SCP-2797 were created by a Prometheus Labs subcontractor located in Nizhnevartovsk, Russia. Due to the displayed anomalous properties, and the fact that "proteins" and "squirrels" are homographs in the Russian language, it is believed that SCP-2797 were created due to a mistranslation.
I want to like the article, but this is a really bad case of being too explanatory… I mean, there really isn't a way you could have gotten this across to English-speakers otherwise, but I think that's a defect in the concept, rather than something I can simply excuse. No vote.
Maybe get in contact with one of the Russians and get them to do a write-up of it in Russian, see how it goes on that wiki.
EDIT: Also, this could be a lot better if it were longer and more fleshed-out.
if your reading this your gay
I did *like this one, particularly after the homophone was explained.
I can't quite upvote this one, however, and sadly it's a wordcount issue. I just think the containment procedures are way too skimpy. I mean, yes, don't let them come into contact with biological matter, but where is the Foundation supposed to put ~800 squirrels that can't come into contact with biological matter (including food, one would assume)? If you take -Ks description, you can't even put them with eachother! Do you cram them in individual lockers? Are they all in one big pit? What?
If that helps, I'm not sure I'd add anything more to the containment even if this weren't for the contest. I do usually write rather skimpy containment procedures, because they usually aren't really relevant to the core of my articles, and are just there because the format demands it, so I try to get past them as soon as possible. Also, sticking things in cells/pits/whatever is not special containment procedures, in my opinion. It's just normal containment procedures.
Still doesn't work for me. I would see normal containment procedures as something like, "Put them in a standard containment terrarium and feed them squirrel food." Figuring out how to jump the gap between that and "deny them all biological material, presumably including food, trees, and each other" is waaaay non-trivial.
Pros:
- I like the fact they make anomalous squirrels instead of proteins due to mistranslation. It's quite wacky of an idea.
- This makes me wonder what is their intended purpose though…
Cons:
- It is implied they are created, although that is not really addressed in here.
Verdict: Upvote
The joke kinda loses its impact on non-Russian speakers like myself, where it has to be spelled out to make sense, but despite that I still find it too amusing to not upvote. Protein squirrels, assemble!
And if the whole world is crashing down… fall through space out of mind with me.
This still doesn't clear you from doing Fifthist Russian (or were they Mongolian?) squirrels.
As for the article itself, it's indeed silly. Not much else to say about it.
Ah, Prometheus Labs.
So much !!!SCIENCE!!!.
So little competent management.
+1
Why does it go A-B-E-F-K?
So I love "it is believed that SCP-2797 were created due to a mistranslation." but overall, this is just a little too weird without any wow. I mean, the end is cute and funny, but it's also too explainy, as Scantron said.
Why does it go A-B-E-F-K?
Because there are more variants in between that aren't mentioned.
Why not? There doesn't seem to be a reason to leave them out. If they're boring or unimportant, why not leave them out entirely?
In-universe, there would many of them, each doing their own little thing. The five listed would most certainly not be enough to accomplish what they were intended to do (even if they can't do it now anyway).
Out-of-universe, I don't like lists like this to be twenty items longs, because it would delay the punchline too much. Besides, word limit.
Hence, the compromise.
Oh. Was going to research this A-B-E-F-K… Thought it was some sort of official classification for proteins!
Okay. This is simply too funny to downvote for technical reasons, i.e. skimpy special containment procedures.
However, it is indeed a pity that the joke has to be spelled out. Could you, for instance, caption your image in Russian with translation 'protein' in English, and have a footnote (or a strikethrough) correcting the translation? I don't know if it would work in-universe. Just an idea. And I think it would actually lower your word count…!
No, wait, Prometheus made the mistake, not the Foundation. Oh never mind!
In my mind, it's not the Prometheus who did the mistranslating, but the company they hired. So PL still fucked up by hiring some idiots, but not in the actual translation. The Foundation doesn't know this though, they're just hypothesizing.
I mentioned this in chat before posting, this is actually based on real life incident that happened. Because of this, I find it more believable that it's the Russian party that fucked up the translation.
Oh! I would LOVE to know about this real-life incident, anqxyr!
(and I also must find out how chat works. So far, every time I try to join, I stop at the explanations and go 'What the fuck is this about??? Why does it have to be so complicated???' My main problem being that I don't like installing new software on my puter. Last time I tried I got invaded by malware, viruses and ten billion useless ads…)
