How did I get all this blood on my hands?

Summary:

An SCP which causes Foundation personnel's hands to be covered in blood.

Caught Red-Handed

barredowl 16 Jan 2020 16:01

The idea for this SCP is about a random phenomenon occurring in Foundation facilities within the Midwestern United States which causes various Foundation personnel to have their hands suddenly and rapidly coated in blood. After leaving the blood out to dry for a long set of hours (10-15ish), it will reveal a short, accusatory message (something like "These creatures used to be people, just like you"). The anomaly also appears to happen at a higher frequency for personnel who have to get their hands dirty in the Foundation (physical violence, containment of hostile entities, etc.)

+ show additional information

In the beginning of the anomaly's discovery, when the SCP is very poorly understood, the SCP's messages are accidentally found when an MTF member afflicted by the anomaly discovers it accidentally while wearing gloves. Since the messages produced by the SCP seem to hit a little too close to home for the Foundation, but are often inaccurate to the victim at hand (for instance, at one time, a researcher is accused of violence when they only work with non-sentient anomalies), the Foundation discredits the SCP's message, continuing to report instances of the anomaly.

Then, while hiding from an impending containment breach, the distress of a recently affected researcher unbriefed on the SCP causes a significant amount of casualties. With this, the Foundation has to reckon with the fact that, in an attempt to dissuade their personnel from feeling guilt about their line of work, they had disregarded much of the potential impact the SCP could actually have.

+ where i'm trying to go with this

I want to make this SCP about how the Foundation reacts when confronted about the reality of their abusive system. On one hand, I want to make this about the personnel themselves. For example, recently employed junior researchers react to the anomaly with guilt, trying to reconcile their position in the system, while veteran Foundation personnel may react with bemusement, instead reasoning that they are just one small part in a large, uncaring system.

On the other hand, I want to make it about how the Foundation deals with the anomaly itself. When the messages, often extremely critical of many processes which have become commonplace to the Foundation reveal themselves, they feel it is in their prerogative to debase the anomaly's claims, as they feel it is causing unnecessary confusion. So, in an attempt to discredit the SCP, much effort is given to displaying its many faults. If you can discredit the messages, then, you may also be able to discredit the guilt many feel while working for the Foundation.

All and all, I want to address both how Foundation personnel interact with the looming presence of the system they operate in and about the Foundation attempting to preserve the status quo and horrifically failing.

Does this idea have potential? Is there anything I could add to this SCP to make it more effective? Could it lead to something interesting?

---

svaria

Last edited on 19 Jan 2020 22:37 by barredowl Show more

Re: How did I get all this blood on my hands?

Doctor Fullham 17 Jan 2020 00:28

[placeholder, will crit within 24 hours]

I feel like this starts off really heavy-handed serious, but then the almost comical swerve at the end feels really jarring. I also don't really see a good defined range for this thing's area of effect. Also, why only Foundation personnel? Most people feel guilty about something. Did a previously contained anomaly or other entity hostile to the Foundation create this?

I enjoy SCPs that shed light on how The Foundation does indeed have quite a bit of blood on their hands (I'm writing one now about the borderline torturous treatment of humanoid SCPs) but I don't know that taking it literally works that well as a base concept. It's also kinda weirdly convenient that they don't discover that some of them are way off base until later, like, does it just have a good guess rate? Who goes 10-15 hours without cleaning blood off their hands, anyway?

There's a lot of holes here and I think they're mostly caused by parts of the underlying concept. It's not unsalvageable but it's gonna need some reworking, I think.

Last edited on 17 Jan 2020 06:16 by Doctor Fullham Show more

Re: How did I get all this blood on my hands?

barredowl 17 Jan 2020 13:52

Yeah, I can see how the concept might become tonally inconsistent. I was kind of intending the multiple messages given by the anomaly to resemble amateur criticisms I hear a lot of new SCP fans offer on the scene (i.e. Why not just put a bag over 096's head?, stuff like that).
I wasn't really intending the blood on personnel's hands to be a result of their own guilt, but of the accusations of another (I was thinking of adding an incident where a guy who only works on biological anomalies receives a message chastising them for violence). This is why only Foundation personnel would receive this SCP's effects. However, given the already deep-seeded connotation of blood on your hands being a stand-in for guilt, I can see the problems with that.

As for them just happening to find out the message, I was aiming to have somebody like an MTF member or somebody else who wears heavy gloves during an operation accidentally finding out the message. Maybe during a probing of some anomalous site. If having gloves on for 10-15 hours seems a tiny bit too convenient, I would be happy to adjust how many hours it takes for the message to reveal itself. Perhaps 8-10 hours would be a bit more realistic.

I could also limit the range of the anomaly or broaden it if the Midwestern US is a little too vague or too specific. Perhaps I could make it unique to just one site?

Thank you for the criticism!

---

svaria

Last edited on 18 Jan 2020 19:31 by barredowl Show more

Re: How did I get all this blood on my hands?

cybersqyd 19 Jan 2020 07:48

[Noting a PM request to take a look]

Hm. I'm really not sure I like this as a concept? It feels like the humour is too…meta? self-referential? I'm really not sure that highlighting a lot of amateur criticisms of scp containment is funny as opposed to mean and the kind of thing which discourages discussions that really get people invested in the SCP universe?

It really feels like a much more serious, thoughtful angle would be a lot more fun here; where you're really getting into like, the emotional effect working in the Foundation has on it's employees even if they think they're doing the right thing.

I'm expecting the SCP to be rather addendum-heavy. I think this anomaly could pave the way for an interesting log of recorded instances for the SCP, or maybe some reports following important events within the SCP's chronology.

So this to me reads like you're intending to write something long: what are you wanting to do with that? The thing with writing a long thing is that you really need to have a real good story or emotional arc to keep people onboard for the whole thing; and at the moment it really feels like it may not be comedic enough to carry it? That said: if you have good ideas here, my opinion could be changed pretty easily?

Last edited on 19 Jan 2020 08:46 by cybersqyd Show more

Re: How did I get all this blood on my hands?

barredowl 19 Jan 2020 16:04

Yeah, on second thought, I do think that trying to satirize amateur criticisms by new SCP fans would be somewhat mean-spirited. I definitely think there could be a lot more ways I could spin the SCP in a way which could be far more interesting, and I would definitely be open to exploring a new angle in that regard.

I could make the SCP about how Foundation personnel deal when confronted with the fact that they operate in an often-abusive system. It could be about how various individuals react when confronted with the anomaly: while newly employed junior researchers may feel shame for their part in the system, veteran Foundation personnel may reason that they are but one cog in an endless, immobile machine. I do believe there could be some humor derived from how callously these veterans act when confronted with the atrocious things their line of work probes them to do.

+ emotional arc

In terms of an emotional arc? In addition to addressing the fear that comes from realizing one's individual role in a system, I do believe it would be interesting to address how the Foundation deals with the anomaly itself. What I was having in mind was for the Foundation to try to discredit the SCP's messages. After all, it would definitely be in the Foundation's prerogative to implicitly denounce the claims being made by the SCP as wildly off-base and untrue.

Maybe the reported instances log could show this - copious amounts of records showing just how dubious and unfounded the SCP's messages are, as showing anything else could lend credence to speculation that the anomaly might occasionally be right. This doesn't mean that the Foundation is lying per se, but that they are far too eager to discredit the anomaly because it puts a chink in the Foundation's armor.

The containment breach incident I mentioned in my pitch could be a wake-up call to the Foundation that they have been disregarding actual concerns brought up by the anomaly in lieu of trying to engage with the merit of the SCP's messages. With this, the Foundation is forced to confront the way they involve themselves with possible disruptions to their status quo and how it damages them.

All in all, thank you for the criticism!

---

svaria