SCP 001 Idea - The Storyteller

Summary:

A seemingly immortal man, dressed in a simple suit, enjoys telling tales...

SCP 001 Idea - The Storyteller

seiibutsu 06 Jan 2020 19:23

I have a lot of the draft for this 001 idea written out already, there's a lot to add still and the meat of the story is still being worked on. Also I feel it's probably a bit bold to go for an attempt at an scp-001 idea this early but I wanted to get this out there and shared in case. Also it's a little… referential so I don't know if it'll be a bit on the nose or to anyones taste, but I had fun workshopping the idea. So I thought I'd give it a try anyway.

Outline.

My SCP-001 is a man, about 38 years old. He dresses in a simple grey or black suit with white shirt and black tie, has a tendency to chain smoke.

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He's kept in a replica of a house from the mid 1950's. he's provided with the basic food and supplies anyone could need and is given next to no contact with anyone. He has access to media for entertainment but it has to be altered to that no real peoples names are contained within and no pictures of real people are included. For example books are fantasy only, authors are given pseudonyms any pictures of "people" are paintings and not based on real people.

The foundation will also "deliver" letters to him from people outside, again using incomplete names, like just an initial .

Through these letters they will arrange for "fans" or "pen pals" to visit. This is where testing takes place. Although this is very rare.

Should scp-001 see a real person in person, a photo of a real person, or see information about a real person. Then there is a high chance that he will begin to tell a tale about this person. The odds are higher if the person is around 38 and almost guaranteed if they are a white male.

Should he begin to tell a story about a person he has identified one of three things happen.

1. Nothing, except an entertaining an morally centered story is told.

2. The target of the story and sometimes people close to them (literally or personally) will be transported somewhere else where the content of the intended story will happen to them.

3. The target of the story will remain but anomalous things will be created in the vicinity of the target.

For those wondering I have 1900+ word draft so far with in depth containment, description, and research into a number of things to fill out my choices for dates, containment, testing … so on.
There's a lot to do if it's to be good though. So any feedback at all is obviously welcome and understood.

Thanks
- rob

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 07 Jan 2020 02:09 by Zyn Show more

Re: SCP 001 Idea - The Storyteller

MalyceGraves 07 Jan 2020 05:03

[Placeholder]

First and foremost I want to point out that the 001 proposals that have survived are almost universally written by authors that have loads of experience on the site, and have written lots of other successful articles. A lot of the readers on the site view the 001 proposals as the pinnacle of the writing that is here, and so the standards for what gets accepted as a 001 are very high.

Not to long ago a beloved author put one up that was well written, but still not good enough, and they ended up taking it down. It represented many many hours of work and it wasn't enough.

That being said...

I have a lot of the draft for this 001 idea written out already, there's a lot to add still and the meat of the story is still being worked on. Also I feel it's probably a bit bold to go for an attempt at an scp-001 idea this early but I wanted to get this out there and shared in case.

Very bold. I don't mean to sound discouraging, but I feel that you should be forewarned that 001 proposals from brand new authors stand very little chance of succeeding for a bunch of reasons.

Also it's a little… referential so I don't know if it'll be a bit on the nose or to anyones taste, but I had fun workshopping the idea. So I thought I'd give it a try anyway.

Callbacks and cross-linking to other articles can sometimes be seen as a lazy way out, a way that authors can hitch their ponies to other, more successful narratives. Sometimes this works if you're fitting something specific into a canon or GoI, but more often than not it just comes off as lazy.

My SCP-001 is a man, about 38 years old. He dresses in a simple grey or black suit with white shirt and black tie, has a tendency to chain smoke.

He's kept in a replica of a house from the mid 1950's. he's provided with the basic food and supplies anyone could need and is given next to no contact with anyone. He has access to media for entertainment but it has to be altered to that no real peoples names are contained within and no pictures of real people are included. For example books are fantasy only, authors are given pseudonyms any pictures of "people" are paintings and not based on real people.

So, does he control this power? Is he compelled to tell a story? Does he have some sort of plan for how his narratives work? Does he just make stuff up?

If he has control over this power, can he use it on himself? Does he keep a memory of all the people he's told stories of in the past? Can he recall people he's not seen in a while?

The foundation will also "deliver" letters to him from people outside, again using incomplete names, like just an initial .

Through these letters they will arrange for "fans" or "pen pals" to visit. This is where testing takes place. Although this is very rare.

So, does he not realize he's in containment? How does the Foundation insure he doesn't just breach containment every time someone else comes to pay a visit?

Should scp-001 see a real person in person, a photo of a real person, or see information about a real person. Then there is a high chance that he will begin to tell a tale about this person. The odds are higher if the person is around 38 and almost guaranteed if they are a white male.

I got to 38-year-old white male and had to force myself to continue. Why does it matter how old or what color the person is? How does that relate to anything?

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I'm afraid that overall this sounds like an opportunity to point a bunch of fingers at series 1 skips and say things about them. As it stands, this sounds like the only narrative hook this will have will be the maybe in what this guy says about other stories that have already been told.

I think that it could have merit, if done properly, as a regular SCP, but as a 001 proposal? Probably not.

However, I'm willing to be convinced that this isn't all there is. Have you done the research necessary to really craft this story into something brilliant? Do you have a lot of hours put in reading the wiki beyond the series 1 skips?

Could you tell a story about the SCP-verse that hasn't already been told, and do it convincingly enough that we'd vote for it to remain a 001 proposal?

For these reasons, and until I'm convinced otherwise, I'm not going to give this a green light.

Last edited on 08 Jan 2020 22:44 by MalyceGraves Show more

Re: SCP 001 Idea - The Storyteller

seiibutsu 07 Jan 2020 07:33

Do you have any constructive thoughts about the idea in general so I can begin working on any aspects over time?

Full response to the questions posted below now. sorry for the original misunderstanding.

Last edited on 07 Jan 2020 22:12 by seiibutsu Show more

Re: SCP 001 Idea - The Storyteller

Zyn 07 Jan 2020 07:45

so I can begin working on any aspects over time?

Malyce asked a bunch of questions in the review. Did you open the collapsible? (Click on the red text that says "That being said…")

Last edited on 07 Jan 2020 07:45 by Zyn Show more

Re: SCP 001 Idea - The Storyteller

seiibutsu 07 Jan 2020 12:44

I'm sorry I read this on a mobile device and for whatever reason it didn't open. Thanks for the heads up.

Re: SCP 001 Idea - The Storyteller

seiibutsu 07 Jan 2020 22:12

Right… I'm at a pc and can actually answer to a degree now.

Callbacks and cross-linking to other articles can sometimes be seen as a lazy way out, a way that authors can hitch their ponies to other, more successful narratives. Sometimes this works if you're fitting something specific into a canon or GoI, but more often than not it just comes off as lazy.

There seems to be a slight misunderstanding. When I said referential I wasn't talking referencing any SCP . The powers could be considered potentially responsible for any other scp sure. But I have no intention to mention any, at least not in the draft post for this. Maybe if people think it makes sense, i'm open to any ideas and suggestions, but I want the scp post to be focused on the scp itself.

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Same for research, I mean research of the real world kind.

So, does he control this power?

The intent is that as far as the reader can tell he can't seem to control his ability to do this, he is just compelled to start telling stories.

He has an office space in the house and writes from time to time and sometimes he will also inadvertently cause smaller things to take place or appear. these events are on a much smaller scale though. Like he's just playing about with story ideas on papaer and somewhere near things are happening.

Does he just make stuff up?

He seems to just make stuff up, but on the occasions where the story is harmless he always tells a story with a moral.

If he has control over this power, can he use it on himself?

He doesn't seem to (as mentioned) but no, he's not able or going to use it on himself.

So, does he not realize he's in containment?

He doesn't know he's in containment no. the containment area is quite sizable. I have an idea for this and a lot will stay in place, but it will likely need tweaking and changing after a draft stage. He is seemingly unaware that time has really moved forward, and so the foundation has a second reason to isolate him, he doesn't know society moved forward from the 50's (70's at the latest) and so they don't want to risk him doing something unpredictable however unintended should something be revealed about the true time.

How does the Foundation insure he doesn't just breach containment every time someone else comes to pay a visit?

Visits are exclusively arranged by the foundation as part of testing to understand the true depth of his abilities. Test happen rarely and he doesn't know the true identity of the visitor until he sees them.

Along with his ability to cause these events to happen to people, if he just sees a parson or a photo of a person, he just seems to "know" their name. Always addressing them by full name. Although this only tends to happen at all as part of the story telling.

got to 38-year-old white male and had to force myself to continue. Why does it matter how old or what color the person is? How does that relate to anything?

So this is where the references are most revealed. I didn't want to mention this too in depth because I want the idea to carry the idea presentation first.

The SCP idea is a massive nod to Rod Serling , creator of The Twilight Zone.

The plan is to not mention this at all in the finished SCP post aside from a redacted mention of the SCP resembling him. This would obviously be impossible because, he's not an immortal.

The 38 thing is a reference to the age and skin colour of those who episodes of the twilight zones stories were based around. It being a joke with some fans that episodes tended to be about 38 year old white men most often. Obviously the show and also the scps stories would be able to happen to anyone, but I wanted the reference to be that for whatever reason he tended to focus on 38 year old men.

There are other more plausible and concrete references in there but I don't want to just write too much now or just draft the scp here for obvious reasons.

And I totally get it if this is a little on the nose like I said before.

The scp could be him, just happen to resemble him, or be a being that saw the twilight zone series in some way and is mimicking him. I want that to be up to the readers imagination to an extent. And with his name redacted I want it to be a thing where, if a reader recognises the description they might go "wait, is that?" but where someone who doesn't know the original twilight zone series they would still see the scp as an interesting idea.

I'm afraid that overall this sounds like an opportunity to point a bunch of fingers at series 1 skips and say things about them.

Just to cover this , I currently have no intention to reference any scp , series 1 or otherwise.

I have a lot more I could add if there's any questions from anyone, much more to containment, testing, original discovery and description. of everything that's already written I plan to work on this for a while to get it just right, so there's nothing super in stone yet.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 08 Jan 2020 05:37 by Zyn Show more

Re: SCP 001 Idea - The Storyteller

MalyceGraves 08 Jan 2020 22:33

I guess this is better? I now know a lot more about the story that you're trying to tell. I still don't think that it is a good enough story to be a 001 proposal in the current climate.

Because of that, I'm still advising against this story.

Some additional thoughts

I get that you're not going to try and point at other skips to get this idea rolling, but I still don't think this is an original enough of an idea to stand as a solid 001 skip. One of my favorite 001 proposals is tufto's proposal, and it is a callback to other mythologies, original stories. It involves a complex narrative of a big and far-reaching concept that is stunning in how it slowly reveals a terrible choice that MUST be made in order to preserve everything.

While I believe that a storyteller that manipulates reality by the stories they tell isn't necessarily a bad idea, reality benders in general have been so overdone at this point that it needs to be an exceptional story for it to just stay in the mainlist as a skip, not to mention the strength needed to be a 001.

I realize this isn't something you want to hear, but that's just the raw reality of it. If you do not trust my assessment, you're more than welcome to craft your story and post it to the main site. Regardless, you should also not rely on the opinion of a single critter before deciding what to do with your piece.

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As for the piece itself, I have some additional thoughts on this, based upon your follow up.

Compulsion is really tricky. Petrograd started a great thread about it, and I suggest you take a look. I think that Kalinin said it best when they said:

Compulsion effects are frequently used as a shortcut to getting characters to act in a certain manner, without doing the heavy lifting of establishing a person (with accompanying traits that will determine how they act), setting up an event, and writing about a reaction and the consequences thereof.

Creating the Storyteller from your piece as nothing more than a mouthpiece for whatever "story" he's telling is just a meta/meta of yourself, and if you need to wrap that shell around whatever you're saying to make what you're saying interesting, then perhaps you shouldn't be saying it.

Please don't take what I'm saying as being intentionally rude, I'm trying to give you context for my opinion.

He doesn't know he's in containment no. the containment area is quite sizable….

If this guy is this dangerous, I don't understand why the Foundation would bother trying to contain him like this. Dose him up on amnestics or sedatives and keep him out. Or if he's somehow immune to either of those things, surround him with SRAs and lock him in a hole. The Foundation cares far more about protecting reality than it does about not hurting someone's feelings.

Visits are exclusively arranged by the foundation as part of testing to understand the true depth of his abilities.

At a certain point this begins to sound like creating more things as filler, rather than as a way to flesh out the story you're trying to tell. I still don't understand why the Foundation would care at all about understanding the depths of this guy's abilities. He's a Type Green with a narrative.

The SCP idea is a massive nod to Rod Serling , creator of The Twilight Zone.

While I recognize the desire to pay homage to this guy, but one of the things you aught to remember is that everyone makes references to how all of his stories seemed to be made up of 38 year old white guys because they were. Television of that time period was incredibly racist, and white culture back then was full of the idea that interesting things only ever happen to white people. No one gave a damn about PoC or minorities of any stripe.

So, my personal feelings aside, I suggest just not including the "38-year-old white guy" part. I know it takes some of the punch away from your homage, but I don't want people to be unnecessarily offended.

Last edited on 08 Jan 2020 23:12 by MalyceGraves Show more

Re: SCP 001 Idea - The Storyteller

seiibutsu 09 Jan 2020 07:17

So, my personal feelings aside, I suggest just not including the "38-year-old white guy" part. I know it takes some of the punch away from your homage, but I don't want people to be unnecessarily offended.

I think this needs some work yes. initial draft after all. To be fair the mention of 38 year olds is a very throw away line in the draft i've got so far.

As for the state of tv at the time, the show was well know for being about mortal lessons, it was written from a more open minded leaning. there's only a couple of interviews with rod out there but he talks at great length about things related to this topic. It's an interesting watch if anyone ever has any time.

I'll continue to add to the idea, finish my draft away from here. I'll also wait to see what others think of the idea. If there is more you'd like to know I'm more than happy to share.

I don't intend to ever post an SCP without two green lights from anyone and I know this one is one I want to work on for a while to get right, so I expect it to be a long road for its full creation.

No offense taken at any feedback given, always appreciated.