New SCP "The Mechanical Mechanic"

Summary:

Please critique my work, I'd really appreciate it.

"I'm an Android?"

Azzamon 12 Jan 2020 19:11

This idea is about a humanoid android with a height of 163cm and a weight of 46.7kg with a keen resemblance to a human teenage male with curly dark brown hair, hazel-green eyes and caucasoid features, accompanied with blood and a beating heart to go along with it’s disguise of being a teenage boy. However underneath it, shown via x-ray, are an organised group of wires and mechanisms that link up to the cranium dubbed the “central processor”, this central processor acts as a brain animating the SCP to do it’s many functions. But this SCP is a robot but what makes this one special is it’s lack of speciality, this SCP has the regular strength and intellectual capacity of an average human, the only thing anomalous about this SCP is that it was created due to unknown means that cannot be replicated and that it is so life like, it didn’t realised it was mechanical until it was told by the Foundation. This SCP is generally safe and isn’t hostile mostly staying in it’s containment suite reading or playing video games with no knowledge of how it came into existence or who it’s creator is, only that it has a name and it could be linked with that, it’s generally obedient to the Foundation following orders due it’s lack of ever getting out due to it’s unimpressive feats.

Note: the title is not correct, it should be "I'm an Android?"

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Azzamon

Last edited on 13 Jan 2020 00:34 by Azzamon Show more

Re: New SCP "The Mechanical Mechanic"

Doctor Fullham 13 Jan 2020 04:20

What you have currently is the "Superpowered humanoid" or "X-Man" concept. An SCP article is much more than simply an anomalous item, being, place, or event. The true meat of the SCP is the story around the anomalous thing. The thing itself is a vehicle that the narrative is attached to. To give my best example from Series 1, look at SCP 093: The anomalous item itself is a rock that turns mirrors into interdimensional portals. The thing that makes this SCP shine is the story; the history of the dimension that it leads to.

I recommend reading several items on the Guide Hub:

How to Write an SCP

Essay Regarding SCPs, Narratives, and How They Can Share a Page

There are other guides there that can be very helpful, but these are some of the most often recommended for first-time contributors.

As you are pitching a humanoid SCP idea, I also recommend reading So You Want To Write A Humanoid SCP Object to assist in avoiding the "X-Men problem."

General Notes

We need to know more than just "it's a really lifelike android that has the same properties as a human (other than being an android)." What story are you going to tell - How The Foundation found it, Who or what created it and why, did someone use it to some end? Does it have its own motives? (These are not all questions that must be answered, these are some possible narrative hooks.)

I also recommend reading a significant amount of the top-rated SCPs from the last several months, and focus on reading more recent SCPs rather than older series. Many early series SCPs would not last a day under current SCP standards, and a few are only still around because of their history with the wiki itself. (This does not apply to all early series SCPs, but many of these were written before the wiki's style had really been cemented.)

Why does the Foundation care about this android at all? Like, I see no reason they couldn't just release it once they figure out it's no threat and its creation can't be mimicked. How old is this thing? Where has it been living? Does it not realize nothing is strange when it doesn't age? A created android can have the same physical capabilities of a human, but it's still not. Was it built with the knowledge of an "average" teenager? The Foundation not knowing why something was created isn't a reason why you, as the author, shouldn't know. Why would anyone create an android that's functionally the same as a human instead of just adopting or having a kid?

The anomalous entity, while important, is not actually the main focus of the SCP. A good story, a compelling narrative, something that makes the reader feel something - that is the goal of an SCP article. What feeling do you want to evoke from the reader? Horror? Empathy? Sadness? You need to create a narrative around this object and its effects.

I am not saying this to discourage you, I just want you to understand the amount of effort that goes into creating a successful SCP.

If you can revise this idea with a story that you want to tell, we will be able to give you much more meaningful and constructive critique.