SCP critique or greenlight

Summary:

for a prostitute fairy

SCP critique or greenlight

SNOM 05 Jan 2020 17:57

Edit: This thread is closed. I was drunk when I wrote this and it’s stupid, disrespectful and weird. Now look at the corpse of a drunk idea.

Along roadsides in the USA sometimes a emergency phone will appear with the text “free hooker fairy call now”

When someone tries to call with the phone a mysterious voice will say “thank you for calling Fairy Hooked Corp. your product will soon arrive have a fine day. Nothing will happen if the caller is female

10 to 15 minutes later a entity that looks like a human but with fly wings will arrive and tries to convince the caller to go to a motel where they will engage into sex. If the persuading fails the entity will disappear in a poof of smoke.

If the entity succeeds in convincing the caller they go to the nearest motel and they will engage into sex

When the caller goes to sleep after he has having engaged into sex the entity will disappear and might leave behind a present.

All these entities have unique personality’s and appearances.

These entities work for some kind of company that specializes in anomalous sex.

There are three logs about foundation employees having tests, but only one has a good time.

I want some good critique and maybe a greenlight, so pick it apart!

Last edited on 06 Jan 2020 07:54 by SNOM Show more

Re: SCP critique or greenlight

Doctor Fullham 05 Jan 2020 18:07

Ring ring, it's...

So here is another new idea seeing as my other ideas where bland/didn’t gain much traction.

I hate to be the one to say this, but this may be a sign that you need to slow down and give each individual idea a bit more thought. You've been a forum member for under a month; how long have you been reading articles on the wiki? A good chunk of successful authors read quite a few (probably 50-100) series 4-5 articles before posting their first.

I partially agree with qntm here - sexual content is a very tricky thing to do right, even for experienced writers. It doesn't earn an automatic no-GL from me on that basis alone; however…

“free hooker fairy call now”

This whole thing uses language that is kinda disrespectful towards sex workers in general. "Hooker" is often used as a derogatory term. If you want to write an SCP about an anomalous sex worker company, you will need to do the research to make sure you are not offending anyone. Sex workers exist, are real human beings, and deserve the same measure of respect as anyone else.

Nothing will happen if the caller is female

Why not? Fairies have traditionally been both male and female as well as being not too concerned with heteronormative ideals. I'm not going to bring sexual/gender politics into this but there's definitely some assumptions being made here. I'm curious as to how old you are, because a lot of this gives off an air of sexual immaturity.

These entities work for some kind of company that specializes in anomalous sex.

How does The Foundation discover this? You, as the author, know this, but you need to have an explanation for how The Foundation finds out (not magically knows) these details.

It's also not particularly interesting overall. There's no real narrative thread here - it's just sex fairies. What is this "agency"? Who runs it? What are their goals? What do the fairies get out of this? You've got the what and some of the how, but not a single why question is answered here.

As it stands, personally, I would drop this idea. Sexual SCPs are rare for a reason and bringing the concept of sex work into it will only complicate that even further. I also want to mention that several users in the IRC chat mentioned that the content made them uncomfortable, so if that's any indication, I don't see this doing well if it makes it to the main site.

Last edited on 06 Jan 2020 06:25 by Doctor Fullham Show more

Re: SCP critique or greenlight

SNOM 06 Jan 2020 07:56

Thanks, I was drunk when I wrote this idea, it was just wrong. Back to the idea board!

Re: SCP critique or greenlight

qntm 05 Jan 2020 18:30

So generally an SCP with sexual content is an automatic "no green light" from me because this is a delicate topic which even highly experienced professional writers screw up constantly. You're a total newcomer who's never written an SCP before, so unfortunately I don't fancy your chances.

If you weren't a newcomer I would probably still reject this pitch because there's essentially no discernable difference between this organisation and a real agency providing real girls wearing fake fairy wings. The only really anomalous thing in your entire pitch is the puff of smoke when the fairy disappears.