the former works better.
• Changing the SCP's effects to compulsion, not death. Would work better narratively, wouldn't result in a total "world-end" scenario, but would still pose a massive danger to normalcy. I like the cult-like behavior idea, it makes sense that a group of fans would want to spread the word of their idol so other people would be more likely to, say, tune into their songs on the radio.

As far as quasi-containing it, maybe make that a way to sort of use the short-lived quality of a lot of internet fame? And maybe instead of spreading more and more quickly, it's able to start almost a cult of extremely dedicated fans?

I'm a bit confused as to what you mean by quasi-containment. Are you saying that the SCP should struggle from getting a large fanbase? I think that connection to internet fame is pretty interesting, but I feel like that severs the impact by so much that it reduces the SCP to just its cult following.

Re: Seeking critique on my first SCP

Doctor Fullham 21 Jan 2020 01:43

The "quasi-containment" comment was in reference to this:

However, I could change the ending by saying that the SCP has been mostly eradicated by the internet, aside from a few dark-web sites that the Foundation can't find. It still slowly edits information across the surface web that stimulates curiosity for the "celebrity" (building a new fanbase), infecting more viewers that dig into the dark web.

Overall, it seems like you have a really cool idea here and an interesting story to tell. You get a Greenlight from me.

Re: Seeking critique on my first SCP

Randomizing 24 Jan 2020 17:23

Thank you so much for all your help, it was really great getting a professional opinion on all of this, so I appreciate you taking the time to go into all of these details.

And bigger thanks for the greenlight! I'm glad you like the overall idea of it. How does one go about getting the second one though, now that the thread's gone dry? Can I put my revised idea onto the ideas thread with all of the tips implemented, or is that not allowed? Sorry, I'm not too familiar with this type of greenlight system.